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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296206">Fracture</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BouncyPickle/pseuds/BouncyPickle'>BouncyPickle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse of Authority, Abusive Neil Hargrove, Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barebacking, Child Abuse, Choking, Come Swallowing, Consensual Sex, Death Threats, Derogatory Language, Emotional Manipulation, Forced Orgasm, Gags, Gun Violence, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mind Rape, Minor Character Death, Mutual Non-Con, Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Older Man/Younger Man, POV Alternating, POV Billy Hargrove, POV Jim "Chief" Hopper, Period-Typical Homophobia, Possession, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Restraints, Rough Oral Sex, Sexual Assault, Sexual Violence, Spanking, Strangulation, Threats of Violence, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:40:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BouncyPickle/pseuds/BouncyPickle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Chief Hopper is possessed by the Mind Flayer, Billy is unfortunate enough to catch the monster's attention.</p><p>Billy's broken in his heart and soul. The Mind Flayer knows exactly how to shatter him. Hop does everything he can to pick up the pieces and put them back together again.</p><p>**This story contains RAPE of both parties involved. Please be mindful of the tags.**</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Billy Hargrove &amp; Jim "Chief" Hopper, Billy Hargrove &amp; Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Billy Hargrove/Shadow Monster | Mind Flayer, Mind Flayer!Hop/Billy Hargrove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work is inspired by lowlife-symptom's amazing art: (TW for rape/noncon) https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052652</p><p>Also, please be mindful of the tags everyone. This story is very graphic. If I missed any tags/triggers please let me know!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billy can’t believe his luck. He recognizes the truck he’d managed to flag down just as it pulls into the lot next to his busted up Camaro. Billy doesn’t know for sure until the window is down and the driver is scowling at him. It’s Chief Hopper. Normally Billy would tell Hop off, their typical back and forth, but now Billy’s just glad the man’s here. It means Billy doesn’t have to find a payphone somewhere to call the cops.</p><p>“Hargrove,” Hop starts, his voice is both chastising and concerned, as it often is when he talks to Billy, “What trouble did you get into this time?”</p><p>“<em> I </em> didn’t do anything!” Billy shouts, hating how frantic his voice sounds. Something flashes through the older man’s eyes as they take in Billy’s bleeding forehead but Billy hardly notices, “This-this <em> thing </em> came outta nowhere! Hit my car. A rabid fucking <em> dog </em>or something.”</p><p>Billy takes a step back when Hop shoves his door open and climbs down out of the cab, “Jesus. You okay, kid?”</p><p>“Yeah! I mean-” Billy laughs, a touch hysterical to his own ears, “My car’s a total <em> wreck </em>and there’s some wild fucking animal running around but yeah, I’m peachy.”</p><p>Hop’s hand is on the gun at his waist. Billy half expects the man to arrest him or something, but he doesn’t. He draws his firearm, keeps it aimed at the ground. A big hand falls on Billy’s shoulder and he doesn’t let himself flinch away even though his heart is pounding in his ears.</p><p>“Listen to me, kid,” Hop says in a tone that brokers no argument, “You’re gonna plant it in my truck and <em> stay there</em>. Got it?”</p><p>Billy nods but Hop’s grip only tightens.</p><p>“I mean it, Hargrove,” he sounds dangerous. Billy gulps. “Stay put until I get back, are we clear?”</p><p>Billy shakes the older man’s hand off, “<em>Yeah</em>, I got it.”</p><p>Billy turns away before Hop can say more. As he yanks open the truck door, Billy can hear Hop walking off behind him. The cab is warm when he settles down in the passenger seat, warm enough that Billy’s sweating in his layers. He pulls his jacket off until he’s left in just his wife beater. When Billy realizes that the truck is still running, the exhilarating thought of stealing the Chief’s car is quickly squashed by the terrifying thought of his dad finding out. So Billy cranks whatever shitty music Hop has on up and slumps down to wait, even settling his feet on the dash petulantly.</p><p>His fingers are shaking with adrenaline, his head is pounding. Billy’s used to it. He squeezes his eyes shut and shoves his head back into the headrest behind him. Yeah, the music sucks and it’s killing his already splitting head but Billy just <em> needs </em>it to be loud. The noise floods his senses. Billy doesn’t know how long he sits there, tapping beats into his knees with his thumbs, when Hop finally returns. The driver’s door opens suddenly. Hop reaches inside, twisting the keys and yanking them out. The music cuts to silence.</p><p>“Get out,” Hop demands.</p><p>Billy bristles but listens anyway. As his boots hit the gravel, Billy turns to grab his jacket but Hop slams the passenger door shut behind him before he can. It’s then that Billy gets a look at the man. He looks sweaty and his clothes are all messed up like he was in a fight. Billy follows him as Hop rounds the truck. </p><p>“Hey, you good?” he asks while Hop opens the back hatch and pulls the tailgate down, “What happened?”</p><p>“Grab me my flashlight,” Hop orders, “It's near the back there, probably under the blanket.”</p><p>Billy scoffs, “Grab it yourself, old man. What, your arthritic knees can’t take it?”</p><p>“My knees are fine,” Hop shoots back, “Just hurry up so we can get out of here.”</p><p>“Jesus, <em> fine</em>,” Billy grunts as he hauls himself up onto the tailgate, muttering curses under his breath.</p><p>Hop catches him by the elbow, “Shoes.”</p><p>Billy cannot believe this shit, “What?”</p><p>“I don’t want you tracking dirt all over my stuff,” Hop explains, serious as all hell, “Boots. Off.”</p><p>Billy can’t tell if the cop is fucking with him or not. Still, the man has a gun holstered on his hip so Billy obliges. He sits down to undo his boots and drops them to the gravel. “There,” he lifts a socked foot, wiggles his toes, “Happy now?”</p><p>Hop shoves his leg aside, “Jumping with joy. Now, come on. I haven’t got all night.”</p><p>Billy rolls his eyes before turning and crawling into the truck bed. Billy can’t really see that great. Without the light from inside the cab, it’s dark in the enclosed back of the truck. Even so, he can make out the blanket well enough. When he feels around it, Billy doesn’t find anything. He curses with heat.</p><p>“I can’t find your stupid flashlight,” he snaps over his shoulder. The truck dips as Hop climbs into the back too. Billy keeps feeling around, “Why would you leave the damn thing rolling around back here anyway? Jesus Chri-nngh!”</p><p>Billy is cut off suddenly when a hand grabs him by his ankle and <em> pulls</em>. He’s jerked down, landing hard on his stomach. His chin bounces off the floor. Billy bites his tongue. He whirls around, completely pissed, but something in him freezes when he sees Hop. The man’s uniform top is unbuttoned, his belt’s undone, his pants are open. He’s still holding onto Billy’s ankle.</p><p>“Is this what you want?” Hop asks, voice all wrong.</p><p>Billy’s face flushes a furious red as anger surges through him; he knows what this is now. He kicks out but Hop’s hold on his leg keeps him from hitting the man in the face. </p><p>“Fuck off,” Billy snarls, “I’m not a fucking <em> fag</em>.”</p><p>Hop acts like he hasn’t even heard him. He drags Billy to him with strength that surprises Billy. “So <em> young</em>,” Hop says in that voice that doesn’t sound like Hop at all. It’s calm and venomous, “So <em> spirited</em>.”</p><p>Billy’s had enough. He reels his fist back and punches Hop right in the face. The man drops his leg as his head snaps to the side. Billy immediately takes the opening. Before he can get past Hop, however, the older man has him by his throat. Billy’s eyes shoot open when Hop picks him up like he weighs nothing and slams him back down into the truck bed. Billy’s head spins from the force. </p><p>Suddenly the hands on his throat constrict and blind panic floods Billy’s veins. He lashes out but Billy can’t shake Hop off. His face gets hot. Billy tries to suck in a breath but can’t. His vision blurs. After a moment, his arms fall limp and his legs stop kicking. Billy thinks he’s going to die. The sound of waves crashing washes over him. Billy misses the ocean.</p><p>“No!” Hop yells and suddenly his hands are gone from Billy’s neck. While Billy lurches, sucking in air desperately, Hop laughs, “Don’t worry, this isn’t over yet.”</p><p><em> This guy is crazy, </em> Billy thinks, <em> completely insane</em>. </p><p>Hop wrenches Billy’s jeans open while he’s still coming back to himself. Billy’s breaths rattle in and out of him as his pants are pulled off. He tries to fight but air isn’t returning his faculties fast enough. It barely takes Hop any time at all to remove his bottoms. Billy’s only coming back to himself when Hop pries his legs apart and forces his way between them. Cold air against his privates jolts Billy back into awareness. Hop’s hands on him are gripping impossibly tight. He can’t shake them free.</p><p>Hop snatches his neck again and Billy freezes. The older man doesn’t squeeze though, just holds Billy in place. Billy feels his calloused palm against his throat when he swallows thickly. Hop’s other hand comes up to his face and Billy flinches when a thumb strokes over his cheekbone.</p><p>“Those eyes…” Hop muses and Billy glares, “Yes, just like that. So much <em> rage</em>,” Hop leans in until Billy is grunting as his legs are bent at the waist uncomfortably. Hop’s nose trails under Billy’s chin, up the side of his neck, breathing in. The cool feeling makes Billy shiver. When Hop speaks, it's so close to his ear Billy can feel Hop's mustache, "So much <em> fear</em>."</p><p>Billy's breathing lurches again even though Hop isn't strangling him like before. Billy's been afraid a lot in his life. He's helpless. That makes him so fucking <em> angry</em>. It's a fragile anger though. Shaky. He knows it like Billy knows himself. He's a god of rage born from a womb of helpless fear. He hates that Hop knows. Hop has always been lenient with Billy, always sighs away charges, always tells Billy to sleep it off. He looks at Billy, in the station with another black eye, and sees him for what he is under all that anger. It makes Billy sick to think of it now. Billy sucks in a shaky breath, rattled by the tears welling in his eyes. Then he realizes Hop is still speaking.</p><p>"--a healthy body," Hop whispers it like he isn't even talking to Billy, "I could, you know," a big flat hand slides down Billy's stomach, over his shirt, like he's petting him, "They'd grow so well in such a good host."</p><p>Billy tries to fight Hop off again, hoping he's distracted. He can't. Hop just presses down on his throat until Billy’s sure it's going to be crushed, feels like the cartilage and muscles are just going to <em> give </em>under all the force, but when Billy stills, Hop eases up before it does. He grabs Billy’s left leg, right under his knee where Billy is secretly ticklish, and lifts. Billy's heart is hammering away in his chest as Hop pushes his leg up, gets under it, rests Billy’s calf on his shoulder. Billy feels spread open, displayed, even in the dark.</p><p>Billy chokes, voice tattered from his sore throat and all the fear clogging up his lungs, "Please don't."</p><p>Hop's whole body shudders. His fingers dig bruises into the top of Billy's thigh. Then he takes in one long, slow breath. Lets it out in a dragging exhale. When Hop meets Billy’s eyes again, Billy flinches back. For just a moment, under the inky black of night and the flickering, jaundice filter of the street light outside, Hop looks like a whole different person. His veins look black. His <em> eyes </em> look black. Billy knows, in his <em> bones, </em> that monsters aren't real. Hop didn't get possessed by some demon. He's just another asshole taking advantage of an opportunity to get his dick wet. Billy knows. But he can't shake the feeling he's pinned beneath some monster waiting to rip his throat out anyway.</p><p>"You beg so well," Hop still sounds calm but Billy can see how fast his chest is rising and falling. Can feel his pulse racing where his fingertips dent Billy's flesh. It makes Billy queasy. Hop smiles down at him. It's a horrible display of white teeth cut across his face, "Do it again. Come on now. You're a good boy, aren't you? Ask me real nice."</p><p>Billy gulps under the hand on his neck. Then he spits in Hop's face, "<em>Fuck you.</em>"</p><p>Hop laughs.</p><p>Suddenly he slaps Billy across the cheek hard enough his head snaps to the side. It's such a familiar response to Billy talking back, he'd almost been expecting it. He clenches his jaw, a reflex more than anything, and shuts his mouth. His eyes burn. Billy looks at the woods outside the window of Hop's truck before he hears the older man shifting his clothes. Billy's arms scramble up in an attempt to stop this, pushing at Hop's chest and gripping at the wrist where Hop is still holding him by the neck. Billy isn't a pussy. He lifts weights. He fights. His muscles aren't just for show. It doesn't matter. Hop is stronger.</p><p>Billy squeezes his eyes shut when he feels Hop's cock against him. The tip is hot and slick. Hop holds Billy in place as he ruts, rubbing his hardness against Billy’s bare thigh, his balls, against his soft cock. A sound echoes before Billy realizes he's made it, a whimpery little noise that jumps from the back of his throat. Hop moans above him. Billy presses both of his hands in Hop's belly, tries with all his strength to push him back. Hop's cock slips under Billy's ballsack, catches on the rim of his asshole, and Billy jumps. The leg not pinned to Hop's shoulder is around Hop's hip and Billy shoves with his knee, then with his heel. The stretch burns. It doesn't stop Hop either.</p><p>"Stop. <em> Stop</em>," Billy tries, desperate but unwilling to beg again, "You're-you're a cop for fuck's sake! You can't <em> do </em>this!"</p><p>"I can do whatever I want," Hop leans over him, forcing his weight onto Billy’s body, "Who's going to stop me?” </p><p>Billy's foot slips, leaving his leg wrapped over Hop's waist. His breath is forced out of his lungs. Billy groans in pain. Hop doesn't stop until their faces are so close they could be touching.</p><p>“Besides..." Hop smiles again, "Who'd want to save <em> you</em>?"</p><p>Billy feels something fragile in him break. His breath trips over a sob he refuses to let out. The tears in his eyes no longer heed him though. They well up over his lashes and spill down his face. Hop brushes one away, softly. He kisses Billy's cheek like Billy isn't flinching away from him. Then Hop's hand settles flat over Billy’s mouth, silencing him. The hand on his throat doesn't tighten but Billy still fights for air. He's breathing just through his nose now, loud, short pants, because the panic in him is making his heart race. Billy grabs at Hop's wrists but he doesn’t try to pull them away. He knows he can't. </p><p>Billy blinks up at the ceiling and this time his tears fall down his temples. All he can do is tell himself the pain will come and go. That's what it does. That's how it always goes. He tries to think of his favorite song. Of beating Hop's face into a <em> pulp</em>. Of walking in the sand at the beach. It doesn't matter. All Billy can think about is how fucking afraid he is. Hop smells like Irish Spring and Marlboros. Hop's hand tastes like dirt, sweat, and blood. Billy's own sniffling, rapid breaths under Hop's hand assault his ears. His senses are flooded with the here and now. Billy's head is aching.</p><p>Hop's cock pushes at him. Billy instinctively clenches up. It doesn't slow Hop down. The stretch is tight and dry around the sticky head of Hop's swollen cock. Hop stifles a yelp from Billy when his cock head pops past the tight ring of Billy’s entrance. Billy is squirming, trying to catch his breath. The pain shocks him. </p><p>Hop is <em> big </em>but Billy is also wound tight. Hop's going in dry. Doesn't even spit on him first. Hop presses, in and in, until Billy can feel him deep in his guts, can feel his scratchy thighs pressed against his own, can feel Hop's balls against his ass. It hurts so much Billy can't stop pained noises from escaping his throat even though he tries. He's whining and whimpering but Hop's hand muffles it all. Billy feels a sweat break across his skin from the pain.</p><p>Hop moans, long and luxurious, even though Billy knows anal without lube isn't fun for either party. Maybe Hop likes that it hurts. Hop doesn't fuck him, just stays buried to the hilt inside. Billy can't catch his breath. Then it feels like Billy is being ripped inside out as Hop rocks his hips back. He pulls all the way out and Billy feels every bit of it, raw pain against his sensitive insides. Billy screams into Hop's hand. Over the stifled sound of his own agony, Billy hears Hop laugh again. Then Hop lays into him, fucking Billy hard and fast.</p><p>Billy struggles because he can't not. It hurts so bad. He tries turning his head free from Hop's hold but Hop doesn't ease up an inch. He tries kicking and punching but his legs are pinned and his arms uncoordinated. Eventually he stops clawing at Hop's wrists and just holds onto them. The older man fucks into him with so much force, Billy can do nothing else. He sobs under Hop's hand and tells himself he wouldn't if it wasn't there to muffle the noise.</p><p>"Look at that," Hop speaks like he isn't fucking into Billy with such force. He's so, so, <em> so </em> calm. Cold, even. Like he isn't talking over the filthy sounds of their skin slapping, "You <em> can </em>be good. You take it so well."</p><p>Billy shudders.</p><p>Hop presses <em> in </em> and stops. Billy's pained grunt is smothered. The muscles in his stomach twitch under his tank top. Hop moans like that's the hottest thing he's ever seen. Billy sweats and cries under the man’s hand, trying to catch his breath. He's so afraid it makes his head spin. That or the lack of air coming through his nose.</p><p>"Shh," Hop hushes him, "Don’t be afraid. It’ll feel so much better when you stop fighting."</p><p>Billy shakes his head the best he can. His eyes feel wide and wild and Billy knows Hop sees the panic, the sheer terror, there. Billy fucking whimpers when Hop kisses his forehead.</p><p>"It’s okay, Billy," Hop starts fucking Billy again as he says that. Slow, this time. But deep. Really deep. Every thrust knocks what little breath Billy has right from his lungs. Hop continues, "I'm not letting you die yet."</p><p>Hop stops talking then, as if he's soothed all of Billy’s worries. Billy trembles instead. He's thought of dying before. Of going out in a blaze of fire and fury. He doesn't want to die like this, pathetic and helpless. Hop’s thrusts speed up, become more erratic. Billy's vision starts to spin. Tears fall down Billy's temples as he thinks about becoming another corpse pulled out of the gutter on the news. Hop would be the one investigating his case, wouldn't he? He'd get away with it. No one would press the issue. Billy would finally be out of everyone's hair.</p><p>Hop moans, low and gravely, as his hips smack into Billy’s ass. He's fucking into Billy hard again, fast and rough. Like he's chasing something. He shifts forward a little, hits Billy inside just that much deeper. It <em> hurts</em>. Billy knows pain but he doesn't know pain like this. Hop speeds up, sounds of skin slapping against skin loud and vulgar. Billy can't breathe. He's sure he's going to pass out. Then Hop shoves his cock so far up Billy's ass it punches a shocked noise out of Billy’s throat and comes. He moans, head thrown back and hips rocking. His cock jerks inside Billy's guts then spills. Hot semen spurts into Billy, filling him deep in his core. </p><p>When Hop moves his hands away from Billy’s face and neck the first thing he does is gasp, swallowing down mouthfuls of precious air. Then Billy shocks himself with a sob. His throat hurts but he can't stop the helpless, wounded noise erupting from his chest. Hop is still inside him, cock softening, and he pets Billy's hair like he's trying to make him feel better or something. Billy sees red. He slaps Hop's hand away before he can think better of it but to his surprise, Hop relents. His limp dick still hurts Billy’s tender ass as Hop finally, <em> finally </em>pulls out. A drip of cum follows. Hop wipes it up with a finger and pushes it back into Billy’s asshole. Billy gasps, tenses, scoots away. Hop lets him go again.</p><p>Billy watches as Hop crawls out of the truck bed. He gets to his feet outside. Once there, Hop fixes his pants and buttons up his shirt. Then he turns to Billy, slides his pants over to him. Billy sits still on the messed up blanket under him and stares.</p><p>"Alright," Hop barks; Billy jumps, "Let's go."</p><p>Billy reaches for his pants but pauses. He looks Hop dead in the eye then he wipes the cum dripping out of his ass onto Hop's blanket. It isn't all of what's inside him, but cleaning it away feels like an act of rebellion. The scowl on Hop's face sends a shiver of terror down Billy's spine though. He swallows around the pain in his throat and looks away from the older man.</p><p>Then Billy hurries into his jeans, doing them up with shaky fingers. Hop bends down and picks up Billy's boots. Sets them on the tailgate. Billy stares at them. He feels like it's a trap. Even so, Billy crawls over to them, reaches out. A big hand snatches him by his wrist and Billy’s whole aching body tenses up tight. Hop yanks Billy to him and Billy nearly falls off the back of the truck, yelping in pain.</p><p>"Such a waste," Hop snarls, dragging his nose down Billy's clenched jaw and bruised neck. He smells at Billy’s collarbone and Billy’s stomach rolls, "Maybe I should give you more. Fill you back up."</p><p>"No," Billy's voice sounds so <em> shaky </em> not at all how he wanted it to come out, "No, I don't-"</p><p>"Ungrateful," Hop sounds amused and that fuels Billy’s anger like almost nothing else, "but fine, have it your way."</p><p>Hop releases him so suddenly, Billy has to catch himself on the tailgate so he doesn't fall. Then Hop is pointing to Billy's boots again.</p><p>"Shoes, come on," he demands, "You want to get out of here, don't you?"</p><p>Billy scowls as he pulls on his shoes. He doesn't lace them back up and Hop doesn't tell him to. Instead Hop grabs him by the bicep and drags him out of the truck bed. Billy cries out. His whole body hurts. The muscles in his legs and back are shaking and sore from strain. His stomach and ass hurt like someone beat the shit out of his insides. Someone kind of did, he supposes. When his feet hit the ground, Billy nearly falls. Hop holds him up. Billy isn't grateful. Before he can adjust to all the pain, Billy is being dragged around to the front of the truck.</p><p>Hop opens the passenger door and shoves at Billy to get inside. It takes all of Billy’s energy to climb up into the seat. He wants to turn and run. This is when he dies, he knows. Letting Hop buckle him into the seat is like signing his own death warrant. Billy doesn't know what else to do. He can't run. Even if he does, Hop has a gun. They're so far out into bumfuck nowhere that not a soul would hear the shot. Even if he gets away, it's not like Billy can call the fucking <em> cops</em>. Not that he will. No one'll believe him. Hop slams the door and Billy is left in the cold, quiet cab alone. He hears the tailgate and back latch close. Then Hop is climbing into the driver's side.</p><p>Billy sees his jacket and pulls it on quickly. He's cold all the way to his bones. It's summertime. In California, it would be blazing outside. Early summer in Indiana means cold, wet nights where the chill surprises you and seeps right past all your layers. Billy tells himself that's why he's cold and shivering. It isn't some stupid thing like shock or fear. It's just the shitty Hawkins weather. Hop starts the truck and Billy watches in the side mirror as the busted up remains of his Camaro shrink in the distance. Billy doesn't know where they're going and he doesn't care. Right up until they're parked on the curb outside his house. His dad is probably the last person on Earth Billy wants to see right now, present company excluded. Except Billy would rather see his dad than die, he guesses.</p><p>"What-?" he starts but Hop doesn't let him finish.</p><p>He shuts the truck off and gets out. Then comes around to Billy’s side and helps him out too. Billy’s chest is rising and falling with rapid breaths. He doesn't know what's happening. He's so, <em> so </em> scared Hop's going to tell Neil what happened. What Billy <em> let </em>happen. Hop rubs a gentle hand over Billy's shoulder where he's helping him stand. It makes Billy sick.</p><p>"Calm down, kid," Hop says and his voice sounds all <em> Hop </em> again, gruff but oddly gentle. Apologetic or something. Billy wants to shove the older man away but he can't because Billy can't walk on his own, "It's going to be okay." Hop says it like even he doesn't believe it.</p><p>He raps on the door, three solid knocks. When Neil answers the scowl already on his face deepens. He looks pissed. Well, he looks <em> more </em> pissed than usual. Billy knows how mad the police escorting his good-for-nothing son home in the middle of the night makes Neil and wishes he could just disappear.</p><p>"What'd he do now?" Neil barks.</p><p>Hop's hand tightens over his shoulder, "Nothing. A deer jumped out of nowhere, hit his car. Kid's lucky to be alive."</p><p>Billy doesn't feel like it.</p><p>Hop continues, "His car wasn't so lucky. Kid's a little banged up but he said he didn't need to go to the hospital. I offered to give him a ride home."</p><p>Neil's cold eyes flick to him, then shift up to the wound on his forehead. It's stopped bleeding but Billy never wiped away the dried blood on his head or in his hair. Neil eases the door open and ushers Billy inside. Billy stumbles but is sure to fall into the door frame and not his father. Neil's jaw tightens as he grabs Billy by the elbow and straightens him up. Billy's body screams in agony but Billy doesn't let out a peep. He knows better.</p><p>"Thank you, Chief," Neil says evenly.</p><p>Hop answers quickly, "It's no problem. Just keep an eye on that head wound, okay? I don't think he has a concussion but better play it safe."</p><p>Neil nods, "Will do. Have a good night."</p><p>"You too," then Hop turns to Billy, "You need to be more careful, kid."</p><p>Billy's stomach turns. Yeah, he's figuring that out. Then Hop trots off while Neil is closing the door. His hand on Billy’s elbow tightens and Billy already feels tears welling in his eyes.</p><p>"What have I told you about driving so recklessly?" Neil snaps, "You don't ever <em> learn</em>, boy."</p><p>Neil is fuming so Billy is surprised when the man drags him to the bathroom. He shoves Billy inside.</p><p>"Take a shower," he demands, "before you bleed all over the new carpet."</p><p>The door <em> slams </em> loud enough to shake the foundations of the whole fucking house. Billy knows this isn't over but he's still baffled Neil hadn't laid into him the moment Hop left. Then he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks maybe he gets it, a little. The wound on his head has swollen. There's blood all up in his hair, dried on his forehead, and smeared down his temple. His lip is split and bleeding. His whole face looks pale and bruisy. There's blood on his tank top. A thin flop sweat is still prickling across his skin. Billy looks like <em> complete shit</em>. He isn't sure if his dad told him to shower out of pity or because he just doesn't want to look at Billy when he's so disgusting.</p><p>Billy scrubs. He scrubs and scrubs. His dad uses Irish Spring. Billy washes with Susan's floral soap instead. He doesn't care that it smells like gardenias as long as it doesn't smell like Irish Spring. If he cries, he doesn't notice. Tears are washed away so easily in the hot water and Billy would never make a sound loud enough for his dad to hear even if he is. He'd learned that a long time ago. Once he's washed Billy still doesn't feel clean. He feels like he's dirty on the inside. Like Hop's jizz is still up inside him, like he'll never be able to get it out. Billy stays under the hot water and doesn't move until his dad bangs on the door.</p><p>Neil doesn't punish him like Billy expects. When Billy steps out of the bathroom, wearing two towels and carrying his dirty clothes in his arms, Neil is sitting in the living room, reading. He doesn't look up.</p><p>"Anything broken?" he asks.</p><p><em> Yes, </em> Billy thinks. "No. I...I'm okay," he says quietly and regrets it. His dad hates when he doesn't speak up.</p><p>Neil nods, still doesn't look at him. "Go to bed," he orders, "We'll talk about this tomorrow."</p><p>Relief and dread war inside him as Billy stumbles to his room. He pulls on some briefs and pajama pants Susan gave him for Christmas that he's never worn and a plain, white undershirt. His blankets aren't warm yet but they're comfortable. Billy doesn't think he'll be able to sleep, he's still wound so tight, his body refuses to relax, but once he's in bed Billy crashes fast and hard. He's asleep before he realizes it. He dreams of crashing his Camaro, of being stalked by a monster in the woods, of being dragged into the warehouse and swallowed up by darkness. When Billy wakes up, trembling, he can't decide if dream or reality is the real nightmare.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billy wears a shirt to work, just a plain, black muscle tee. Normally, he relishes the chance to show off his body in his swimming trunks. But today he doesn't. Eyes on him make his skin prickle uncomfortably. He's trying not to limp. There are bruises all over. He has a busted up cheek and a headache that won't go away. His necklace is missing. If his dad hadn't made him spend all of his savings on a tow truck getting his Camaro back to their house, Billy wouldn't be here today. </p><p>The car still <em> runs </em> even though the front's all smashed up and the windshield's cracked. Neil didn't let him drive though. <em> Susan </em> took him to work. He told her he'd catch a ride home with someone else. Nearly <em> anyone </em> is better company than <em> Susan</em>. His dad didn't even punish him like he'd been expecting. After a few stern, harsh words he told Billy to get his car sorted out and get to work. So that's what Billy did.</p><p>He climbs the lifeguard's chair and sits. There's an umbrella above him but Billy still feels like he's baking under the sun. He doesn't know how long he's up there before Heather asks him to get her an extra flotation device from storage. Billy obliges with no playful jesting or flirting and he doesn’t miss the frown that tugs at Heather's lips when he breezes past her. Billy has his back to the door when he hears footsteps behind him. He freezes. He let himself get cornered again. He's so <em> stupid</em>--</p><p>"Billy?" </p><p>It's Mrs. Wheeler. She and Billy had plans to meet up the night before. Billy hadn't showed. She sounds a tad nervous, "I wanted to talk to you. About last night."</p><p>Billy's stomach rolls. Thinking about last night makes all of his aches and pains flare back to life. He clenches his eyes shut but when he does all Billy can see is fucking Hop.</p><p>"I just wanted to explain why I didn't show," she says and Billy only barely hears it. It takes a second for him to realize that he isn't the only one who bailed on their plans, "It's just. I have a family who cares about me. I don't want to hurt them. You can understand that, right?"</p><p><em> No</em>, Billy thinks, as he sucks in a shuddery breath. If he had a family that cared about him then he'd have someone he could turn to, someone who would help him. Billy grabs the floaty for Heather and turns around quickly. Karen is standing in the doorway, looking a little lost. Billy kind of hates her but he kind of pities her too.</p><p>"Stay away from me, Karen," he snaps. It's for her own good anyway. Billy doesn't wait for her to say anything before he shoulders by her and heads back out to the pool.</p><p>The day drags on and Billy feels worse by the minute. He's sort of slouching in the chair, trying to find a comfortable position, when Heather calls up to him.</p><p>"Billy!" she taps the leg of the chair and Billy straightens up, "The police are here to talk to you. Said it's about an accident report. Did you really get into a car crash? Is that why you look like crap today?"</p><p>Her teasing tone doesn't stop Billy’s blood from turning to ice in his veins. He looks up and from under his sunglasses Billy spots him. Hop is standing by the entrance to the pool. He's wearing his uniform, arms folded across his chest, looking to all the world like nothing more than a cop just trying to do his job. Billy knows better. Billy absolutely knows better. Hop's warning from last night rings through Billy's mind as he scrambles down from the lifeguard's chair.</p><p>"Tell him to fuck off," he snaps.</p><p>Heather scoffs in disbelief, "It's Chief Hopper, Billy. Just go talk to him. I'll take over for you here."</p><p>Billy isn't listening to her anymore. He moves through the crowd, too fast. Slams into someone and knocks their cooler to the ground but Billy doesn't care. He's only thinking of getting <em> away</em>. He heads around the locker rooms, along the opposite side of the building from Hop. He's trying to think of a place to hide, trying to decide if running is worth it. Could he even get away without Hop noticing? Suddenly a hand on the back of his neck is shoving him into the showers and Billy realizes what a mistake he's made. He should have stayed by the pool with everyone else. He should have been more <em> careful</em>.</p><p>"Where ya going, kid?" Hop asks and Billy stops breathing, "I know you're not trying to run away from the law, right?"</p><p>Billy shakes his head quickly. He knows by <em> law</em>, Hop really means <em> him</em>. Yeah, Billy was running from Hop but he doesn't tell Hop that.</p><p>"No, no, I was-" Billy tries to plant his feet so Hop can't push him into one of the shower stalls. It doesn't work, "I was just going to the bathroom."</p><p>Hop shoves him, hard. Billy stumbles into the tiled wall of the shower and barely catches himself. He spins around, the moment he can. He doesn't want his back to Hop for a second longer. That's all the time it takes for Hop to close in on him though. Billy presses himself back into the wall to get away but Hop follows. He boxes Billy in with an arm planted by Billy’s shoulder. Billy's fists clench at his sides. He thinks about kicking Hop in the nuts and making a break for it. He doesn't want to be charged with assaulting an officer or something. He doesn't know what to do so Billy does nothing. Hop grins at him.</p><p>"You need to be smart about this, kid," Hop says, low like he wants only Billy to hear.</p><p>Then his hand comes up and Billy flinches, thinking he's about to be hit, but Hop just takes his sunglasses off. He tucks them into his uniform top. Then Hop catches Billy by his chin, gently stroking his face. Billy can't tell if that's worse than being slapped or not. Hop bends his arm at the elbow, resting his forearm against the tile now and leaning in closer. Billy can feel the weight of the bigger man up in his space like this and Billy tenses up tight. He's just about to punch Hop in his ugly ass face, consequences be damned, when Hop speaks again.</p><p>"I know you aren't dumb," Hop's face is inches from Billy's, his eyes searching Billy's features, "So work with me, kid," when he dips a bit closer Billy clenches his own eyes shut, "I got a lot of power in this town. I'd hate to have to use it to punish you," Hop's breath is warm on Billy’s face, "Smart kid like you knows when to behave, right? I <em> know </em>you can be good when you need to be. Will you be a good boy for me, Billy?"</p><p>Billy can feel his body shaking. He isn't sure if it's anger or fear but it makes his heart race. He's taking in Hop's words, digesting them. They make something scared and small inside of Billy come to life. He knows the threat. He understands the rules. Billy doesn't want to play along. He doesn't want to be <em> good </em> for Hop. He doesn't want to die, though, either. Remembering last night, Billy had thought Hop was going to kill him and dump his corpse in a ditch. The threat is still so real.</p><p>"Well?" Hop presses, squeezing Billy’s chin a little harder.</p><p>Billy nods.</p><p>Hop turns his head, so his ear is facing Billy’s mouth, "What was that?"</p><p>Billy doesn't realize he's crying until he feels tears tickling his cheeks. He swallows thickly at his suddenly dry throat, "Yes."</p><p>Hop looks at him again but Billy wishes he wouldn't. Hop's eyes are twinkling with delight.</p><p>"Yes, what?" he mocks, "Come on now, speak up."</p><p>Billy’s breathing hitches, "Yes, sir."</p><p>Hop still looks like he's waiting for more. Billy gulps again. He feels like he can't breathe. Hop’s fingers are no longer nice. They grip his jaw, hard, in warning. Billy blinks rapidly to clear away his tears.</p><p>Then he growls, "Yes, sir. I can be a good boy."</p><p>Hop grins, "That's a start. Now, show me that you mean it."</p><p>Billy freezes. He doesn't know what Hop wants. Until he, unfortunately, <em> does</em>.</p><p>Hop grabs him by his shoulders and shoves him down. Billy's knees hit the cement floor so hard he lets out a shocked cry. Hop grips his hair and yanks his head up. Billy's looking at the buckle of Hop's belt, then up Hop's big, imposing figure. Hop is glaring down at him. Billy shuts his mouth, doesn't make another peep. Hop's expression melts into something undeniably pleased at that. Hop reaches for his belt and Billy feels like he's living in some upside down hell world, like this doesn't happen in the reality he knows. Billy doesn't want to go down on some asshole cop in the dingy showers at a public fucking pool in the backwater shithole of Hawkins, Indiana.</p><p>"Billy?" Heather's voice shocks him so bad Billy jumps. He tries to stand, Hop holds him down, "You guys almost done?"</p><p>Hop hasn't had a chance to undo his pants yet. He cups the back of Billy's head like he wasn't just pulling viciously at his hair. Hop crouches in front of him just as Heather rounds the corner, coming into view. She gasps. Hop looks at Billy with eyes so vile and mean they could have been plucked out of Lucifer's fucking face. Then he softens, shifts into an entirely different person as he turns to Heather. She kneels down next to Hop and it's then Billy remembers he's crying. She looks more worried than he's even seen on her pretty, smiley features. </p><p>"Billy, are you okay?" Heather asks in a rush, "What happened?"</p><p>"Kid must have been hurt worse than we thought in the crash," Hop says it like he's <em> concerned </em> and Heather snaps her attention to the cop, eating it up, "I think he needs medical attention."</p><p>"Oh my god," Heather covers her mouth with a hand then looks at Billy again, her eyes look a little wet now too, "You're going to be okay, Billy. I'll call an ambulance."</p><p>When she goes to stand, Hop grabs her arm. Billy snarls at him, jerking forward to intervene. The hand in his hair catches him by the back of the neck and halts him. Billy realizes Hop isn't hurting Heather. He didn't grab her that hard. Heather simply turns a curious glance Hop's way and Hop frowns like a worried <em> dad </em>or something. Like he cares about Billy.</p><p>"No need," Hop explains, "We can take him in my truck. Will you help me with him?"</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Billy barks before Heather can agree. She's too nice. She doesn't know what Hop's really like. Billy's terrified of what will happen to her if she gets too close to Hop's truck. From the glint in Hop's eye, he knows it too. Heather looks hurt. Billy adds, "I...I'm <em> good</em>."</p><p>"Oh, okay. I...can't leave the pool unattended anyway," Heather sounds so apologetic. Billy wishes she'd just <em> go </em>already, "Sorry, Chief, I can find someone else to-"</p><p>"I <em> said </em>I'm good," Billy snaps, fed up. He shakes off Hop's hand, stands quickly. Then to his shame and embarrassment, he scrubs the back of his hand across his eyes, "Are we done here? Can I get back to work now?"</p><p>Hop stands too. Then he steps back, sighs in a long-suffering way, and shrugs. "I won't stop you," he meets Billy's eyes meaningfully, "We'll pick up where we left off later."</p><p>Billy shoves past Hop, "Whatever."</p><p>Billy climbs the lifeguard's chair, right in the middle of the pool area, surrounded by people, and stays there. His hands are shaking. Billy grips the arm rests to make them stop. There are two fresh scrapes on his knees. Billy doesn't look at them, just closes his eyes and rests his head back into the seat behind him. He knows he narrowly escaped what Hop had planned for him just now but Billy has a hard time feeling good about it. He knows too well how avoiding what's coming can bite you in the ass.</p><p>He thinks about the time he stayed at a friend's house once, when his dad told him he was going to punish him after he got home from work. Billy hadn't been punished that night. Him and his friends smoked a joint and went to see some dumb flick he didn’t even remember now. The next day his dad was so mad, grabbed Billy so hard, he'd broken his wrist. Billy clenches a fist in his left hand. He tries to ignore the phantom pain and voice in his head telling him he's just made everything so much worse. </p><p>He can't.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billy avoids Heather the rest of their shift and leaves the moment it's over without saying goodbye. He doesn't want to see her. Tommy and Carol come to the pool in the afternoon and they invite Billy to a party. He jumps at the chance. He just wants to get drunk and forget everything. Tommy and Carol are douchebags but they always make good on getting wasted and having fun. Tommy's driving and the two of them wait for Billy to get changed back into his clothes. He doesn't waste any time, pulling on his jeans and throwing on his leather jacket over his sleeveless shirt.</p><p>Billy gets <em> plastered. </em></p><p>From the moment he steps through the door to Tommy's place, he finds the nearest alcohol and downs it. One of Carol's friends, <em> Tina </em> Billy thinks, asks if he should be drinking after getting in a car accident. Billy just laughs her off. The others don't care enough to wonder what, exactly, Billy thinks is so funny about it. The <em> accident </em> barely hurt him at all. He's taken worse hits from Neil in a good mood. Billy thinks about telling Tina that some psycho cop is out there with a hard on for him and he's probably going to <em> die </em>but Billy throws back two fingers of whiskey instead. Neil drinks Irish whiskey. Tommy's dad is, apparently, a bourbon man.</p><p>Billy can barely walk straight. His boots keep tripping over themselves while he staggers down the road. His original plan had been to crash at Tommy's but that went out the window when he'd punched Tommy's lights out. Billy can't remember now what Tommy had said that set him off. Billy thinks it doesn't even matter. He had been itching for a fight since he started drinking. Bourbon does that to him even on good days. Today had not been a good day. Tommy's place isn't too far from his own house and Billy knows how to sneak into his bedroom window completely wasted, hasn't gotten caught doing it since he was fifteen.</p><p>The street ahead is dark and empty. Trees line either side. The road is the fastest way to get from the nicer part of town up in the hills where rich kids like Tommy live to the crappier part where Billy's house is. Billy finds a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and remembers he was holding them for Carol. Sucks to be her. He taps out a Virginia Slim and sticks it between his lips. While Billy is patting down his pockets looking for his lighter, a car drives past. He is just about to strike his lighter up when brakes squeal and rubber burns behind him. The cigarette drops from his mouth when Billy whirls around.</p><p>Of course. Of fucking course. Of all the places, of all the times, Hop has to be driving on this road right now. Billy sees the truck doing a u-turn and does the only thing his drunken mind can think of. Billy <em> runs. </em> He takes off as fast as he can into the woods. There's a thousand reasons why it's a bad idea but at that moment, Billy can't think of one. He hears the truck screech to a halt, hears a car door slam. Billy ducks behind a tree, squats down to hide. Running through the trees makes too much noise. If he can hide for long enough, maybe Hop will give up and leave.</p><p>Billy hears boots crunching through the leaves behind him. His heart is racing. It makes him breathe fast. Billy covers his mouth with his hands. He's being so quiet. There's no way Hop can hear him over the sound he's making, stomping through the brush, snapping twigs and crunching leaves. Billy sits dead still and waits. Hop stops. After a second, panic lances through Billy's veins. He can't hear Hop anymore, doesn't know where he is. Suddenly a gun cocks and Billy <em> fucking </em>gasps. The sound shocks him so bad the noise is out before he can stop himself.</p><p>"There you are," Hop growls from over Billy’s shoulder.</p><p>Billy startles, shooting to his feet. He tries to flee but Hop grabs him by the neck of his jacket. He jerks Billy back. Billy thunks into the tree behind him as Hop comes around his front.</p><p>"Where do you think you're going?" Hop gets up in Billy’s face and Billy’s senses are flooded with the stench of wine. Hop's not in his uniform. He's wearing a nice shirt. He looks furious. He's <em>drunk</em>, "I thought we had come to a pretty clear understanding earlier today."</p><p>Billy feels something cold and metal against his collarbone and his entire body goes rigid. A gun. There's a fucking <em> gun</em>--it moves up, pokes too hard into a bruise on Billy’s throat. When it stops under Billy’s chin Billy sucks in a short breath.</p><p>"You're not a <em> liar</em>, are you?" Hop growls but Billy's having a hard time focusing. His heart is beating so hard his ears are ringing. Holy fuck. Hop's going to <em> shoot </em>him in the fucking face--"You don't say you'll do something but not follow through, do you, Billy?"</p><p>"N-no," Billy stutters for a second, "No, sir."</p><p>"Prove it," Hop orders.</p><p>Billy drops to his knees. His hands are shaking so bad he's struggling to open Hop's pants. The gun slides along his forehead, right across his healing wound, and pushes a stray piece of hair behind his ear. Billy winces, tries not to jerk away. He doesn't want to set Hop off. Even in the darkness, Billy can see the man's unstable. Billy doesn't want to get his brains blown out. So if he has to blow the man instead, Billy will.</p><p>He's never sucked a dick before. Girls have gone down on him but that doesn't exactly make Billy an expert. Billy gets Hop's cock out of his pants, grips it, hesitates. Hop rests his gun flat across the top of Billy's shoulder and Billy stops hesitating. He leans forward and sucks the head of Hop's stiffening length into his mouth. Immediately, Billy gags. It's not really the taste; it doesn't taste like anything but skin and sweat, but Billy feels queasy anyway. The thought of having a cock in his mouth makes Billy sick.</p><p>Hop's free hand grips Billy by his hair. Billy feels the threat in it even if Hop isn't jerking his head around or pulling on it. So Billy tries again. He gets Hop's dick back in his mouth and doesn't let his disgust stop him this time. He swallows around it uncertainly. The fleshy tip drags along the roof of Billy’s mouth. Billy remembers a trick this chick back in California with a tongue piercing had used and tries it. He slides his tongue up the bottom of Hop's cock, creating suction against the roof of his mouth. Hop groans, tips his head back. Billy does it again only this time he pumps the base of Hop's dick with his hand too.</p><p>Billy's drunk but a gun in the face can be sobering. He's glad he can figure out that the faster he gets this done, the better. Drunk Billy would normally try and fight his way out of this. He's never been so happy for Tommy and his stupid, punchable face. If Billy hadn't taken his violent anger out on the man earlier, he'd probably be getting shot in the head right about now. </p><p>Billy works his hand faster, bobs his head. Hop’s a grower, Billy realizes with a sickening shudder. As Hop’s cock gets hard, swells, Billy’s jaw starts to ache. It’s a lot. Billy is surprised he can fit only half the length in his mouth. When he comes forward, Hop rocks his hips up. The blunt head of his cock bumps into the back of Billy’s throat, hits his uvula. Billy chokes but when he tries to pull away, Hop holds him in place with a fierce grip in his hair. Saliva pools in Billy’s mouth as he gags, some of it slips out down his chin. Billy’s free hand scrambles up, tangling into Hop’s slacks on his thigh, trying to push him back. Hop just laughs down at him.</p><p>Then Hop is jerking Billy back, off his cock. Billy gasps, coughing through his suddenly empty throat. Billy is breathless, panting, and he feels how wet and drippy his mouth is. When Billy tries to wipe it away, Hop stops him.</p><p>“Don’t,” Hop growls and Billy freezes. When Billy’s tongue darts out to lick at his wet bottom lip, Hop smirks, “Always knew you’d be good at this. Way you run your mouth all the time, it’s like you're <em> begging </em> someone to come along and <em> shut you up</em>.”</p><p>Billy grunts when Hop shoves him, his back thunking into the tree behind. Hop forces Billy’s head back too, until it’s pressed against the trunk as well. Billy watches with wide eyes as Hop drags his pistol barrel down Billy’s cheek. Down, down. The cold steel touches Billy’s slick lips and Billy snaps his jaw shut. His nostrils flare as Billy’s heart pumps wildly in his chest.</p><p>“Open up,” Hop says and his voice is almost <em> flirty</em>. It makes Billy shiver, “Come on now.”</p><p>Billy can’t. His body is tensed up so tight. His eyes flick up to Hop’s and when they do, tears fall down his cheeks. Hop is watching him, waiting. He swallows thickly.  Billy sucks in an unsteady breath through his nose. Then he unclenches his teeth, parts shaky lips. He can’t bring himself to open wide, say fucking <em> ahh </em> or something, but it doesn’t matter. Hop takes advantage of his reluctant submission and pushes the barrel into Billy’s mouth.</p><p>The metal is shockingly cold. When it clacks against his teeth, Billy flinches. He doesn't know what he's expecting, if he thinks Hop is going to fuck his mouth with the gun or something, but he doesn't. Hop pushes the pistol in and in until the end of the barrel bumps into the soft flesh at the back of Billy's mouth. Billy swallows around it reflexively and feels like the weapon is already bruising his soft palette. Billy is buzzing with panic and dread.</p><p>"I could kill you," Hop says breezily. Billy breathes wildly around the gun in his mouth. He's so terrified. The trigger is <em> right there</em>--"No one would ever find your body."</p><p>Hop fingers the trigger. Billy feels light and dizzy with fear. The gun is heavy on his tongue. The pistol is so close to him, Billy can hear when Hop's fingers tighten around the grip. Then Hop pulls his gun out of Billy's mouth, leaving behind a trail of spit and the taste of metal.</p><p>"But I won't," Hop makes Billy look up, so he meets older man’s gaze, "You get it? I keep you around because <em> I </em> want you. Don't forget that's why you're still alive. You do anything to change my mind and I'll kill you. Nothing will get in my way of me getting what I want. Do you get that?" Hop jerks Billy's hair to get his attention, "I <em> will </em>kill, Billy."</p><p>Billy nods. At once, he feels weirdly like he doesn't feel anything at all. Adrenaline courses through his body but his fight or flight reflex isn't there. Billy just stays still. When Hop holds his head in place and guides his cock to Billy’s mouth, Billy accepts it. The hot flesh of Hop's thick cock is better than a fully loaded gun in a caliber big enough to blast his face off. Billy still gags when Hop's cock slides down his tongue but he tries to swallow around it. His head is pinned against the tree so Billy can't do anything but keep his mouth open and try to breathe when Hop starts fucking his face.</p><p>Hop rocks his hips back and forth like he doesn't care if he hits Billy's teeth. When his cock collides with Billy’s throat at an angle that's all wrong, it doesn't slow Hop down. Even when Billy gags and coughs and chokes, spitting up thick saliva and coating Hop's cock until it's sloppy with it, Hop just moans and goes harder. Billy’s throat stretches when Hop forces his cock in and it hurts. Billy's hands clench into fists but he keeps them in his own lap so he doesn't try to fight. </p><p>The noises he's making are <em> vulgar. </em> He heaves and gulps, his throat makes wet, choked off noises every time Hop fucks into it. As Hop goes faster, Billy gets louder. He starts squirming in place, trying to catch his breath around the assault in his mouth but failing. Hop's thrusts become more erratic, his balls slap Billy’s chin, his pubic bone is going to bruise Billy’s face. Billy's spit slicks up everything. Hop suddenly shoves his cock all the way in, until he's buried in Billy's mouth. His throat spasms in pain against the unwelcome intrusion and Billy’s whole body jerks. He's not fighting but his body is trying to move away on its own.</p><p>"That's it," Hop moans, panting, "Take it."</p><p>When Hop's cock jerks in his mouth, Billy isn't prepared for what follows. Hot, salty semen erupts from the tip of Hop's dick where it's shoved down Billy’s throat. Billy chokes. His eyes water. His whole body heaves. Hop rolls his hips as he finishes, his cock twitching a couple more times as it spills the rest of his load. Billy fights, trying to get away from the cum in his own mouth. It spills past Hop's cock and down Billy's chin with a particularly violent gag. The second Hop pulls out, Billy spits and sputters, hacking up the man’s jizz all over Hop's boots. Some splashes down Billy's lips and chin as he gasps for air. Before he can wipe it off, Hop grabs him by the collar of his jacket and hauls Billy to his feet.</p><p>Billy is still trying to catch his breath. His throat hurts so bad Billy's not sure he can talk. He doesn't look up, eyelashes flat against his cheeks as he reels himself in. He flinches when a big, rough thumb wipes the cum off his cheek. Moving down, it cleans it off his chin as well, slides up to his lips, and stops.</p><p>"Good boys swallow, Billy," Hop slips his thumb into Billy’s mouth. </p><p>Billy cries as he sucks the cum off of Hop's finger. He swallows with an aching throat. Hop cups his cheek after. When Hop leans closer, Billy is terrified the man's about to kiss him. Somehow the thought of Hop doing something so intimate makes Billy’s stomach roll. Even though Billy just slobbered all over the man's cock, he thinks if Hop kisses him now, he'll throw up. Instead, Hop kisses his cheek, real soft and gentle. His hand is massaging the aching joint of Billy's sore jaw. Tears well up and spill through Billy's eyelashes and he doesn't even know why. Hop rubs them away like no one ever has for him before.</p><p>"You did so good," Hop says to him, whispers it soothingly like Billy needs to be <em> reassured </em>or something, "You were perfect for me, Billy."</p><p>Billy's body hurts. He's still sore from the night before. His headache hasn't gone away. Now his throat hurts as much on the inside as it does where bruises ring his neck on the outside. There's a bruise swelling on the roof of his mouth and Billy doesn't know if it's from Hop's <em> cock </em> or his <em> gun </em> . It hurts the most inside his chest though, where his heart is hammering away. Billy knows that swooping, stomach churning ache isn't from any wounds. At least. Not any <em> physical </em>wounds.</p><p>"Come on then," Hop sighs and steps back, fixes his clothes, "I'll give you a ride home. You shouldn't be walking these roads alone at night. They aren't safe."</p><p>There's an acidic call out on the tip of Billy's tongue. He <em> knows</em>. Hop's made sure of that. Instead what Billy says surprises himself.</p><p>"No, my dad-" he stops short, snaps his mouth shut, horrified.</p><p>Hop gives him a knowing look but doesn't press him, "Alright. I'll drop you off a block from your place."</p><p>Billy doesn't think he's allowed to say no. Hop still has his gun, even though he's tucking it away in the waistband of his pants. He just nods and lets Hop steer him out of the woods. Billy gets in Hop's truck without Hop saying anything. He slams the door shut. When he doesn't buckle up, Hop doesn't make him. Billy kind of hopes they crash so he can go flying through the windshield. A kid he knew died like that once. Everyone said he was dead before he hit the ground twenty feet in front of the car and smashed his shit all up. Billy thinks that sounds better than getting shot execution style for not wanting to suck dick.</p><p>True to his word, Hop parks to drop Billy off down the road from his house. Billy doesn't say anything, doesn't even look at the other man, as he opens the door to get out. Hop grabs him by the elbow and jerks Billy to a stop. Billy still doesn't turn his way. Hop doesn't force him. Instead Hop leans into him from across the seat. Billy shivers when Hop smells at his hair, down the nape of his neck.</p><p>"I should keep you," Hop growls, "Use you whenever I want."</p><p>When his grip loosens, Billy shakes Hop off and scrambles out of his truck. He slams the door before Hop can say any more creepy shit. Billy stumbles over his feet in his rush to get home. He can't remember a time he's ever been so eager to be in a house with <em> Neil Hargrove</em>. Right now, Billy would take getting slapped by his asshole dad over getting perved on by that fucking cop. Billy slows down when he gets close. He's really quiet when he sneaks around to his bedroom window. Just because he'll take his dad's company over Hop's doesn't mean he <em> wants </em>to get caught sneaking in drunk.</p><p>Nothing goes wrong. Billy gets in through his window and closes it behind himself without making a sound. Being in his bedroom has never felt so fucking good. Billy kicks his boots off. He wants to take a thousand showers but knows better than to chance it. Walking to his closet, Billy glances at himself in the mirror. There's cum on his shirt. On the front of his black tee is a dried splash of fucking <em> jizz</em>. Billy just kind of...crumbles. As he pulls his jacket and top off, Billy sinks to the floor. A sob leaves him before he's even aware that he's crying. He smothers his mouth to make as little sound as possible and weeps.</p><p>Fuck, crying hurts Billy’s throat. Billy just wants to stop hurting. He feels so disgusting and so, so, <em> so </em>fucking tired. Billy's laying on the floor trying to cry as quietly as possible when he finally falls asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Billy drags himself up in the morning, he immediately heads across the hall to the bathroom. He takes a shower, washes while he's still blinking sleep from his eyes. Then he just stands under the hot water, soaking it up. Even though he fell asleep on the floor, Billy crawled into bed at some point. He's still stiff though. In the warm steam and water, Billy feels like the world outside the shower doesn't exist. But he knows better than to use all the hot water. So he cuts his shower short. Billy wraps a towel around his waist. He dries off his hair and then drapes his towel over his shoulders. When he steps out of the bathroom, Billy stops short.</p><p>A girl is standing in front of the bathroom door. Billy blinks. She is wearing pajamas and her hair is straight brown, hanging just above her shoulders. She's just staring at him.</p><p>"Uh, who the he-<em>heck </em> are you?" Billy asks abruptly.</p><p>"Okay?" she asks in return. Then she points at him, right at his neck, "Hurt."</p><p>Billy flushes, "What? No, I'm fine. Who are you, kid?"</p><p>"El!" Max calls out and both Billy and the strange girl turn toward her as she comes out of her room, "Oh. Hi, Billy. Come on, El, I found the next issue. Let's read it!"</p><p>El, apparently, seems to hesitate, "Is Billy hurt? Crying means you're hurt."</p><p>"Crying? I wasn't-" Billy stammers, unusually off kilter. The girl throws him for a loop. He suddenly worries she heard him last night or something, "I'm fine!"</p><p>Max scrunches her face up, "You sure? You look like <em> crap</em>."</p><p>"Just beat it!" Billy snaps, "Keep your retard friend out of my face."</p><p>"Don't talk to her like that!" Max shouts back, grabbing El by her wrist and pulling her away from Billy.</p><p>"Billy!" Neil calls out from the living room and Billy goes rigid, "Be nice to your sister!"</p><p>"<em>Sorry</em>," he snarls at Max then smiles at El with all of his teeth, "So <em> nice </em>to meet you."</p><p>Then he shoves past them and goes to his room to get dressed. Billy debates camping out in his room all morning but he's starving. He throws on some jeans and a blue button down then heads out to the kitchen. He doesn't dare look up at Neil while he passes, hoping the man will ignore him. Billy gets a glass of water and a banana. While he's looking for something more substantial to eat, the phone rings. He answers it before Neil can yell at him to do it.</p><p>"Is Billy there?" the voice on the line asks. It's his boss.</p><p>"Yeah, it's me," Billy chews another bite, "What's up?"</p><p>"Can you come into work today?" his boss sounds annoyed, "Heather never showed and if you don't come in <em> I </em>have to do it."</p><p>Billy’s going to tell the man to stuff it when he hears Max fucking <em> giggle </em>from the other room. His dad is drinking a beer already. Billy decides he'd rather work than be here. Plus he knows better now. He'll be sure to stay in the crowds.</p><p>"Yeah, fine, whatever," Billy could only get halfway through his banana before the ache in his throat makes him sick. He throws it down into the bottom of the trash so his dad won't see, "I'll be there in thirty."</p><p>"Thanks," his boss sighs, "You're a lifesaver, Billy."</p><p>"You owe me," he says then hangs up.</p><p>Billy tries to get his keys back from his dad but Neil refuses. He stands, tells Billy to get his coat, and grabs his own keys. Shit. Billy had wanted to go to work to get <em> away </em> from Neil. When his dad barks at him to get a move on, Billy does. He rushes to his room and grabs a jean jacket off a hanger in his closet. His leather one is still a rumpled mess on the floor. Billy only takes a minute and in that time, Neil has a coat on and is waiting for him. He looks unhappy. Not that Neil ever looks <em> happy </em>but. Billy knows that look. Can't he catch a fucking break?</p><p>Neil doesn't say a word to him as he drives Billy to work. He pulls into the parking lot and puts the car in park. Billy has been waiting for it but it still hurts when his dad hits him across the face. The sound of the blow cracks through the car. Billy's head snaps to the side. The cut on his lip bursts back open, Neil's class ring cuts Billy's cheekbone. Billy knows better than to do anything but sit still and wait. Neil tears into him about staying out late, about picking up an extra shift without thinking ahead. Tells Billy he's <em> stupid </em> and <em> worthless </em> and <em> good-for-nothing </em> like Billy hasn't heard the same thing everyday since he was <em> six </em>. Finally he tells Billy to get out of his sight. Billy happily obliges.</p><p>Billy's genius plan to stay out by the pool all day falls through when the skies open up in a torrential downpour. It's the thunder and lightning that means they have to kick everyone out of the pool though. Then it's just him and Trish, loitering around the front desk. They can't leave because they, apparently, need to stand around and tell people it's a stupid fucking idea to go swimming in a thunderstorm. The air is the wrong combination of muggy and cool. His trunks aren't quite warm enough but the wet air makes his white lifeguard t-shirt stick to him uncomfortably.</p><p>Trish is smacking her gum, sitting on the desk and reading some fashion magazine. Billy's in the chair next to her, trying not to get mad. With mixed success. He's never had a problem with his coworkers and most of the time he likes Trish. She's a flirt, like him, but he can tell she never really means it. Sometimes, he thinks he sees her checking out the row of hot moms while they're checking <em> him </em>out. But he's probably wrong. She's dating their boss anyway. Most of the time, she slacks off because she can get away with it. But it's not like there's a lot to do so Billy doesn't really care. Today being stuck at the desk with just the sound of her popping gum and the heavy rainfall against the pool outside is getting on Billy's nerves.</p><p>So, of course, Max shows up. Billy can't get away. Billy's just debating a nap when he hears the wet slaps of approaching feet. Max and her weird friend run around the corner, wearing matching fucking raincoats. Resentment flares through him before he can help it. He's never owned a raincoat in his life, let alone a matching set. His dad always tells him to man up. <em> It's just water, boy, don't be a pussy. </em> Which never helped when he was stuck at school wearing damp clothes all day.</p><p>"Where’s Heather?" El asks and Billy wonders if they maybe know each other. It's a small town so he guesses that probably happens a lot.</p><p>"She's a no show," Trish drawls.</p><p>Billy grins, "That's why I'm here. Spending my day off telling brats like you the pool is closed."</p><p>Max just scoffs at him, "We're not here to go swimming."</p><p>Billy frowns, "Then why the hell <em> are </em> you here?" El is staring at him. Jesus, that gets really old. Her eyes are glued to him but her attention isn't like what he's used to. She doesn't look <em> infatuated </em>she looks like she's trying to blow his head up with her mind, "Can I help you?"</p><p>Her jaw clenches. "You're hurt more," she says, poking her own cheek where Billy has a new cut.</p><p>Billy startles. Max's eyes are drawn to his face and he sees her look at the cut on his cheek, his busted up lip. Trish isn't popping her gum anymore. Billy rolls his eyes even though his heart is racing.</p><p>"You're a weirdo," he tells her, "Max, the hell are you hanging out with this creepy chick for?"</p><p>"El isn't creepy," Max folds her arms across her chest, "And she's right. You didn't have that this morning."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So," Max makes sure she's looking in his eyes. Something is weird about her, Billy realizes. She kind of looks...worried, "Did Neil hit-?"</p><p>Billy's hand slams down on the desk and everyone jumps. "<em>Shut up</em>," he growls, heart racing. Neil has a lot of rules but Billy is very familiar with the biggest one. Don't tell. If Max hears Neil yelling at him or pushing him around at night, then that's different. <em> That </em>isn't Billy's fault, "Get out of here. The pool's fucking closed."</p><p>"Billy-" Max starts.</p><p>Billy stands and Max flinches, "<em>Leave</em>."</p><p>Max and her creepy, little friend do just that. Billy's pissed. He storms out of the office and tells Trish he needs a smoke. She just hums noncommittally, smacking her gum some more. He grabs a cigarette and his lighter out of his locker. He moves to the back parking lot, on the other side of the building, so he doesn't have to listen to Trish anymore.</p><p>As he puffs away, Billy wonders why Max had even asked. She hates him. He hates her too. That's their <em>thing</em>. Billy remembers Max slamming a baseball bat with nails in it down into the floor inches away from his balls. He has no doubt she would have clobbered his family jewels. So he doesn't get why she suddenly cares. His cigarette burns his finger before he realizes he's smoked it down to the butt. He flicks it away, then scrubs his hands through his hair and down over his face. It's kind of funny that the only person who cares enough to ask is a kid who can't do anything anyway. Not that Billy wants people asking.</p><p>The rest of the day drags on. At the end of his shift, Billy gets dressed while Trish mans the desk. He wishes he had a raincoat but instead all he has is a denim jacket. Rain's going to soak into that and leave it damp for hours. He hopes he doesn't have to walk home but deep down he knows Neil isn't coming to pick him up. Walking home in the rain is just another part of his punishment. When Billy leaves the locker room, he hears that Trish is talking to someone. At first he thinks maybe it's Max again and he huffs irritably as he rounds the corner back to the front office. Then his stomach drops. Oh. Billy really can't catch a break today.</p><p>"Oh my god!" Trish says, sounding a little urgent, "Billy, Heather's missing!"</p><p>"Now, we don't want to jump to any conclusions," Hop says, "Her parents said she had to work today."</p><p>"Yeah, she was a no call, no show," Trish explains, "Billy's covering her shift."</p><p>"Is that right?" Hop glances his way, face serious.</p><p>"Here, Billy, you talk to him so I can go get changed," Trish hops down and heads around him toward the locker room.</p><p>Billy thinks he should feel afraid instead he feels frustrated. Frustrated and fucking tired.</p><p>"Have you seen Heather today? Heard from her at all?" Hop asks, all business. Billy is surprised Hop isn't trying anything.</p><p>Billy shrugs, "No. I've been here all day, haven't seen or heard a thing."</p><p>Hop nods. He has a little notepad in his hand, scribbles something down, "That's what Patricia said too.”</p><p>"Is Heather really missing?" Billy thinks about Heather's big hazel eyes and her compassionate nature. If the Chief of Police is capable of the awful things he's done to Billy then Billy doesn't want to think about what the other backwater freaks in this town are capable of doing to someone like Heather.</p><p>Hop sighs, "She didn't come home last night and her parents, of course, think she's been abducted. But Heather's nearly eighteen. It ain't unheard of for someone her age to stay out overnight. We're trying to remain optimistic."</p><p>"Right," Billy still can't shake the feeling something is very wrong, "I'm sure she'll turn up."</p><p>Trish returns and they close down the pool. Billy watches her leave and then he's alone with Hop. Billy's really tired. If Hop keeps him out too late then Neil's going to be pissed. Billy just can't win.</p><p>"Come on," Hop says. They both knew it was coming, "I'll give you a ride."</p><p>Billy storms across the parking lot, boots splashing. He climbs into Hop's truck, sits, and shakes the rain out of his hair. Hop joins him, running a hand through his own wet locks. When Hop starts the truck, Billy immediately reaches over and flicks the radio on. Some rockabilly shit is playing but Billy doesn't care. He only turned it on to piss Hop off. Hop doesn't seem to mind though, just taps his fingers along to the beat. Billy sighs and rests his head against the window as Hop drives them away from the pool.</p><p>Billy's kind of dozing off when Hop parks his truck and gets out. He taps the window and motions for Billy to get out too. Billy doesn't. He wants to tell Hop to fuck off, wants to beat the shit out of him, wants to get punched in the face. He's craving violence. Hop glares at him. He stomps around to the passenger side and throws the door open. Billy is grinning when Hop drags him out by his arm. He's itching for a fight. Hop manhandles him around to the back of the vehicle. Billy struggles even though he knows he can't shake the older man off. Hop opens the back hatch and tailgate and suddenly Billy's not sure if he's angry or terrified.</p><p>"Let me go!" Billy shouts, trying to get Hop's hand off of him, "Get the fuck off me, you fucking <em> pig</em>!"</p><p>Hop turns on him, eyes burning. Billy lets out a startled huff when Hop ducks, grabbing Billy around his waist. He lifts Billy up and all but throws him into the truck bed. Billy gasps as his back slams into the hard surface below. Hop is on him in a second. He grabs Billy's wrists and pins them down. Billy kicks and struggles and shouts but Hop just settles on top of him and holds him down. Eventually all of that fight leaves him and Billy slumps against the floor, panting for air and trying to keep from crying already.</p><p>"What happened to your face?" Hop asks out of nowhere.</p><p>"What?” Billy lets out a shaky, disbelieving chuckle, “<em> You </em>happened, asshole."</p><p>Hop lets go of his wrist so he can touch Billy's fresh new cut everyone's so goddamn interested in. Billy winces. Hop growls low in the back of his throat.</p><p>"I didn't do that," he sounds angry.</p><p>Billy really doesn't get it, "Why the <em> fuck </em>do you care?"</p><p>"I don't like people touching what's mine," Hop explains easily like his words don't make Billy sick to his very soul, "Who did it? Were you fucking somebody else, Billy? Did you let someone other than me touch you?"</p><p>Billy's breath hitches in fear. Hop sounds <em> insane. </em>Shaking his head, Billy answers quickly, "No, I wasn't--fuck! It isn't like that!"</p><p>Hop snatches him by the front of his coat and Billy freezes, "You better not be lying to me."</p><p>"I'm not," he swallows nervously, "He barely even hit me."</p><p>Hop's anger only grows, "I should take you, keep you away from that shit."</p><p>When Hop ducks down, leaning toward him, Billy turns his head to the side. Hop kisses Billy under his ear, licking at the rainwater trailing down Billy's neck, and Billy flinches. Billy's about to clench his eyes shut when he spots something. Hop gets Billy's earring between his teeth and tugs. Billy jolts in shock as pleasure darts down his spine. At the same time Billy recognizes the thing that caught his eye. Sitting in the back of Hop's truck is a red, lifeguard's fanny pack. It's Heather's.</p><p>Suddenly, Billy remembers the last time he saw Heather. She had walked in on him and Hop. Billy hadn't left her alone in the showers with Hop. Had he? Billy is chilled to his bones. Hop's words from the night before replay in his mind. <em> Nothing will get in my way. I will kill. </em>There's no way. Hop nips at Billy’s jaw. Heather is fine. Hop turns Billy's head to face him. Only, Hop is the one who told him that. Hop drags his lips over Billy's chin. Holy shit, did Billy get Heather killed? Hop presses a kiss into Billy’s lips.</p><p>Billy jerks away. With a furious shout, Billy shoves Hop so suddenly and with enough force, the man is pushed off of him. Billy scrambles to get up. He manages to pick up Heather's fanny pack just before Hop grabs him again. Hop gets his arms around Billy's waist, hauling him up and back to him. Billy kicks his legs, fighting wildly. His arms are pinned in Hop's hold, his back is pressed to Hop's chest. He can feel when Hop growls in anger.</p><p>"What did you do to her!?" Billy screams, "Where is she!?"</p><p>Hop throws Billy to the floor of the truck bed again. Billy lands one his side with a grunt. Dread fills him as Billy watches Hop unbuckle his belt. Billy's still clutching Heather's bag in his hand. In a rush, Billy gets up to his knees. He can't get away though. Hop is blocking the only way out.</p><p>"Did you hurt her?" Billy demands, "Is she dead?" he's shouting, "Did you kill her because of <em> me</em>?"</p><p>Hop pounces on him. Billy cries out as he's tackled to the truck bed again. He doesn't stop fighting. He's screaming, punching and kicking. He hears Hop grunt when his foot gets the man in the gut. </p><p>"Fuck you!" Billy yells just before Hop raises his fist, "Let me go, you fucking-"</p><p>Billy's head snaps to the side when Hop punches him. The blow clocks him right in the temple. He's lights out before he hits the floor.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billy's aware of bits and pieces as time passes. The truck under him lurches to a stop. Then he's over someone's shoulder and being carried. Billy's arms are limp as his jacket and shirt come off. He's on his back on something soft. There's a click click click of metal. Twice. Billy isn't sure how long it's been before he finally comes to. His head is pounding. His vision is blurry. Billy groans as he wakes. Something is very wrong.</p><p>Billy lurches. He's laying on a bed in a room he doesn't recognize. His arms are up over his head, locked to the iron bedframe by a pair of handcuffs. He's naked. There's a gag duct taped into his mouth. All of that pales in comparison to the feeling of something moving inside of him. Hop is sitting on the bed, between Billy's legs. He's holding them up and open under Billy's knees. He thrusts into Billy again and it knocks a strangled cry out of Billy. It still hurts but it's different than the time before, not as bad. Billy feels slick and slimy. Hop's cock doesn't feel like it's tearing him apart.</p><p>Hop smiles at him when he realizes Billy's awake. Some fragile part of Billy feels like it's shattering. The reality of what's happening leaves Billy shaking and sweating. Hop is fucking him slowly, barely even pulling out at all, like he's savoring being sheathed in Billy’s body. Billy feels disoriented by all the things happening to him at once. Hop's cock is so big it knocks the air out of Billy's lungs. The room is warm but Billy's bare body feels cool. Goosebumps prickle across his skin. He's shivering but he doesn't know if he's just cold or so scared he's shaking. Outside, the thunderstorm rages.</p><p>"You made me very angry," Hop says and all of Billy's attention is drawn back to him, "I tried being reasonable. I thought we were on the same page."</p><p>He thrusts up, hard, and Billy makes a shocked, pained sound. Once Billy does, Hop keeps rocking into him with force like he's trying to make it hurt. It does. Billy grips at the iron rods of the bedframe. He just needs something to hold onto. Hop picks up his pace, going harder and faster.</p><p>"You just can't behave, can you?" Hop snarls.</p><p>When Hop pushes Billy's legs down toward his shoulders, Billy can't catch his breath. Then Hop draws all the way out and slams his hips forward. The force of his thrust makes Billy yelp into his gag. Hop does it again. Billy clenches his teeth into the fabric between them. It doesn't stop the whimpery, huffing noises escaping his throat and his nose. Every time Hop's thighs slap forcefully into Billy’s ass another choked grunt is knocked from him. Hop fucks him like he's beating him to a pulp. Billy's done that before, gotten some dumbass pinned beneath him and laid into him good until his bones were broken and Billy's knuckles were bloody. Hop isn't breaking his bones, but he is breaking something. </p><p>It feels like Hop fucks him for hours. He goes hard until Billy is a weeping, blubbering mess. Billy's body feels battered. His back and legs are strained. His head is throbbing so hard he can barely see straight. His ass feels like nothing but raw pain and agony. Billy sobs into his gag because he can't do anything else. He's panting through the fabric but his nose is running and he can't breathe. Tears are streaming down his temples, along his nose. He's dripping with sweat. Hop looks weirdly put together still. His hair is falling across his forehead but he's not sweating and flushed. He doesn't look tired. His eyes are cold and hard but they take in Billy's suffering with a pleased glint.</p><p>"Mmf!" Billy pleads but he can't speak. He knows he can't speak. He's so desperate for the pain to stop he has to do something.</p><p>"You have something to say?" Hop snaps his hips forward so hard Billy cries out into his gag. He nods his head frantically, tears dripping. Hop smirks, "Tough. I don't want to hear your voice. Just shut up and take it."</p><p>Billy tries again, begging Hop to stop even though all his words are muffled. He can't take it. Billy's going to die if Hop keeps going like this. Hop shoves his cock in deep and stops. It's almost a relief. He grabs Billy by his face hard enough to bruise.</p><p>"What did I just say?" he barks.</p><p>Billy blubbers pathetically into his gag.</p><p>Hop huffs impatiently before he rips the tape off and yanks the gag out of Billy’s mouth.</p><p>"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please!" Billy's voice sounds <em> wrecked, </em> "Please stop, please I'm so sorry. I'll be good, sir. Please!"</p><p>Hop just shoves the gag back into Billy’s mouth. When he starts fucking Billy once more, Hop does it even harder. Billy tucks his face up under his bicep and weeps. Hop fucks him until Billy feels like he's out of his mind. Part of Billy is afraid he's going to pass out. He slumps into the bed, tears still streaming but he's no longer wracked with sobs. After Hop's been going at him for so long, Billy's too exhausted to do anything but lay there and take it. Billy doesn't fight the whimpers Hop fucks out of him. Every thrust in forces a little pained noise from his throat and Hop seems to lavish in it.</p><p>"Yeah that's it," Hop sounds like he's praising him, "You can take it so well. Doesn't it feel better when you stop fighting?"</p><p>Billy clenches the tears out of his eyes. <em> No</em>, he thinks. His whole body is just one big mess of pain. Hop's left hand moves up Billy's thigh, then up his waist. The feeling of his fingers caressing Billy's tight abdomen muscles makes Billy twitch. He doesn't try to get away from the touch though. Hop groans low in the back of his throat. His hand slips up Billy's chest, catching one of his nipples. Billy jolts when Hop pinches it. The sound that leaves Billy's nose isn't from pain that time. Hop laughs at him. Then Hop's hands grab Billy by the tops of his thighs and he lays into him again.</p><p>Billy rocks up and down the bed as he's fucked. Hop's going hard but his pace is losing it's precision. His hips slap into Billy's ass over and over until suddenly Hop pulls out. Billy cries with relief when Hop jerks himself off onto Billy’s chest and stomach. Hop throws his head back with a loud, self-satisfied moan. His semen splatters over Billy’s heaving torso, mingling with Billy’s sweat. He rubs his cock until every last drop of his thick, white load is dripping over Billy. Billy is too tired to do so much as flinch when he feels the hot liquid on his cool skin like a brand. He glances down his body, watches as Hop's cum pools under his sternum, drips into his bellybutton. </p><p>"Jesus, that felt so good," Hop groans, rolling the tension from his neck and shoulders, his limp dick still in his hand, "Goddamn. I need a cigarette after that."</p><p>Billy watches as Hop tucks himself away. He climbs off of the bed, leaving Billy naked and covered in jizz. Hop is whistling when he walks around the bed and leaves Billy alone without looking back. There's a sheet over the doorway like a curtain and Hop disappears through it. Billy can hear him still whistling as he moves into some other room in the house. Billy's so exhausted he can't keep his eyes open, can't truly fathom the trouble he's in. Even though he's in agony and he's cold and he's sticky with some other dude's cum, Billy falls asleep to the sound of rain outside and Hop's muffled whistling.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billy jerks awake when he feels fingers on his face. His eyes shoot open and Billy instinctively shifts away. Hop is gentle, though, when he pushes Billy's sweaty hair off his forehead. The touch is tender. Hop is sitting on the bed next to Billy and the man looks sad and concerned. He shushes him when Billy whines in pain.</p><p>"God, look at you," Hop sighs like he's disappointed, "Why do you have to push me like that?"</p><p>Anger flashes through Billy like kerosene to an open flame. Billy can't tell if he's more mad at Hop or himself though. He knows he's a fuck up. His dad certainly thinks so. Hop does. Heather is probably dead, laying in the gutter somewhere, and it's Billy's fault. That should be him. His body. Heather never did anything wrong. Billy's the one who pissed Hop off because he just can't fucking <em> learn</em>.</p><p>"It's okay now," Hop cups the side of Billy's face, so soft it makes Billy shiver, "I'm not mad at you anymore. You took what you had coming like a champ. You did good."</p><p>Billy’s such a mess of aches and pains, of dried sweat and cum, of racing heartbeats and swimming thoughts, he can't bring himself to shake Hop's gentle touches off. He swallows but his throat is dry and sore. Hop has a washcloth and for a second Billy is afraid he's going to jam it into Billy's mouth with the gag. Instead, Hop wipes the sweat, tears, and snot from Billy's face. He does it really, really slow and soft. Affectionately. Billy trembles. His heart is racing with dread and anticipation for when it all goes south again.</p><p>Hop just keeps cleaning him off though. He's extra gentle when he moves over the cut on Billy’s cheek. It doesn't hurt even though Billy knows the area is bruised and sensitive. The cloth is warm and damp and soothing. Billy's eyes flutter shut and Hop presses the towel across his eyelids, wiping away his dried tears. Billy doesn't think anyone has ever done that for him before. His mom, maybe, when she was still alive but Billy doesn't think so. Hop is careful, takes his time. Once he's done with Billy’s face, he cleans down Billy's neck. Again, he's so gentle, the damp cloth doesn't even hurt the bruises on Billy's throat.</p><p>Billy is really shaking by the time Hop starts on his chest. He feels completely thrown off, he's wound tight waiting for the pain to come. Hop just shushes him again. The towel isn't warm anymore but the coolness feels good against Billy's aching chest. Hop wipes up Billy's stale sweat around his armpits, pectorals, down his ribs, his sides. Hop moves to Billy's chest again and stops to drag the cool, damp fabric over one of Billy’s nipples. Billy jumps. He's panting fast now, stressed, but there's something else too. After all the pain and agony Billy's been put through, the soft touches and clean water feel so <em> good</em>.</p><p>Hop slowly cleans up his own cum, like he's savoring it. His hand maybe shakes a little as it trails the cloth down Billy's sternum but Billy can't be sure. Hop stops to clean Billy's belly, thoroughly wiping his cum from every dip of Billy's abs and his navel. He continues down, over Billy’s happy trail even though Billy doesn't think any ejaculate landed there. Hop wipes the cool cloth across Billy's lower abdomen, hipbone to hipbone. Billy's heart rate jackrabbits. He's so sure Hop's going to touch him, <em> grope </em>him, but he doesn't. Hop pulls away, leaving Billy's skin chilled and prickling but clean in his wake.</p><p>Hop reaches for his face again and Billy flinches so hard he knocks his head into the metal bedframe. Hop just sighs as he patiently grips the gag between Billy’s teeth and pulls it out. Billy immediately gasps, savoring the unobstructed air even though his tongue and mouth are so dry they hurt. Hop gets a hand under Billy’s head and lifts it up. That's when Billy sees that he's holding a glass of water.</p><p>"Please," Billy begs even though his voice cracks</p><p>Hop brings the cup to Billy's parched lips and tells him, "Drink <em> slow</em>."</p><p>Billy nods. Yes, fine. He'll drink as slow as Hop wants as long as he's getting water. He's so thirsty Billy would do anything for a sip of the liquid in front of him. Hop carefully tips the cup while supporting Billy's head so Billy can drink. The water feels amazing in Billy's mouth and throat. He'd probably cry again if he didn't feel so wrung out. Hop's patient. He lets Billy drink the whole glass, stopping every time Billy needs a break. Once the water is gone, Hop rests Billy's head back down onto the bed. Hop takes the glass and leaves but he's only gone for a moment. He comes back to the bed, stands at Billy's side.</p><p>"Roll over," Hop tells him.</p><p>Billy really doesn't want to. He hesitates but Hop doesn't let him for long. He reaches down and guides Billy by the hips. Billy relents and rolls onto his stomach. His wrists are crossed now and the handcuffs pull tight against them. Billy's breathing fast. His heart is racing. He's so afraid of what's to come. Will it be better or worse like this? He feels so defenseless but he also doesn't have to look at Hop's face. The bed dips as Hop climbs over him. His big legs wedge between Billy’s knees and push Billy’s legs out and apart. Billy makes a horrified whimper before he can bury his face in the sheets.</p><p>"Shh, it's alright," Hop reassures, "Just relax."</p><p>When a warm, damp cloth caresses his shoulder, Billy's surprised. Hop must have rinsed the washcloth and ran it under warm water again. He starts at Billy’s shoulders and the back of his neck, wiping Billy clean once more. Billy shivers when the warm, moist fabric traces down his spine. The moment the heat leaves, a trail of cool follows. It feels good. Billy squirms. Hop lays a hand on his hip to steady him but it doesn’t grip him hard or force him down. As Hop moves the towel to his lower back, his thumb presses into the sore muscle beside Billy's spine, massaging it. Billy tenses and then against his will his whole body shudders as the tension is eased away. His back hurts but Hop rubbing at his muscles makes the pain ease. Hop stops at the start of Billy's tailbone.</p><p>When the hand on his hip moves down over his asscheek, Billy tenses up all over again. Hop shushes him once more. He pushes his cheek aside and carefully slides the cloth down over Billy's asshole. He doesn't linger, just cleans Billy's tender entrance and pulls away. The washcloth leaves him but Hop's touch does not. Hop's hand pets the flesh of Billy's ass, careful and light. His big thumb strokes along the curve of Billy's crack and lands where cheek meets thigh. Billy's holding his breath. He presses his forehead into the mattress, anticipating the worst, but a shocked little gasp is knocked from him when Hop's thumb massages him. He rubs away the aching tension in Billy's thigh just like he did his back. Only this time it feels good in a different way. Billy's breath hitches as Hop squeezes his asscheek, massaging the muscles of it in his massive palm. His thumb slides inward, massaging just inside the start of Billy's asscrack.</p><p>"Stop," Billy pleads suddenly, "Please, I don't-"</p><p>"Just relax," Hop demands even though Billy <em> can't</em>, "I'll be gentle."</p><p>Hop pries apart his ass again and the fingers of his free hand start at Billy's tailbone, moving down. They're slippery, Billy realizes suddenly. They glide down his asscrack with ease, stop at his asshole. Billy tenses, his throat seizes with fear. His hands over his head clench into fists. Hop doesn't shove his fingers up into him, doesn't force his way inside. Billy's confused and upset. Hop's hand squeezes his asscheek again but not hard or mean. His fingers rub little, slippery circles over Billy's hole, massaging it. It hurts but it doesn't hurt like it should. Billy shivers. His body relaxes involuntarily as if Hop is forcing the tension away with his tender touches. When one of Hop's fingers dips inside of him, Billy <em> moans</em>.</p><p>"There you go," Hop sounds so pleased, "Relax. You'll feel so good."</p><p>Billy is so tired of hurting. Tears swim in his eyes as arousal pools in his gut. Hop's finger slips past Billy's tight ring of muscle. He's sore but the pain is so easy to ignore when Hop keeps kneading his ass and thigh like he's working the ache away. His fingertip dips in and out of Billy’s asshole slowly, barely even moving at all. It's so wet, so easy for Hop to slip inside. There's no burn to accompany the stretch. Billy's is so fucking <em> tired </em>of pain. His breath shudders out of him as Billy relaxes even more. When Hop pushes his finger into him a little deeper he presses into something shocking.</p><p>Billy moans sharply. His legs bend at the knee, heels bumping Hop's hips, as he jumps in surprise. His dick twitches to life under him. Hop rubs the rough pad of his slicked up finger over that spot again and Billy jolts. A whine leaps from his throat. Hop chuckles heatedly above him. It feels so good that Billy's head spins. When Hop slides his finger out of him, Billy's hips follow before he realizes what he's doing. Hop squeezes his asscheek a little harder. Billy likes it. When Hop's fingers come back they're even more slick and cool. He presses two against Billy asshole this time, not quite entering but rubbing at the tight loop of muscle. They're so slippery and Billy’s so relaxed the digits slip inside him with no resistance.</p><p>Billy moans again, louder. His cock is getting hard. Billy knows he should be disgusted with himself. He is. It doesn't stop him from craving the escape from pain just a little longer. Both of Hop's fingers curl into his insides deeper. They find that spot that makes Billy see stars. Hop presses them down, rubs back and forth, pushing and releasing. Billy gasps, spreads his legs wider. He nudges his heels into Hop's back like it will make him keep going even though Hop doesn't seem like he's planning on stopping any time soon. Another finger presses at Billy’s hole and Billy shivers when it slips inside him too.</p><p>It's so much. The feeling of three, slick fingers moving inside him, stretching him open and loosening up his insides, is like nothing Billy's ever felt before. His cock is hard now, trapped between his body and the bed. If Billy moves just right, he can probably find the perfect amount of friction. His hips roll down into the quilt under him. Hop's fingers follow, pressing in even deeper when they do. He's gripping Billy's asscheek hard now, holding him open so he can really fuck Billy with his fingers. It feels so good. Billy thrusts into the blankets as Hop spears him open and he moans like a two cent whore while he does. Pleasure is building in his core, a bigger, deeper kind of climax than he's maybe ever felt before. Just before Billy reaches his orgasm, Hop yanks his fingers out. He lifts Billy up so he's on his knees, gripping the iron bedframe for dear life, and so painfully close to coming he wants to cry. Billy gasps in shock and loss.</p><p>"No, don't stop," Billy pants, "I'm so close, I'm almost there."</p><p>Hop loops an arm around Billy’s waist and pulls him back. Hop's slicked up cock follows the path of his fingers, sliding down Billy's asscrack and popping into his slippery asshole. Billy thinks it will hurt. It doesn't. His hands scramble to hold onto the bedframe as Billy is filled. Hop's cock is thicker than his fingers. It's just as wet but goes so much deeper. At this angle, with Billy practically in Hop's lap, back to chest, Hop's cock hits that spot his fingers toyed with in ways that make Billy's whole body light up. Billy trembles, chest tripping over a shuddery, desperate, little moan.</p><p>"That's it," Hop grips Billy by his hips, lifting him up just a little, almost a thrust, and pulling him back down. Billy groans and tips his head back, laying it on Hop's shoulder. Hop leans into Billy's neck, sucks in a deep breath of him, "Be good for me, Billy. It'll feel so amazing. Just give in to me."</p><p>Billy drops his head back down to hang between his shoulders. He's looking down at his own cock, achingly hard, furiously red with blood, leaking precum. Hop pushes him forward by his hips, pulls him back, thrusting into him. Billy groans. God, it feels so fucking good but Hop's cock isn't enough. Billy's hands jerk against the handcuffs as Hop fucks into him again, all slow and deep. His cock is so hard between his legs. With a heady gasp, Billy nods his head.</p><p>Hop bends over him until Billy can feel his chest hair against Billy's back. He pushes in deep, shoves his cock right into that spot that makes Billy's dick twitch helplessly, and stops. When he speaks, Hop presses his lips into the nape of Billy's neck, "Use your words, Billy."</p><p>"I'll be good," Billy says in a rush, desperate, "I will. Don't stop, I'm so close-"</p><p>Hop growls into Billy’s ear, "Then be good and beg me for it."</p><p>Billy's chest constricts but at the same time one of Hop's hands moves to his cock. His fingers tap against Billy’s painfully hard length before reaching down and gripping his balls. Billy's hips jerk but Hop holds him in place. Fuck, Billy feels so good he's high on it.</p><p>"Please, sir," Billy's voice shakes.</p><p>Hop massages Billy's balls in his hand, rolls his hips leisurely but his cock is deep enough it still knocks a desperate little moan from Billy's throat.</p><p>"Please what?" Hop gets Billy's earlobe between his lips, sucks on it. Billy is so sensitive there. It sends a ripple of pleasure through his whole body.</p><p>"Please make me cum, sir," Billy shocks himself when those words leave his mouth. Once they do a floodgate opens, "Please, I want to feel good. Make me feel good, sir, please."</p><p>"See? That wasn't so hard," Hop whispers it into Billy's ear, "Good boys get rewarded. I'm going to give you exactly what you want. You earned it."</p><p>Hop's hand grips Billy cock at the same time he sinks his teeth into Billy’s ear. He doesn't bite him hard, just nips at Billy's earring. It takes Billy's breath away. Hop's hand is still slick as he wraps his fingers around Billy’s cock firmly. Billy watches. Those were the same fingers Hop had put inside him, the same ones that made Billy see <em> stars</em>. Now they pump at Billy's cock so good it makes his thighs shake. Hop works his hand up and down, twists his wrist, runs his calloused palm over Billy’s sensitive cockhead. Billy moans.</p><p>Then Hop starts rocking his hips. The first time Hop pulls all the way out and thrusts back in with a hard snap of his hips, Billy cries out. His hands nearly slip off the frame holding him up. The way Hop's cock pummels into whatever the fuck is inside Billy that makes him squeal like that has Billy rattled. It never felt like this when Hop fucked him before. Billy feels overwhelmed by the cock inside, slamming into the spot that lights up fucking fireworks behind his eyelids, and the skilled hand working his cock. </p><p>Billy's being pushed and pulled toward his climax like he's caught in an undertow. He can't fight it. He's overwhelmed. Everyone knows when you're drowning, you can't help but gasp for air. You welcome in your own death. It's involuntary. Pleasure builds and builds in Billy's gut. Hop's cock pushes him closer, so close Billy's dizzy with it. His hand pumps Billy's cock like a blur. Billy's whole body is shaking, tingling. He's so close. He's winding up and up. Then Hop pulls him down onto his dick with a particularly hard thrust and Billy snaps. </p><p>He gasps. </p><p>His back arches before Billy jerks forward as his cock explodes in Hop's hand. Billy's ass spasms around Hop's thickness, hips rocking frantically. His cock jumps in Hop's grip, splashing his cum over Hop's fingers. Hop grabs Billy by the top of his shoulder, holding Billy down onto Hop's cock while he pumps Billy's twitching length. Billy's vision goes white. His whole body twitches. For a moment, Billy feels high on pleasure. </p><p>Then Hop keeps fucking him even though Billy already came. His hand doesn't stop stroking Billy's overly sensitive cock. All of that pleasure he was feeling before is suddenly way too much. Billy tries to pull away, gasping and groaning in discomfort.</p><p>"Come again," Hop orders.</p><p>"I <em> can't</em>," Billy's is shaking now, overstimulated so much it hurts, "Please, I really can't."</p><p>"Yeah, you can," Hop doesn't let up and Billy's stomach churns as a painful, blissful build up of pleasure starts to pool in him again, "That's it, I know you can do it."</p><p>Billy's eyes are wet with tears, sweat is making his hair sticky again. The hand on his cock still pumping him hurts but it sends chills of murky arousal up Billy's spine anyway. Billy uses his hold on the metal bedframe to push himself back, to fuck himself on Hop's dick. Billy moans, all shaky and fractured. This hurts but it's a different kind of pain. Billy likes this kind of pain. He likes it so much. Tears spill down his cheeks. His face is flushed with arousal. </p><p>Hop's arm wraps around Billy’s stomach, hugging him and forcing him down onto his cock at the same time. When Hop kisses at the corner of his jaw, Billy turns his face so he's kissing Billy's mouth instead. Hop moans his approval into Billy’s lips at the same time his tongue makes a dive for Billy's throat. Billy keeps his jaw slack, taking whatever Hop gives him. It feels so good. It fucking hurts but it feels so fucking <em> good. </em> Billy shudders. Hop swallows his lewd moans. When Hop speeds up his thrusts, Billy pushes himself back to meet Hop's hips with more force. Billy can't believe he's so close again. He feels like he's right there. He's so close he feels like weeping.</p><p>Billy breaks their kiss to suck in a frantic breath as he comes again. His whole body lurches, fingers and toes twitching and curling. He shoots his second load under Hop's skilled touch. His ass clenches up so hard it's painful, asshole fluttering around Hop's length again. Hop groans into Billy’s neck as he comes. His hips rock forward, slapping into Billy's ass erratically, before he buries his length inside. Billy gasps as Hop's cock twitches inside him. He feels Hop spill his load right up against the spot that makes Billy dizzy with arousal. Billy moans, desperately squeezing up around it, milking him for more. Finally releasing Billy's spent cock, Hop grabs Billy by both of his hips like he just needs something to hold onto. He rests his chin over Billy's shoulder. They're both panting, trying to catch their breath through the aftershocks of their orgasms.</p><p>Hop kisses his cheek and Billy feels it like a slap to the face. He jolts. Once the pleasure and arousal has cleared from his veins, once his mind is no longer high on endorphins, Billy realizes what he's done. It feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped over his head. His body is jittery and overstimulated. His skin feels stretched thin, like it doesn't fit right over his bones, and Billy is sick to his stomach. The feeling of Hop's cock inside him makes some sad, tragic part of Billy feel so pathetic, so <em> used</em>. When Hop reaches for his hands, Billy fucking jumps. Hop doesn't mention it, just caresses the purpling line of bruises circling Billy's wrists under the cuffs.</p><p>Hop slips out of him as he moves back. When Hop lets go of Billy's hip, Billy doesn't try to support himself. He slumps forward, sitting on his ankles and leaning his forehead into his restrained hands. Billy hiccups, trips over the tears clogging up his throat. His shoulders shake as he cries. Hop strokes his hair, petting Billy gently. It's fucked up that Billy hasn't felt so comforted since his mom died. He wants to tell Hop to fuck off but it feels <em> good </em>to be touched like this. Billy thinks maybe he hates himself more now than he ever has. That's really saying something.</p><p>Hop kisses the back of Billy's head in a gesture that feels way too paternal and gets up. Instead of watching Hop leave, Billy just cries into his bruised hands. He doesn't know what's worse, Hop taking him so violently Billy thought he was going to die or Hop fucking him so good Billy came twice. At least when Hop was hurting him, Billy didn't beg for it. Billy startles when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Hop guides him back, so Billy is sitting up. Then to Billy's utter shock, Hop unlocks his handcuffs. He lets Billy's left hand out then unhooks the cuffs from the bed. Even though Hop snaps it back around his wrist so he's still cuffed, Billy relishes being able to put his hands down.</p><p>"Come on. Up," Hop demands, not unkindly.</p><p>He grabs Billy by his elbow and lays a hand on his back. The older man is almost nice as he helps Billy to his feet. Billy stumbles a little as he stands. Part of Billy is scared that Hop's about to kill him, another just wants him to get it over with. Instead Hop guides him out of the room. It's dark outside and it's still raining but Billy has no idea what time it is or how long it's been. Hop takes him into a bathroom. There's a shower with a bathtub, a single sink counter, and a toilet in the small room. It's cluttered and messy. Billy doesn't miss that there's two toothbrushes, one's pink, there's a hairbrush that's blue with glitter in it, there's strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner. A yellow rubber ducky is staring at him from the edge of the tub. Billy feels fucking sick.</p><p>"Go ahead," Hop gestures to the bathroom at wide, "Freshen up and then we'll find you something to eat."</p><p>Now that he thinks about it, Billy is hungry even though he feels sick. He expects Hop to leave him to it but he doesn't. Hop just stands there and waits. Billy goes to the bathroom quickly. When he gets in the shower, Billy pulls the plastic curtain closed. Hop shoves it back open, metal hangers clacking loud enough to make Billy flinch. Billy just swallows his pride and turns the water on. He washes with the strawberry soap instead of the Irish Spring and he goes fast because he feels like Hop's eyes are boring into him. Hop hands him a towel after and Billy scrubs himself dry before Hop takes it and wraps it around Billy’s waist.</p><p>Billy chews the toasted waffles mechanically. No syrup is offered and Billy doesn't ask. They're still cold in the middle. Billy doesn't care. Hop gives him a big glass of apple juice to drink like he's a fucking <em> kid </em> . Billy secretly loves apple juice but right now he fucking hates it. Hop lets out a weary sigh from where he's leaning against the counter having a cup of coffee. Billy's ass hurts when he sits on the hard wooden chair at Hop's goddamn dinner table. The house looks pretty much exactly how Billy thinks it should. Except there are a pair of sneakers by the door that are kid sized. There's a girl's coat hanging over the back of the couch. He thinks of Heather. He thinks of <em> Max </em>out of nowhere. Hop making them do the awful things Billy has done. Billy stops eating, can't stomach anymore. He fucking hates it here.</p><p>Hop takes him back to the bedroom after. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls Billy between his thighs. When he pushes Billy down to his knees, Billy goes. Hop makes Billy do the work this time. He uses his hands more than his mouth but Hop doesn't complain. Billy leans back to take a breath, spit trailing from his lips to the head of Hop's cock. His hands keep stroking up and down, twisting and rubbing.</p><p>"What did we learn last time, Billy?" Hop asks. His hands are at his sides but his tone is so threatening Billy knows better than to drop his guard.</p><p>Billy stares at the precum beading up from the tip of Hop's swollen cock while he answers, voice flat, "Good boys swallow."</p><p>"That's right."</p><p>Hop doesn't make Billy do anything. Billy leans forward and takes Hop's cock into his mouth all on his own. His tongue swirls over the leaking slit on the tip while his hands pump up and down. Billy sucks. Even when Hop's cock jerks, even when bitter cum spurts into his mouth, Billy sucks. His throat protests when he tries to swallow down Hop's load. The taste is strong, all up and down his tongue like that, which makes it hard to choke down. Billy keeps trying until all of the cum in his mouth is gone. Hop relaxes like all of his troubles were sucked right out of him.</p><p>Hop rolls up onto his bed, lays flat on his back. Then he pats the spot next to him.</p><p>"Come here," he isn't asking.</p><p>Billy wants to keep him in good spirits so he does. Billy crawls onto the bed and lays down. He curls up on his side, his back to Hop. Immediately Hop shifts so he's lying against him, spooning him. Billy lifts his hands up by his head so he has something to hide his face in when Hop peels the towel off of him. One of Hop's arms gets under his side, wraps around his middle. The other rests on Billy's bare hip. His thumb rubs soft circles there while Hop kisses at the back of Billy neck.</p><p>"I knew you'd like this," Hop whispers to him at the same time his hands move. The one reaches for Billy's chest, the other cups his cock, "The way you dress, the way you flaunt yourself around," Hop twists Billy's nipple at the same time he wraps his fingers around Billy’s shaft. Billy gasps. Hop nips at his ear in that way that makes Billy's blood scream in his veins, "You were asking for it. You're always asking for it. I know you want this. Look at you."</p><p>Billy is panting already. His cock is getting hard. When Hop bites his ear, tugs on it, Billy shudders. The hand on his chest pinches and pulls. Billy hates himself for enjoying it. Maybe Hop has a point.</p><p>"You had to make it difficult though," Hop continues but his hands are doing more, distracting Billy, "You couldn't play by the rules," Hop sinks his teeth in harder that time. It hurts. Billy moans. When Hop speaks again, it's a heated whisper right in Billy's ear, "Your friend paid for that. I know you're mad at me but I <em> told </em> you what would happen. <em> You </em>didn't listen," Hop lifts his hand off Billy's swollen cock, spits in it, grabs Billy again. The glide is so much better. Billy is panting now. Hop keeps going, "It's your fault, Billy. If you had been good, she'd still be alive."</p><p>Billy knows that. He covers his face with his hands when he starts to cry. Hop doesn't let up. He tongues at Billy's earring, works his cock in exactly the way Billy loves, toys with his most sensitive parts and places. Billy can't stop his body from reacting.</p><p>"That's right. Let it go," Hop reassures, holds Billy closer to him as his hand moves faster, "I've got you now."</p><p>Billy comes with a sob, body shaking and heart feeling sick and heavy in his chest. Hop shushes him. Wipes his hand off on the blanket. Then he pulls Billy to him, so Billy's tucked under Hop's arm, laying on his chest and pressed into the bigger man's side. Hop holds him. He strokes Billy's hair. Kisses him on the top of the head. Tells him everything's going to be okay. Billy doesn't see how that's possible. He isn't okay and he doesn't think he ever will be.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hop is sleeping. Billy knows he is because he's snoring. He fell asleep holding Billy tightly to him. Billy couldn't. He still can't even though Hop has shifted away. Billy's staring at the door trying to talk himself out of, or into, making a break for it. His wrists are still in handcuffs but he's not tied to the bed anymore. His legs are free. All Billy has to do is get up and go. </p><p>But he can't. </p><p>He's terrified. Scared Hop will catch him and put him down like Heather. And scared Hop won't and no one will even care that Billy's been gone. He's afraid, too, that he'll be blamed for Heather's death. If he had just gone with Hop that day, when the cop had cornered him in the showers, Heather would still be alive. Isn't it his fault she's dead? There's also the fear that people will find out what Billy's done, that he's sucked a man off, he's let a man fuck him, he's <em> liked </em>it. If Neil ever finds out--Billy swallows thickly. At least if Hop kills him Billy won't be getting beaten to death by his own father.</p><p>Billy gets up, crawls out of the bed slow and quiet. Hop doesn't stir. He leaves the bedroom. Billy doesn't know why he goes for the phone, why he punches his number in, why he waits through the rings. He doesn't want to talk to Neil. And he certainly doesn't want to talk to <em> Susan</em>. Billy just. He just. He wants to hear someone, <em> anyone</em>, sound like they'll miss him when he's gone. Billy wishes he could tell someone this isn't what he wanted at all. The phone rings. Billy wants someone to answer. Anyone. Even--</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"<em>Max</em>," Billy gasps with so much relief it's choking.</p><p>"Billy?" Max sounds shocked, "Is that you?"</p><p>"It's not my fault," Billy needs her, someone, to understand. He's crying when he tells her, "It's not my fault, Max."</p><p>"What's not your fault, Billy?" she asks, tone oddly serious and voice shaky.</p><p>"I've done things, Max. Really-" he trips over the words, "--bad things. I didn't mean to," he needs her to know, "He made me do it."</p><p>Max is getting louder when she asks, "Who made you do it?"</p><p>"Please, Max," Billy begs, pleads. She's not getting it.</p><p>"What did he make you do?" her voice catches with emotion Billy's never heard from her before. Fear, yeah. But there's something else to it. She sounds scared, not <em> of </em> him but <em> for </em>him.</p><p>"It's not my fault, okay? Max, please," Billy sobs, "Please believe me, Max. I tried to stop him. I did. It should have been me. I'm so sorry it wasn't me," these feel like his final words, "Please believe me, Max."</p><p>"It's going to be okay, Billy," Max sounds so <em> sure </em>Billy really wishes he could believe her, "Where are you? We want to help you. Just--"</p><p>Billy doesn't hear what else Max says before his head is slammed forward into the wall. He drops the phone, shouting in shock and pain. Hop throws him down to the floor. Billy can hear Max yelling his name through the phone before Hop slams it back into the receiver and silences her. Billy's nose is bleeding, he can taste it in his mouth. Hop doesn't look at him as he grabs Billy by his hair and <em> drags </em>him across the floor. Billy scrambles, grabbing at Hop's hand, crying out in pain. He can't get his feet under him, he trips and stumbles.</p><p>Hop takes Billy, kicking and screaming, back to his bedroom. He tosses Billy onto the floor and Billy sprawls, he can't catch himself. Hop towers over him. For a second Billy sees that monster again. In the way Hop's face twists with vile fury. Billy swears he looks pale and sunken. Like he's some kind of demon. Hop grabs him by his handcuffed wrists and hauls Billy up to his knees.</p><p>"How does he do it?" Hop asks, voice terrifyingly even, "Your dad."</p><p>Billy is stunned, "What-?"</p><p>"When you're acting up and your dad can <em> stand </em>to look at you, what does he do?" Hop presses, voice calm but absolutely laced with venom, "He use a belt? Or does he stick to his fists?"</p><p>Billy feels so thrown. He flushes in shame and anger and fear. Clenches his jaw to keep from talking. He can't say it.</p><p>Hop backhands him so hard Billy is knocked to the floor. His nose explodes in fresh agony. Billy can't reel himself in before Hop grabs the handcuffs and drags him up again.</p><p>Hop gets in Billy’s face, growls, "He do it like that?"</p><p>Then he punches Billy right in his left eye. Billy's head jerks back before he goes sprawling. He knows it'll be a hell of a shiner by the lights flashing across his vision. Billy clenches his jaw to keep from making noise. Hop yanks him up by his cuffed wrists again, the metal is bruising his wrists ever deeper. This time, Billy wobbles when he's up on his knees.</p><p>"How about that, huh?" Hop grabs Billy by his hair, slaps him across the mouth, "What does it take to get through that thick skull of yours, kid? Should I beat you to a pulp? Break a couple ribs? Bend you over my knee and spank you? Should I be like your old man? Want me to tell you what a filthy little <em> queer </em> you are? Call you a faggot? What does he do to make you <em> fucking listen</em>?"</p><p>"Fuck you!" Billy shouts back. He tries to fight, shoves his bound hands into Hop's belly, "<em>Fuck you!</em>"</p><p>"Is that it?" Hop grabs the metal chain between Billy's hands again, "I thought you liked it when I was nice. Maybe you're just a <em> glutton </em> for <em> punishment</em>, huh?" he shakes Billy, "You want me to hurt you, is that it?"</p><p>Billy doesn't know. He tries to rip his arms away but can't. He snarls. There's blood in his mouth, painting his teeth red. Billy thinks he likes that better than Hop's cum. Hop drops Billy’s hands but only so he can hit him in the face again. Billy is knocked to the ground one more. He isn’t expecting it, though, when Hop kicks him in the ribs. Billy yelps. It only seems to fuel Hop more.</p><p>Hop lays into Billy with forceful blows. He kicks him over and over in the chest, the stomach. Billy curls into himself after a particularly hard hit that makes bile rise to the back of his throat. Hop kicks him again and Billy jerks, rolling to try and get away. Hop just kicks his back instead. He hits some sensitive spot in Billy’s lower back that makes Billy cry out.</p><p>“Stop!” Billy screams, “Just fucking <em> stop</em>!”</p><p>Hop growls and does. Then Billy hears Hop unbuckling his belt. Billy tries to push himself up on wobbly arms, he wants to get away even if he has to <em> crawl</em>, but Hop doesn’t let him. He steps on Billy’s back and shoves him back down to the floor. Billy is expecting pain but he’s still surprised when Hop brings his belt down on him. The stripe of leather lashes across his back with a resounding <em> crack</em>. </p><p>The sound snaps some sick fucking memory Billy didn’t even know he’d buried to the forefront of his mind. He’s thirteen. His mom’s dead. Neil is <em> drunk </em> and he smells like <em> schnapps. </em> He takes his belt to Billy for knocking his drink over with his elbow by accident. Billy had cried and his dad called him a faggot for the first time. Hop whips him, violently, over and over. Billy curls up on his side, protects his face with his arms, and tries not to think about Neil as he shakes with helpless fury.</p><p>Suddenly, Hop stops. Billy’s body is singing with sharp, burning pain. Welts are swelling, reddening, but it all just feels like hot agony. When Hop kicks Billy over onto his back, Billy spits up at him. He's shaking, small, scared, and so fucking <em> angry</em>. Hop doesn’t even wipe Billy’s saliva off of his shirt. He reaches down, grabs him, and drags Billy by his bound hands back to the bed. </p><p>"You want it to hurt so bad?" Hop throws Billy over the mattress. He lands with his knees on the floor, chest on the bed, bent over, "Fine. I'll make it <em> hurt</em>, boy."</p><p>"Fuck you!" Billy shouts again, tries to get up but Hop's already on him, shoving his bloody face back down into the blankets, "Get the fuck offa me!"</p><p>Hop bears down on the big hand he’s got over the back of Billy’s neck until Billy’s face is pressed into the mattress so hard he can barely breathe, “I’m going to break you.”</p><p>Billy’s wheezing so he can’t talk. His arms are stretched out over his head. He can’t bring them down, can’t get them under himself. Hop kicks his knees apart. Billy thinks if he could speak he’d tell Hop that’s never going to happen. He wants to believe it, too.</p><p>Hop grips Billy's asscheek and pries him open. It's disgusting when he spits onto Billy's asshole. Billy thrashes against Hop's hold. The older man's cock shoves at him, bumping into Billy's balls. Billy's tense, fighting, so when Hop gets his cock up to his asshole, it's tight and unyielding. Hop enters him with force, sinking all the way in with one sharp thrust. Billy goes stiff, shrieking into the quilt. It feels like he's being torn apart. Hop doesn't wait a second for Billy to adjust.</p><p>When he fucks Billy, Hop is rough, brutal. His hips smack into the belt lashes on Billy’s ass with sharp claps. The wounds protest in white, hot pain. Billy grabs the blankets in front of his face, tries to drag himself away. He can't, he's stuck, trapped. Hop pounds him. Billy's so mad. The pain rocketing through his body fuels his rage. His eyes burn with unshed tears of frustration.</p><p>Hop rams his dick inside with so much force the bed creaks in protest. Billy's body screams in pain. When Billy chokes over a yelp, Hop laughs down at him viciously, "<em>Bitch</em>."</p><p>He starts thrusting faster and Billy knows that means Hop is getting close. As Hop gets rougher, closer to his climax, he also gets meaner. His hips slam into Billy from behind and Hop hurls slurs at him. He calls Billy a <em> fag, </em> tells him he's a <em> fucking fairy</em>. Hop's thrusts get more erratic as he goes harder, deeper. For some reason, Hop's words flay Billy's heart open. Hop calling him a <em> pillow-biter </em> stings. Billy doesn't understand why Hop's words hurt almost as much as his violent actions. That hurt churns into more anger.</p><p>When Hop finally comes, Billy growls his impotent rage into the quilt. The older man’s cock is in him deep, spilling his load into Billy's core. The feeling of semen inside him makes Billy tremble with fury. He's shaking. When Hop pulls out, he isn't nice about it. A wet, squelching sound follows. Billy wants to scream, he wants to cry, he <em> wants </em>to beat Hop's face in with a baseball bat. Hop eases up and the moment he does, Billy shoves himself up so he's no longer bent at the waist. Hop latches onto Billy by his hair.</p><p>"Haven't had enough?"</p><p>"Fuck you," Billy snaps back but his voice is cracking and weakened. He elbows the man behind him but Hop doesn't even wince, "Just fucking kill me already, you sick <em> bastard</em>."</p><p>Billy is looking back over his shoulder just enough so he sees when Hop grins. It cuts across his face unnaturally. All his teeth are on display. Nothing about it looks even remotely happy.</p><p>"You’ll break, Billy,” Hop says like he doesn't doubt it for a second, “I won’t stop until you do.”</p><p>Hop manhandles Billy up onto the bed. He hauls Bill toward the bedframe by his hair. Billy is kicking out but none of his blows seem to affect Hop at all. Hop gets on his back, up by his shoulder blades, and sits, pinning Billy down. Even though Billy pulls and tugs and swings his arms out wildly, Hop corrals his wrists in and out of the handcuffs until Billy is locked to the bedframe again. Billy cusses up a storm the entire time, calls Hop every insult he can think of. Hop doesn't say anything back.</p><p>Silently, Hop moves down Billy's body, so he's over the backs of Billy's thighs. Billy's ass is raw with burning agony. Hop is hard again already. He thrusts into Billy fully, burying his length inside. Billy feels split open. Hop starts up a brutal pace right away. Billy twists and turns, yanks at the handcuffs until his wrists are scraped and bleeding. He shouts at Hop to stop, doesn't beg, <em> demands </em>. Hop just laughs at him and fucks him with more force.</p><p>Hop slaps Billy's asscheek and Billy jerks in shock under him. It doesn't hurt, not registering on the scale of all the other pain Billy is in, but it's humiliating. Hop does it again. He grips Billy's stinging cheek after, squeezes it. Billy grabs the bedframe, tries to pull himself away. Hop snatches him by both of his hips and shoves Billy down, forcing him to stay in place while he rocks in and out of his body. Then Hop quickens his pace and really gives it to Billy. Billy startles when Hop comes in him again, suddenly burying his cock deep before spilling his load.</p><p>Hop's cock doesn't soften and he doesn't pull out.</p><p>Billy's ass is wet and sticky with Hop's cum. When Hop starts thrusting into him again, Billy feels the man's semen spurt out along his cock. It's filthy. Hop fucks his own cum out of Billy’s ass with lewd, wet noises. Billy's anger is fracturing, shattering. He's disgusted and ashamed. That fire in his veins is burning out, making him feel like nothing more than the charred, hopeless remains of his former self.</p><p>Maybe <em>this</em> is how Hop kills him, Billy thinks. Not by strangling him to death. Not by fucking him until his last breath. Maybe Hop's going to kill him by destroying whatever Billy has left inside that makes up his soul. Billy feels empty when Hop's cock is in him. Hop comes inside Billy again. Billy doesn't get how he can be filled with nothing when his body is so fucking full. There's a hollow place, Billy realizes, right where his heart should be.</p><p>Hop is still hard. Billy lets go of the metal bedframe, too tired to hold on any longer. Hop rolls his hips. Billy's ass is so wet now the older man’s cock slides in and out with ease. Hop's cum burns, though, where Billy thinks he's been torn open. Even that pain is starting to feel distant. Billy is sweating but he feels cold. He doesn't shiver.</p><p>"Good," Hop tells him, "Break for me."</p><p>Billy was broken way before Hop got his hands on him. His soul has been cracked for a long time. This is just the fracturing blow.</p><p>Hop shifts, pushing Billy's thighs out to the side. When he leans up, he hoists Billy's hips up with him. Billy is dragged back, stretching out his arms where they're locked above his head. Hop gets him up on his knees with his head down on the bed, back arched. Hop's kneeling behind him, between Billy's spread, bent legs, holding onto his hips. When Hop fucks into Billy like this, cock coming in from above and shoving down into Billy's ass, Billy lets out a moan helplessly. He can barely even register the pain pulsing through his entire body anymore but when Hop's cock angles in him just right, Billy can definitely feel the pleasure that jolts through him.</p><p>Hop doesn't miss it either. He bends his body just right so he's fucking into that spot every time he thrusts forward. Billy can feel cum dripping out of him, down his ass and balls. His cock fills, stiffens. Billy doesn't try to know why, doesn't want to. He doesn't fight it anymore. Hop pounds into him and Billy moans as much as his body wants. It feels good. Billy lets it. Even when Hop grabs his hair and yanks his head up, Billy only moans louder, lips parted, open mouthed, eyes half-lidded.</p><p>Hop sinks into him so deep Billy feels like he's being punched in the sternum and climaxes. His hips twitch, cock shooting spunk up into Billy again, and Billy gasps. That also feels good now that Billy lets it. Billy is so hard and, when Hop doesn't stop, he realizes the older man is too. Hop pulls harder on Billy's hair until his eyes prickle with tears but Hop keeps fucking him good and deep. Billy's body feels separate from himself and the aching void in his soul. Billy feels broken, dead inside his heart and mind, but his body is a livewire of electric pleasure.</p><p>Hop doesn't grip his cock, doesn't stroke Billy off. Billy can't touch himself like this. His cock is hard and leaking between his legs. It slaps up into his stomach every time Hop fucks into him. And Hop keeps pounding him, hard and deep and rough. He doesn't give Billy a break, doesn't go easy on him. Even though his cock pummels Billy in that spot that makes his toes curl every time, Hop isn't doing anything to get Billy off. He's pulling his hair viciously, he's digging his fingernails into Billy's hip, he's thrusting in and out with force. Hop does nothing to make this good for Billy. </p><p>Billy comes anyway.</p><p>Billy lets out an obscene moan as his dick jerks, untouched, and shoots his jizz into the blankets below. His ass clenches up around Hop's cock and Hop fucks him through it all, not even slowing down. Tears fall down Billy's cheeks as his blood roars in his ears. He's left gasping after. Every time Hop slams into him, Billy twitches and jerks. As he comes down from his orgasm high, Billy still doesn't feel anything. His mouth hangs open as he pants for breath. Hop keeps going until he comes inside Billy again.</p><p>Hop still doesn't stop. Billy lets out a shocked, pained, gasp. Hop uses his grip in Billy's hair to shove his face down into the pillow. Billy feels exhausted. His legs are shaking. He's panting. Hop just keeps fucking him. Billy's ass is a slimey mess of Hop's cum. The claps of Hop's hips against Billy are wet and vulgar. It's disgusting. Billy doesn't feel disgusted. Billy doesn't feel anything. He slumps into the quilt under him even as Hop doesn't let up on his brutal fucking. Billy feels detached from the filth and the pain. Billy closes his eyes. It takes a long time for him to pass out but Hop is still pounding into him when he does.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billy comes to a couple times. Once, Hop is still holding his hips up and back, he's still railing into him. Billy's legs have fallen asleep. Another, Billy jerks into alertness when Hop bites him on the back of his shoulder. Billy gasps. He doesn't think the skin is broken but he can't tell. Finally, Billy swims awake when he comes in Hop's hand. They're laying on their sides, Hop spooning him. With a few shallow thrusts, Hop comes in him again. The man rubs a big hand flat over Billy’s stomach, pushing down like he can feel where his jizz is inside of Billy. Billy's eyes flutter and he's gone once again.</p><p>Light shining into his eyes finally rouses Billy fully into awareness. The sun is streaming in from the window next to the bed, hitting Billy in the face. As Billy blinks his eyes open, he immediately shuts them again with a groan. The light hurts his head. Billy becomes aware of himself slowly. His body is wracked with pain.</p><p>Billy's nose is agony on his face. His wrists are searing with white hot pain. His ribs feel bruised and battered as he breathes. Then Billy realizes more things he wishes he hadn't. Hop is draped over his back, laying on top of him. Billy lets out some warbled, panicked sound when he feels Hop's cock still inside him. His abdomen feels tight and full with what Billy suddenly realizes must be the other man's semen. Hop grunts in his ear. Billy grips the bedframe with shaking fingers, turns his face into the pillow under him, and trembles. His moving around must wake Hop because the next thing Billy knows, Hop's hips are rolling.</p><p>Billy wants to beg for him to stop but the words don't leave him. Hop's cock is barely even moving in him but it hurts so much, Billy's head spins. Hop sinks his face into Billy's hair and smells. Billy is a disgusting, sweaty mess but Hop just moans in his ear like his scent is utterly arousing. Billy holds still even though his body screams in agony and lets Hop have his way. Hop doesn't ever pick up his pace, doesn't pound Billy deep or hard. Still after a few relaxed, shallow thrusts, he's coming into Billy with a pleased moan pressed into Billy's hair.</p><p>When Hop pulls out of him, semen spurts out of Billy's ass. Hop sits back, pulling Billy's asscheeks apart to watch as his cum gushes out. Billy twitches, feels his face flush. Hop presses his thumbs into Billy's asshole and spreads it, holding him open. Billy shocks at the feeling of cool air on his insides.</p><p>"Push it out," Hop orders.</p><p>Billy tucks his face into the pillow and obeys. He clenches up and feels slimy liquid erupt out of him, over Hop's fingers. Hop moans. He toys with Billy’s asshole, pushing his thumbs in and pulling them out, playing with his cum. Billy is so sore an involuntary cry escapes him. He sniffles into the pillow, trying to hide the sound. Even though it hurts, even though it's degrading and painful when Hop holds him open again, Billy just can't bring himself to move. Hop shifts around behind him and Billy doesn't bother looking.</p><p>Then something wriggles into him between Hop's thumbs. Billy snaps his eyes open, one is swollen almost shut, and glances back. Hop's face is buried in his ass. Billy sucks in a startled breath when he realizes Hop's tongue is inside him. Hop laps at his tender, abused insides and it makes Billy feel ice cold and boiling hot at the same time. Billy moans. His asshole flutters when Hop licks into it. Then Hop sucks the semen out of him and Billy feels fucking nasty and depraved. </p><p>Suddenly Hop is moving back, rolling Billy over. Billy jumps when Hop kisses him. He spits his load into Billy's mouth, forcing it in with his tongue. Billy makes a distressed, frantic noise. A trail of cum and spit follows Hop's lips when he pulls back. Then he's slapping a hand down over Billy's mouth.</p><p>"Swallow," Hop demands even as Billy gags into the palm of his hand, "Swallow it, Billy."</p><p>Billy swallows.</p><p>"Good,” Hop sounds so pleased that it eases the panic in Billy’s veins. The hand on his mouth moves away but Hop immediately replaces it with a gag of fabric. Billy whines but he doesn’t fight it. Hop smiles at him, “You’re going to stay here and be <em> quiet</em>. Can you do that for me, Billy?”</p><p>Billy nods his head.</p><p>Hop kisses him on the temple, “Good boy.”</p><p>Billy lays there for a long time. The pool of cum under him, coating his ass and painting the insides of his thighs, goes sticky. It stiffens up. Billy’s itchy and uncomfortable. He’s sweaty so his skin raises in goosebumps as it dries. He’s cold. His body hurts so much and in so many places it makes his head swim. Billy is hungry and so fucking thirsty his throat hurts.</p><p>He stays on the filthy bed like that for hours. Billy watches as the sun rises and sets through the window. When he can no longer hold it, Billy wets himself. He starts crying then but he’s silent when he does. He’s repulsive. He’s afraid that when Hop comes back he’s going to think so too. Billy doesn’t know what Hop’ll do to him then. So he tries to be as good as he can; he doesn’t move and he doesn’t make a peep.</p><p>When Hop does come back, it’s dark, late. He flicks the lamp on the end table on and it makes Billy flinch. Billy is breathing fast. When Hop looks him over, takes in the revolting state of Billy’s body, his eyes look <em> kind</em>. Billy whimpers when Hop reaches for his face but he doesn’t dare pull away. Hop cups his cheek.</p><p>“Oh, Billy, it’s okay,” Hop sounds nice, forgiving even, “You’re okay.”</p><p>Hop is wearing slacks and an undershirt. He looks clean but like he's just come home from work. It makes Billy feel even more disgusting in comparison. Billy <em> is </em>disgusting. Especially when he leans into Hop's gentle fingers tucking his hair away from his forehead. Hop bends over him, kisses Billy between the eyes, and Billy feels so fucking relieved. Then Hop rests his own forehead against Billy’s, closes his eyes, sighs softly. His hand holds Billy's face like it's something fragile he's trying not to break.</p><p>Then Billy watches as Hop gets up. He shuffles around, getting something out of his dresser, out of his closet. He leaves the room. Billy doesn't want to be alone anymore. Across the hall, Billy hears water turn on. It sounds like a bath is running. He shifts his legs. Everything feels so gross. The thought of taking a bath makes Billy want to cry with envy. He wants to be clean so bad. He'd do anything. The water stops.</p><p>Then Hop comes back and he's still wearing all of his clothes. Billy's brows furrow in confusion as Hop approaches him. He undoes Billy's handcuffs, takes the gag out of his mouth. Billy doesn't move his arms and he doesn't say anything. Hop picks each arm up, one at a time, carefully avoiding the bruising on his wrists, and gently lays them across Billy's stomach. Then Hop reaches under Billy’s shoulders and knees. A surprised hum slips from Billy's mouth as Hop lifts him up. Billy isn't light, not really, but Hop carries him like he is. He holds Billy close to his chest even though Billy's getting his clothes all dirty. Billy's head lolls. He's watching the ceiling as he's carried out of the bedroom.</p><p>Hop takes him into the bathroom. Billy almost expects the man to drop him on the floor, to make him clean or something. He isn't expecting it when Hop carefully sets him down into a tub full of hot water. Billy jerks in surprise, gasps. The water is just this side of too hot but it's the way Billy likes it. Hop lays him down until Billy's submerged up to his chin. Billy has to bend his knees to fit but once he settles into the heated water his whole body relaxes. His aches and pains hurt a little less like this. Billy closes his eyes.</p><p>After a moment, Hop kneels down next to the bathtub. Billy keeps his eyes closed as Hop guides him up until he's sitting in the water. Hot water is poured over his head, hands working the liquid into Billy's hair. There's a clack that finally has Billy looking up. He watches Hop squirt shampoo into the palm of his hand.</p><p>"Keep your eyes closed," he says but it sounds like a suggestion, not a command.</p><p>Billy shuts his eyes.</p><p>Hop is shockingly gentle as he lathers the soap into Billy’s hair. When his fingers massage Billy's scalp, Billy sucks in a trembling breath. Hop works the suds into Billy's hair slowly, meticulously. It feels like his fingertips are working away Billy's headache and all of his negative thoughts. Hop washes his hair for a while, longer than Billy does for himself. Billy grips the edge of the bathtub to ground himself. He feels like he's floating and sinking at the same time. Hop is so kind to him, in moments like this.</p><p>Hop's hand rests over his forehead, shielding Billy's eyes, as he pours more warm water over Billy’s head. He keeps going until all the soap is rinsed from Billy's hair. Hop's hands return to Billy's locks to massage in conditioner and Billy's breaths flutter out of him. Billy is sure someone has done this for him before. Maybe when he was little. He can't remember, though, a time when someone touched him so delicately. Hop combs his fingers through Billy's hair, guiding it back, before rinsing Billy's face.</p><p>The water stings and Billy gasps. But Hop shushes him immediately. He's careful when he cleans Billy's face, using a warm, soapy cloth to wipe away the dried blood and tears. After rinsing the soap away, Hop wipes off the droplets left behind on Billy's eyelashes with his thumbs. He cups Billy's cheek after, brushing his thumb under Billy's black eye so lightly it doesn't even hurt. Hop's fingers move along Billy's jaw.</p><p>"Could use a shave," he says offhandedly.</p><p>"Yeah," Billy's voice comes out so quiet he might as well have said nothing at all.</p><p>Hop washes Billy's broken body thoroughly but with the same gentle diligence as his face. He rubs Billy's shoulders with soap, massages them as he washes Billy's back. Rinses it away slowly with warm water. He moves to Billy's chest, slicks him up with Irish Spring. Hop's touch is feather light over Billy's bruises and purposefully firm on sensitive places like his pectorals and nipples. Hop presses deeply at the muscles of Billy's chest, almost too hard, but when he pulls away Billy sucks in a surprised breath as tingling pleasure follows. Hop doesn't linger though.</p><p>Hop cups Billy's neck, lays him back so he's stretched out a little more. Then Hop starts on his legs. He gets his hands thick with suds and starts at the very top of Billy's thighs. His big hands circle one leg, cleaning it and massaging the meat of it at the same time. Billy's head falls back against the tile shower wall behind him with a thunk. He moans. Tension has left his leg muscles stiff and strained. Hop takes his time, rubbing the muscles of Billy's thigh, down his calf, his ankle, his foot. Then he washes the whole leg clean with hot water and moves on to the next.</p><p>Billy is panting by the time Hop is done. His legs feel like jelly. Hop washes Billy's arms in similar fashion. Starting at his armpits, massaging down his biceps, his elbows, the stiff muscles in his forearms. Hop is so, so careful when he washes Billy's wrists. Billy hisses in pain anyway. His wrists are a ripped up mess of dark purple bruising and scabbing over lacerations. Hop moves on quickly to save him suffering, working at his palms, down his fingers. Billy is so relaxed and warm. Arousal has pooled in his gut but it doesn't feel urgent or pressing. It's a sensual kind of arousal. Billy's body is just kind of reacting to the feeling of being touched so kindly.</p><p>Hop reaches under Billy's armpits and guides him up to his knees. Billy wavers, body so relaxed he can barely support himself. Hop draws him close, embracing Billy around his back and holding him to his chest. Billy buries his face in Hop's shirt and lets himself be held. Hop scrubs his ass clean, lathering the soap over Billy's cheeks, squeezing them and massaging out the tension there. Billy lets out a shuddery breath into Hop's shoulder. His fingers, where they're pressed between his chest and Hop's, curl into Hop's shirt a little, just holding on. Hop's other hand is rubbing his back soothingly.</p><p>Hop doesn't waste time, doesn't linger. His soapy fingers slide between Billy's cheeks. They clean meticulously but they're also so careful around Billy's abused entrance. It still hurts. Billy doesn't cry into Hop's shoulder but it's a near thing. Then Hop uses both of his hands to rinse Billy, pouring warm water over his ass first before holding his cheek open to spill water down his crack. Billy's whole body <em> shudders</em>. He presses a cut-off moan into Hop's neck. After Hop's hands have been all over him, massaging him, caressing him, washing him so tenderly, Billy feels sensitive. A slumbering pleasure is awakening in his abdomen. He feels his cock twitch to life between him and Hop.</p><p>Hop chuckles but it isn't mocking or mean. He sounds pleased. He kisses Billy on the temple quickly, before guiding him back. Then Hop helps Billy turn around. This time Billy's shoulder blades are pressed into Hop's chest. Hop is leaning over the side of the tub a little more. So Billy can be on his knees more comfortably like this. </p><p>Hop gets more soap on his hands until they're slippery with it. He grips Billy's hardening cock in one hand while his other slides across Billy's lower abdomen, down his leg, then back up his inner thigh. Billy gasps. His hands grab at Hop's forearms, just to hold on. Hop strokes up and down on Billy's cock while he massages his balls underneath. Billy's entire black and blue chest heaves with rapid breaths. Hop is barely working him, just rubbing and cleaning, but Billy feels like his climax is creeping closer anyway. Billy thrusts into Hop's hand and immediately Hop lets him go.</p><p>Billy whines in loss. Whatever build up there was eases away into a smoldering need that settles uncomfortably into the pit of Billy's stomach. Hop guides him back down so he's sitting in the water again. Billy's cock is hard but the stiffness is ebbing away with no more stimulation. Billy grips the edge of the tub to keep from reaching between his legs. Hop finishes washing him. He guards Billy's eyes with his hand again as Hop pours more water over Billy's head to rinse out the remaining conditioner.</p><p>When Hop gets Billy out of the tub, standing on a bath mat, he pats him dry. The towels he uses are soft, fluffy. Hop dries Billy's hair and leaves the fluffy towel draped over his head. Then he moves down Billy's body with the other one. He dries Billy's throat, shoulders, down his arms, his fingers. He wipes the moisture from Billy's back, along his spine, then his sides over his bruised ribs, up over his chest, his abdomen. Then Hop dries Billy's privates, careful and gentle. Finally, he moves down Billy's legs. Kneeling, Hop rubs the water away from Billy's thigh, behind his knee, his calf, his ankle, foot, toes. Then he does the same for the other leg. Billy stands there trembling. His skin feels alive over his dead body. When Hop stands again, he wraps the towel around Billy's waist for him.</p><p>Hop hands him a toothbrush. It looks unused, there's a cartoon fish on it. "Toothpaste's in the top drawer," Hop tells him, "I'll be right back."</p><p>Billy brushes his teeth mechanically. He stares down at the sink while he does. He can hear Hop moving around outside the room and tries not to think about it. Hop comes back only a moment or two later carrying a chair. Billy rinses his mouth out, spits. It's pink. Billy washes out the toothbrush and sets it next to the sink. He dries his mouth off on the towel still over his hair.</p><p>"Alright, here, sit down," Hop tells him but again his voice isn't commanding. Billy still obeys. Hop rummages around in the cabinet behind the mirror. He produces a bottle of shaving cream and a razor with a triumphant sound, "There you are, you little bastard." He's talking to the shaving kit, not Billy. A smile twitches at Billy’s mouth.</p><p>Billy remembers when Neil taught him how to shave. He was fourteen. Neil stood next to him in front of the mirror. The man was straightforward, but quick, efficient. Billy's hand was shaking with nerves. He never liked it when Neil's attention was on him like that. Neil was mad when Billy nicked himself, clapped him over his ear, hard, leaving it ringing. The whole time, Neil corrected every single thing Billy did, critical and harsh. Billy likes to wear scruff on his face now because he knows it pisses Neil off.</p><p>Hop smooths on a thin layer of cream over Billy's jaw, chin, upper lip. He's humming. Billy feels...content. His body is relaxed. His mind is at ease. His heart isn't racing. Hop shaves his face slowly but with practiced expertise. He stops to clean the cream off the razor frequently. He never cuts Billy's skin. He goes with the grain. No one has <em> ever </em> done this for Billy before. Hop acts like Billy is something special, something to be cherished, and Billy forgets all about the violence and pain the older man has caused him when he does. It feels so good to be adored that maybe the pain is worth it. </p><p>Once Hop cleans the remaining shaving cream off with a cold washcloth, he takes the towel from Billy's hair and dries his face with it. Then Hop runs the towel over Billy's hair again, fluffing it. Billy stares down at his bruised wrists while Hop brushes his hair. Billy knows it's going to curl up when it dries but it's never as curly naturally as it is when he styles it. Once Hop is finished he steps back. The older man leans a hip against the counter in front of Billy. He tilts Billy's face up, so he can look at him better. His hand stays under Billy's chin, thumb stroking his smooth skin there softly.</p><p>"Well, lookit you," Hop smiles down at him. His eyes are warm, crinkled where his cheeks push up at them. He's really happy, "You're <em> gorgeous</em>, Billy."</p><p>Billy sucks in a tight breath. He blinks rapidly. Billy doesn't know why those words affect him so much. He thinks maybe his face is getting red. Embarrassment and something else make him warm under his skin. Suddenly Hop drops a quick kiss to the top of his head. When Hop guides Billy back up to his feet, Billy feels flustered. Hop takes the towels from Billy, hangs them up, leaving Billy naked again. Hop drags the chair out of the room, just out into the hall. When he comes back he hands Billy a big flannel shirt.</p><p>"I'd get you some pants but, uh," Hop scratches at the back of his head, "Don't think they'll fit."</p><p>Billy takes the shirt, holds it, "Thank you, sir."</p><p>"Here," Hop says after a second when Billy doesn't move, "Arms up."</p><p>Billy lets Hop take the shirt back, lifts his arms dutifully. Hop slips the warm fabric up Billy's arm, around his back, and guides his other arm through the other side. He buttons a few snaps on the front, holding the shirt closed but for a stretch of Billy's chest and collarbone. Billy stares as Hop rolls the long sleeves up his arms so they don't hang uncomfortably over his hands. He reaches behind Billy's head to straighten out the collar. The shirt smells like pine and campfire smoke, it's warm and clean and soft against Billy’s skin. </p><p>Billy glances up when Hop turns him and realizes he's facing the mirror now. He startles back but when he does, Billy bumps into Hop's chest. Hop boxes him in from behind, one big arm resting on the counter in front of them. Billy looks himself over quickly. He's swimming in Hop's shirt and it hangs down to the middle of his thighs. His face is bruised and without his stubble, Billy almost looks like someone else. He appears so much younger, Billy thinks, without any facial hair. </p><p>Hop moves and Billy watches as Hop's other hand moves his shirt collar aside, tucks a tuft of curly blonde hair away from Billy’s ear and neck. His mouth immediately settles there. Billy's breathing picks up as he watches the older man kiss at the bend of his neck and shoulder. Hop's eyes flick up, meet Billy's through the reflective glass of the mirror, right before he nips at the skin of Billy's neck. Billy lets out a shaky breath and tilts his head so Hop has more room. Hop moans his approval into Billy's ear right before tracing the shell of it with his tongue.</p><p>"Ah!" Billy's startles, hands grabbing at the edge of the counter in front of him. His earlier arousal had never really left but it still surprises Billy how quickly need flares to life in his veins once again.</p><p>Hop's hand drops from Billy's hair to grip him by the hip. He doesn't do it hard, just settles his hand there. Then his hand creeps inward. It rubs Billy's thigh as Hop sucks in the skin just below Billy's ear. Billy spreads his legs, just hoping Hop will touch him. His cock is twitching to life and Hop's hand is <em> right there</em>, sliding up the sensitive flesh of Billy's inner thigh. Hop's fingers catch the flannel and lift it as they slide up Billy's body. Hop stops when the shirt is just above Billy's bellybutton, exposing Billy's cock.</p><p>"God, look at you," Hop growls into his ear. His voice makes Billy shiver. </p><p>Billy looks and sees in his reflection that his cock is standing hard and proud right below Hop's hand, untouched and swollen red with blood. A wobbly moan leaves him as his face flushes red. He should feel ashamed but that isn't it. It <em> is </em> embarrassment but a nervous kind, one that makes Billy even hotter under the collar of Hop's warm shirt and not sickly cold in his soul.</p><p>"Please," Billy pants out, barely even a sound at all.</p><p>Hop kisses the sharp corner of his jaw, slides his hand feather light down Billy's hard cock, whispers, "Not yet."</p><p>Then he pulls away and lets Billy go.</p><p>Billy stops a whimper of protest from leaving his throat. Hop's being so kind to him right now, Billy doesn't want that to change. Hop's gentle hands on him feel like being loved. Billy has wanted to be loved for so, so long. All of his life, Billy has been told that he's bad. When Hop holds him like Billy's someone meant to be cherished, Billy feels like maybe he is. Maybe that means he deserves to be loved. If love comes with pain, Billy can take it. If love comes at the cost of his soul, Billy will pay it. Right now, he wants to be loved more than he wants to be alive.</p><p>Billy wills his body to calm down. His arousal, once again, burns to a smoldering ache deep in his bones, dormant but not extinguished. Hop sits him at the table and gets him a bowl of cheerios and another glass of apple juice. While Billy eats, he watches Hop gathering laundry from the bathroom and bedroom. Billy keeps his eyes glued to the food, too afraid to do anything to bring Hop's mire down on him again. He's so hungry that one bowl of cereal isn't enough but Billy will take whatever he can get. He drinks all the milk out of the bowl. Then Billy sips at his juice, trying to savor it. He's thirsty though and the juice is gone before he knows it. While Hop is still busy, Billy takes his dishes to the sink and washes them.</p><p>When he turns around, Billy sees Hop in the living room. The kitchen opens right up to it so it all just feels like one big room in the end. There's a sofa and a tv, a coffee table. Hop's changed into a soft, worn t-shirt and some pajama bottoms. He sits on the couch with a tired groan.</p><p>"Hey, grab me a beer," Hop says to him, pointing at the fridge, "You can have one too if you want."</p><p>Billy grabs two cans and makes his way over to the couch. When he hands one out to Hop, Hop catches him by the arm and tugs him down. Billy goes. Hop is leaning against the armrest, legs stretched out across the sofa. He pulls Billy down onto his lap, so he's situated between the spread of Hop's legs with his back against Hop's belly. Hop puts on fucking <em> I Love Lucy </em>while they lounge and drink their beers. Every time Hop laughs, Billy can feel it through his whole body. </p><p>He drinks his beer too fast, he's thirsty, and it's just enough to give him a little head buzz. It won't last long if he doesn't keep drinking and Billy knows the only reason why he's feeling it at all is because he hasn't had enough to eat or drink. He nearly knocks the can over when he sets it on the coffee table. Hop chuckles at him but it's warm, endeared. Billy thinks he kind of loves it.</p><p>"You a lightweight?" he teases.</p><p>Billy scoffs, "Not even close."</p><p>"Oh excuse me, Mr. Hotshot," Hop downs his beer then leans all up against Billy to set the can on the coffee table too, "I was just noticing the prettiest blush on your cheeks here. That couldn't be cause of little ol' me, could it?"</p><p>Billy does feel his cheeks go hot. He doesn't answer. Hop kisses a smile into Billy’s temple like he already knows anyway.</p><p>When Hop leans back, he wraps an arm around Billy’s waist and brings him with him. Billy's buzz feels more intense when he's laying back like this. Hop's hand is crossed over his stomach, laying innocently on Billy's hipbone, but Billy is so <em> aware </em>of it. He shifts his hips, trying to be subtle but wanting Hop to touch him. Hop's fingertips curl under the bottom of Billy's flannel, just brushing over Billy's skin. Billy grips Hop's knees on either side of him. Hop's fingers tug up Billy's shirt, exposing his hardening cock, but they don't touch it. Hop glides his fingers over Billy's belly, his hip, his thigh, everywhere but where Billy wants. Billy groans.</p><p>"Use your words," Hop tells him.</p><p>Billy gulps, "Please, sir."</p><p>"Good," Hop's other hand moves up Billy's shirt, up to his chest. He twists Billy's nipple, "Tell me what you want."</p><p>Billy shudders. He's hard now, cock jutting up against his bellybutton. "I want you to touch me, sir," his voice is so breathless, needy, Billy barely recognizes it as his own.</p><p>"Nah," Hop pulls his hands away. Billy whines low in his throat, "I'm tired."</p><p>Billy's chest is moving rapidly. He feels so <em> desperate </em>after being denied for so long. The fluttering buzz of alcohol in his veins just makes it worse. He doesn't really think about it when he rolls over. Billy gets himself on top of Hop's leg. He grinds down, rocking his stiff length into Hop's hip. He moans into Hop's chest. One of Hop's hands grips him under the asscheek, encouraging him to keep rolling his hips. </p><p>"You really need it that bad, huh?" </p><p>Hop grabs Billy's other thigh, the leg in between Hop's, and lifts until Billy’s sitting in Hop's lap. His knees are on either side of Hop's waist, spread open across the bigger man's pelvis. Billy catches himself with two flat palms on Hop's chest. He's sitting on top of Hop, watching breathlessly, as Hop plucks open the buttons of his flannel. He pushes the fabric down so it's off Billy's shoulders, caught on his elbows. A big hand slides down Billy's chest but it pulls away before it touches Billy’s length. Suddenly Hop folds a hand behind his head, relaxing back, while his other grips Billy's thigh.</p><p>"You do it," Hop rubs at Billy’s sensitive inner thigh with a rough thumb, "I want to watch."</p><p>Billy feels that warm, nervous embarrassment all over again. He licks his lips, quick, anxious. Then he grips himself firmly. He's so turned on. Billy doesn't want to give himself time to read into it. A shaky exhale tumbles from his parted lips as his hand strokes up his hard cock. After waiting so long, even his own touch shocks the air from Billy's lungs. He moans. His hips roll up into his own fist and he pumps himself hard. The hand still on Hop's chest tangles into Hop's shirt and grips it.</p><p>"Goddamn," Hop <em> purrs</em>, his hand moves up under his flannel, up Billy's waist, "You're fucking gorgeous."</p><p>Billy nearly falls apart right then and there. The man's gruff praise makes something inside of Billy sing to life. His breath hitches. His cock is already leaking over his fingers. He goes faster, chasing release. He's so close. Hop's hand lands on his wrist, stopping him. A desperate whimper bubbles out of Billy’s throat.</p><p>"Slow down," Hop guides Billy's fingers so he's pumping his own cock painfully slow, "What's the rush?"</p><p>"I want it so bad," Billy's voice breaks out of him, "I'm so close."</p><p>"Yeah?" Hop sits up, wrapping his hands around Billy’s lower back, "You gonna come for me, Billy?"</p><p>Billy nods, a little frantic. His thighs squeeze Hop's waist when one of Hop's hands grips his ass. Billy tilts his head back, leans into Hop's hold a little. He doesn't stroke himself any faster though. It feels like he's trapped on the edge of bliss, so close but unable to leap. Hop watches him heatedly. Billy's other hand jumps up to his chest, toying with his own nipple. He moans again, more desperate than before.</p><p>"Look at me," Hop demands.</p><p>Billy does immediately. It's so much easier to let himself do what he's told. His eyes lock onto Hop's and Billy's lashes flutter. Hop looks <em> hungry</em>. Billy bites his lip, keeps his eyes open with effort.</p><p>"Who do you belong to?" Hop asks.</p><p>"You," Billy answers immediately, thrusting his hips up into his own agonizingly slow touch, "You, sir."</p><p>"That's right," Hop rakes his nails down the belt marks on Billy's back and it burns deliciously, "You're mine. Who's letting you feel good right now?"</p><p>"You, sir," Billy gasps, "Please-"</p><p>Hop claps Billy on the ass, a warning, and just hard enough to send a jolt of pleasure up Billy's spine. Billy moans. "You can come when <em> I </em>say," Hop growls, "Is that what you want?"</p><p>Billy nods his head, his cock is so hard in his hand.</p><p>"Words, Billy," Hop snaps.</p><p>"Yes, please!" Billy's thighs are tense, toes curling. He's so fucking close, "Yes, I want to come, sir. Please let me come."</p><p>"Look at me," Hop growls and Billy does; he didn't realize he'd closed his eyes, "Look into my eyes when you come."</p><p>"Yes, sir," Billy pants.</p><p>"Go on then," Hop squeezes his ass a little harder, "Come for me like a good boy, Billy."</p><p>Billy finally, <em> finally</em>, pumps his cock. He rocks his hips up into his hand as he does. He squeezes his hand tighter, goes faster, grips his own chest and twists his nipple. Billy's toes curl as his body winds up tighter and tighter. He's panting, gasping, moaning. His eyes stay locked onto Hop's as he works himself over the edge of release. His eyelids flutter but Billy keeps his eyes open when he finally comes. He gasps, jerks, and shoots his load all over his fingers and Hop's chest. He keeps pumping his twitching cock until every last drop of cum has left him. He's breathing frantically, trying to catch his breath, his head is spinning.</p><p>"That was perfect," Hop's hands are soft now, rubbing Billy's back, "You did so good."</p><p>Billy falls forward so he's laying on Hop's chest. He wraps his arms around Hop's torso, buries his face into Hop's neck, and cries. Hop just hushes him, gently embracing Billy around his back. His big hands are kind as they massage up and down Billy's spine. Billy can't explain why he's crying and he can't stop. He just wants to be good, wants to deserve love, so bad it hurts. He <em> hurts </em>. That empty space where his heart should be aches. It makes his throat tight, makes tears bubble up and spill through his eyelashes, makes Billy feel both deathly empty and alive with agony. Hop holds him tenderly until he doesn't. After a moment, Hop goes stiff. Billy is too distracted to notice until it's too late.</p><p>Hop <em> shoves </em>him, throws Billy off of him and into the coffee table. Billy cracks his head against the wood as he smacks into the table and crashes to the floor. Panic lances through Billy's veins. He curls up, trying to be small. Hop stands over him, growls. He reaches down and grabs Billy by the neck. Billy knows Hop is strong but he's still shocked when Hop lifts him up by his throat. He's only using one hand but Billy's feet are no longer touching the floor. Billy's hands scramble at Hop's grip.</p><p>"I don't have time for this," Hop snarls into Billy’s face, "You're a <em> distraction</em>."</p><p>Billy feels <em> gutted</em>. Eviscerated. He thought he was being <em> good </em>.</p><p>"I should kill you already," Hop's hand tightens and Billy’s vision blurs. He can't breathe. His neck feels like it's going to <em> snap </em> . Hop snarls and loosens his hold, "But I can't. <em> He </em> won't let me."</p><p>Billy coughs around Hop's fingers. Suddenly he's reminded of the first time Hop took him, in the back of his truck. Hop had sounded <em> insane </em> then. Billy thinks he sounds pretty crazy right now too.</p><p>"Fine," Hop's voice is like ice. It doesn't match the violence in him as he carries Billy back to the bedroom, "I'll keep the boy alive, for now. He better not get in my way again."</p><p>Billy is confused and scared. His head throbs. Hop throws him down onto the bed. All the blankets are gone, Billy lands on the sheets. He shifts up, so he's sitting as close to the bedframe as he can and as far away from Hop as he can get.</p><p>"Cuff yourself," Hop tosses his handcuffs at Billy. When Billy hesitates, Hop takes a threatening step closer. He grips Billy by his ankle, jerks his leg out. Billy yelps. "Do it or I'll find a better way to keep you in place." His fingers squeeze Billy's ankle so hard Billy is afraid he's actually going to break it.</p><p>Billy hurriedly cuffs himself to the bed. Hop cinches them as tight as they'll go, until they pinch Billy's tender, bruised skin. Billy leans his shoulder into the iron bedframe when Hop leans over him. He grips a handful of Billy's hair and yanks his head back. Hop kisses him, thrusts his tongue into Billy's mouth as deep as he can. Billy chokes on it. Hop drops him suddenly.</p><p>Billy watches as Hop gets dressed, putting on his uniform. It's the middle of the night but Billy doesn't dare ask where he's going. Billy feels something warm and hot tickling the side of his face and neck. His head is <em> throbbing. </em> He's worried he cracked his skull open on the table before. It would explain why he's shaking all over, why he's sick to his stomach, why he feels cold even though his blood is pumping and he's sweating like crazy. Hop marches over to him again, stuffs a sock he took from his dresser into Billy's mouth. The squeak of duct tape being torn off the roll makes Billy jump. Hop covers Billy's gagged mouth with tape and wraps it all the way around Billy’s head. He slaps Billy's tear-stained cheek.</p><p>"Stay put," he grins, all sharp and ugly, "I'll come back for you."</p><p>Billy hopes he doesn’t.</p><p>Billy jerks awake when he hears yelling in the other room. His head is <em> swimming</em>. He can't focus. The voices fade in and out, mixing together to form a long mess of <em> noise </em> . Voices. He straightens up a little, tries to focus. He's still sitting against the bedframe, leaning into it. His hands are numb. He realizes there are people arguing in the other room. They sound young and more importantly none of them sound like Hop. Billy is going to call out but he hesitates. If Hop finds out he let himself be discovered, he'll be in for it. Billy recalls how <em> unhinged </em>Hop was earlier and decides he's probably completely fucked either way.</p><p>He shouts into his gag, knocks his handcuffs into the metal bedframe as hard as he can.</p><p>"Did you hear that?" someone asks.</p><p>A hush falls. Billy keeps shouting but his voice gives out so easily. It's day time now. He's so thirsty. His throat feels cracked and so unbelievably sore. Footsteps approach and suddenly Billy regrets <em> everything </em> . What if whoever is out there is <em> worse </em>than Hop? What if the older man left him to these people to be murdered and mutilated? His heart races. His chest heaves with panicked breath. The curtain over the door moves suddenly and Billy curls into himself. Fuck he wishes he had somewhere to hide.</p><p>Then Nancy <em> fucking </em>Wheeler steps into the room.</p><p>Her eyes go <em> wide</em>. Her jaw drops. Whoever is coming in behind her is pushed out when she turns in a rush. Billy is completely flabbergasted. Why the hell is Nancy Wheeler at Hop's freaky cabin in the woods? His head hurts too bad to think this hard.</p><p>"Wait out here, all of you. I'm serious," she sounds like it too, "Jonathan, come here."</p><p>Then Nancy comes back into the room and Jonathan Byers is on her heel. Billy doesn't know what to think. He knows the Byers weirdo as the creep who liked to take pictures of unsuspecting girls. All he knows about Nancy is that she fucked Steve Harrington and she has a hot mom. None of that explains why the two are here right now.</p><p>"Oh my god, Billy, we thought you were dead," Nancy comes over to him in a rush, Jonathan hesitates. He eyes Billy warily. Billy wonders if he knows about Heather. Billy never wanted her to get hurt. Suddenly Billy reels back. If they help him, they'll end up like Heather too.</p><p>Nancy misunderstands. She reaches for him again, but slower. "It's okay," she sounds like she really thinks that's true, "I'm just going to take this off."</p><p>He shakes his head. Then clenches his eyes shut. Fuck, that hurts. He doesn't think he can handle anymore dead people hanging over him. It doesn't matter. There's nowhere for him to go. Nancy is careful when she peels the duct tape away. It still hurts. She pulls the gag out with a scrunched up face.</p><p>"You have to leave," Billy says immediately before anyone else can speak, his voice cracks it's so weak, "Before he comes back."</p><p>"It's okay. We're going to get you out of here," Nancy reaches for his hands, Billy flinches.</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Billy's voice doesn't sound firm, it sounds <em> scared </em>.</p><p>"Why not?" Jonathan asks, suspicious.</p><p>Billy swallows thickly, tears are prickling his eyes. He's so tired. "I didn't want her to get hurt," he whispers because his throat is raw, "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. He killed her because of me. If you don't get out of here, he's going to kill you too."</p><p>Nancy and Jonathan share a look. Nancy is gentle when she speaks to him again. "Was it Chief Hopper?" she asks. </p><p>Terror rips through Billy. He's tied up naked in Hop's house. Who else would it be? But Billy <em> knows </em> the rules. Don't tell. He knows better. If they find him because Hop can't lock a fucking door, that's not Billy's fault. Billy ratting him out <em> is </em>. He gulps, his eyes flick to the door. What if he comes back right now? These two are as good as dead.</p><p>"Please," Billy looks back at Nancy, <em> begging</em>. Her big, sweet eyes look shocked. He blinks tears away quickly, "Please I can't-I don't want anyone else to die. <em> Please</em>."</p><p>Determination steels across Nancy's features. "That's not going to happen," she turns to Jonathan, "Find him something to wear," and Byers listens to her right away. Nancy looks back at Billy. She pulls a bobby pin out of her hair, "We're getting you out of here. No one else is going to die."</p><p>Billy doesn't have the energy to fight as she starts on the cuffs, picking them with her hairpin. It's not something he'd expect someone like Nancy Wheeler to know how to do. He knew this girl back in Cali who could pick a lock with <em> anything</em>. She was homeless. She moved south. She and him weren't friends though. Billy barely knew her. He wasn't sad when she was gone but he did miss the space she used to occupy sometimes. When he locked his keys in his car once, he thought of her. He thinks of her now, too, when Nancy unlocks Hop's handcuffs with a bobby pin.</p><p>Jonathan comes back with a pair of pants. They're <em> Billy's</em>. He'd almost forgotten he'd worn his own clothes here since he wasn't awake when he lost them. Jonathan hands them out to him awkwardly. Billy grabs them but doesn't move once he has them. He can't shake the feeling this is a huge mistake.</p><p>"Jesus," Nancy whispers next to him, her cool, soft fingers touch Billy's hair and Billy flinches away hard, "You're bleeding," she sounds thoughtful but sad, "I don't want Max seeing you like this."</p><p>Billy jerks, "Max?"</p><p>"Yeah, she's here," Nancy explains, "We should-"</p><p>"No, no, no," Billy is up off the bed in a rush, "She can't be here," he staggers, catches himself on the end table, "Max can't be here."</p><p>"Hey, calm down," it's Jonathan at his side now. Nancy is looking away, trying to give him privacy. Jonathan doesn't reach for him and his eyes are still hard.</p><p>Billy feels sick. "Oh god, if he does something to Max, my dad is going to kill me," Billy snaps his jaw shut. He hadn't meant to say that. His head must be worse off than he thought, "He'll kill Max. Just like Heather. I need to get her out of here."</p><p>"Billy," Jonathan says, firm. Billy looks at him again. His eyes aren't hard or mean anymore. They're understanding, "Hop isn't here. He's not coming back. But Max is out there. And she thinks you're <em> dead</em>. If you care about her <em> at all</em>, pull yourself together. Be strong for her, okay?"</p><p>Billy remembers calling Max. She had sounded so scared. He'd done that to her. Billy grabs his jeans off the bed and pulls them on. He's a shitty brother. He's a shitty <em> person</em>. But Billy won't let Max go through what he has. His hands are shaking as his zips up his pants. Billy can't let himself be a pussy right now. Once his pants are done up, he buttons up the flannel too. He doesn't have to be strong for himself, he doesn't have to be alive inside, all he has to do is make sure no one else dies because of him.</p><p>"Okay?" Jonathan asks.</p><p>Billy doesn't know what he means, exactly, but he nods. <em> No</em>, Billy isn't okay. But that has never, ever mattered. He'll do what he has to do.</p><p>Max is arguing with one of her friends when she spots him. Her eyes go wide.</p><p>"Billy?" she asks, shocked.</p><p>Billy isn't expecting it when she rushes him. He doesn't expect it either when she throws her arms around him. A rough hug. Billy shakes when he wraps his arms around her in return. She lets out a surprised noise when he hugs her back.</p><p>"You're alive," she pushes him back, the hug was brief but probably the closest they've ever gotten to being nice to each other, "I can't believe it."</p><p>"Yeah," Billy snorts, he's trying to be the Billy she needs right now, "Me neither. Now move, I'm thirsty."</p><p>She rolls her eyes, "Good to see you too."</p><p>Billy gets a glass of water while the group behind him starts talking over each other again. He feels wrong footed, uneasy. Like he'll blink and wake up tied to the bed again, being taken forcefully and <em> liking </em>it. Billy feels sick. One of the kids, with an ugly fucking bowl cut, is watching him. Billy drinks a whole glass of water before turning to the boy. His brown eyes are wide and observant. Billy can see the kid take in his busted up face, the blood in his hair, the gnarly bruises on his wrists.</p><p>"Did one of the Flayed do that?" he asks.</p><p>Billy blinks, "The fuck's a <em> Flayed </em>?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hop almost doesn't stop. He's still fuming after his interaction with that little shithead Mike Wheeler so he's not in the <em> mood </em> for this tonight. Hop is so tempted to keep driving. Billy Hargrove is a nuisance on a good day. Still, it's unseasonably cold out, it's late, and the kid is flagging him down like he needs help. Billy looks like walking <em> sin </em> in his skin tight jeans and Hop worries that the next car to come by might not be as good a samaritan as he is. With a sigh, Hop makes up his mind and slows his truck to a stop. He rolls his window down as Billy approaches.</p><p>"Hargrove," Hop sighs, "What trouble did you get into this time?"</p><p>"<em> I </em> didn't do anything!" Billy shouts but Hop's distracted by the wound on the kid's head. He's got a hell of a gash above his eyebrow. It's still oozing blood. Billy keeps talking, “This-this <em> thing </em> came outta nowhere! Hit my car. A rabid fucking <em> dog </em>or something.”</p><p>Hop's stomach drops. His hand grips the steering wheel tightly for a second before he makes up his mind. It can't be. It <em> can't </em> be. Still, Hop <em> has </em>to check and make sure. He climbs out of his truck. Looking Billy over quickly, Hop doesn't see any other wounds or any signs he was attacked by anything but the steering wheel of his sports car.</p><p>Hop needs to be sure, "Jesus, you okay, kid?"</p><p>“Yeah!" Billy answers immediately in a way that makes Hop think that's not the case, "I mean-” Billy sounds like he's really shaken. That makes Hop even more alert. Billy gestures to his busted up Camaro, “My car’s a total <em> wreck </em>and there’s some wild fucking animal running around but yeah, I’m peachy.”</p><p>Hop draws his gun, checks it over. This is probably nothing. Billy Hargrove was probably driving drunk, again, and hit a deer or something. This is probably <em> nothing</em>. Still. It's Hawkins. Hop needs to be sure. He tells Billy to get in his truck and stay put. One less person that needs to sign confidentiality papers if this turns out bad. Even though Hop knows this is probably nothing but a deer or a dog or maybe a coyote. There are tons of wild animals in Indiana not just...Hop knows it's probably not that anyway.</p><p>Hop heads toward the abandoned warehouse once he hears Billy get in the truck like he's told. It's oddly quiet. Hop's boots crunch in the gravel and cement floor of the old building. There's a thunk down the stairs ahead of him. Hop stops. While he's trying to listen, the music in his truck is suddenly cranked up. It's muffled but so loud Hop can't really hear anything else around him. He curses under his breath, rolling his eyes to the heavens. God, grant him some patience to deal with all these asshole kids. </p><p>Suddenly there's another noise from down the stairs. Hop steps closer, peers down into the darkness. He should have brought his flashlight, Hop thinks, before something grabs his leg. He calls out in shock before he's being dragged down the stairs. Hop grips his gun and swings it down, aiming into the dark, but his mind goes black. It feels like one moment he's being dragged into hell by god only knows what and then he blinks and Hop's suddenly in the back of his truck.</p><p>Billy is sprawled out on the blanket in front of him. The teen's in just a wife beater and jeans. Hop realizes that <em> he's </em>holding onto Billy's ankle. Billy's looking at him with some mixture of disbelief, shock, and anger. Hop can't stop himself. His eyes travel from Billy's blazing eyes down his body. The kid's hot shit and he knows it. Hop knows it too.</p><p>Something dark stirs in Hop's mind. It feels all wrong. Like there's a second presence in his own skull. The darkness asks him "Is this what you want?" and Hop knows it already knows it is. Billy Hargrove is gorgeous. Who doesn't want him?</p><p>"Fuck off," Billy answers even though Hop hadn't said anything. Had he? "I'm not a fucking fag."</p><p>Hop drags Billy to him even though <em> Hop </em>isn't doing anything. His body is moving on it's own. Oh god, Hop thinks, something is very, very wrong. The evil thing inside him seems to be fueled by Hop's uncertainty.</p><p>"So young," it says through Hop's mouth like it <em> knows </em> Hop likes that Billy’s younger than him. Billy makes Hop feel old but not in a bad way. Hop looks at Billy and feels like his years mean something. Hop can help him, teach him. Billy just needs a guiding force. It'd be so much easier if Billy just wasn't--"So <em> spirited</em>."</p><p>A sudden blow to Hop's chin knocks him senseless. Hop loses himself to the black. Then, again, he blinks and things have changed around him. His hands are wrapped around Billy’s throat. Hop's chest tightens. Billy is fading, Hop can tell. He's going to die. Billy is going to die and Hop is the one--"No!" Hop shouts, tearing his hands away. For just a second Hop feels like he's in his body again. Then, he's not.</p><p>"Don't worry," he says but it's not him speaking, "This isn't over yet."</p><p>Billy is panting under him, barely lucid as he gasps for breath. Hop watches as his hands pull Billy’s pants off. The denim slides down the smooth lines of his legs. Hop doesn't want to look but he can't help it. Billy's body is so lovely. Hop watches everything as his body pushes its way between Billy’s lean thighs. That's when Billy starts fighting again. He's shifting and pushing, trying to kick Hop away. Hop wants him too. He really, really does.</p><p>Then Hop's hand is on Billy's throat. Billy freezes under him. He's still panting but he's clearly afraid of being strangled again. Hop feels sick inside a body that's no longer his own. Billy's eyes, though, are burning, indignant. Hop swears they glint and glitter even under the bleak light shining in from outside. He wants to reach out and assure Billy everything's going to be alright. His hand strokes Billy’s cheek against Hop's will.</p><p>"Those eyes," he whispers and the sound leaves him. Hop tries to talk then, tries to tell Billy this is wrong and beg him to run, but he can't. The monster in him speaks instead. Hop can't follow what's being said. He sees the fear, though, under all of Billy's rage. Hop thinks he knows Billy pretty well, sometimes, when his handsome youthful features twist with fear like that.</p><p>"I should fill him with my spawn. Deep inside. They'd love to devour such a healthy body," Hop says but it's the evil inside speaking to <em> Hop </em>and not Billy. Billy doesn't seem to have heard.</p><p><em> No</em>, Hop pleads, or he thinks he does, <em> No please, God, no. </em>He doesn't know what he's trying to stop, exactly, but he knows, through the dark within, that it's unspeakable.</p><p>"I could, you know," Hop watches his hand on Billy's stomach, thinks he understands a little better staring at the younger man's abdomen and wishes he didn't, "They'd grow so well in such a good host." Hop really, <em> really </em>wishes he didn't know.</p><p><em> Not that</em>, Hop thinks the monster in him can hear him, <em> Dear God, not that. </em></p><p>Billy lashes out again. Hop can't do anything when his hand on Billy's throat tightens once more. It looks so painful. Billy falls still. The monster inside of Hop delights in it. Hop's hand spreads Billy's legs nice and wide. Hop can't look away as Billy's slender leg is lifted up and over Hop's broad shoulder. God, Hop hates how he can't tear his eyes away from Billy’s exposed body. He shouldn't like it as much as he does, Hop knows. It's sick.</p><p>"Please don't," Billy pleads. He sounds impossibly young and afraid.</p><p>Hop is suddenly aware of how fucked up this is. Billy's just a kid. Yeah, he's an ass but he doesn't deserve this. No one does. This is so wrong. He doesn't want to hurt Billy. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. Hop struggles inside with everything he has. He wants this to stop. He can't do this. This needs to stop.</p><p>Suddenly Hop's in the front seat of his truck, hands on the steering wheel.</p><p>"What-?" Billy asks from next to him.</p><p>Hop's body moves on its own, getting out and slamming the door before Billy can even finish his question. Hop recognizes the house as Max's and, by extension, Billy's. Hop opens the passenger door and Billy practically falls into him. Billy looks shaken. His chest is rising and falling much too quick. He looks at Hop like he's afraid of him. It unnerves him.</p><p>"Calm down, kid," Hop says, uncertain but trying to be reassuring. Hop can't remember what happened but Billy looks more rattled than Hop has ever seen, "It's going to be okay." He says it even though he's not so sure himself.</p><p>Then Hop wakes up, at home and in bed.</p><p>He's shaken by his dream. Hop likes to think he knows himself pretty well. And yeah, he can admit that Billy Hargrove is a fine looking young man. Anyone with <em> eyes </em> can see that. That doesn't mean Hop wants to...it doesn't explain him having dreams like <em> that </em> about the kid. Hop doesn't want to <em> screw </em> Billy Hargrove and if he did he certainly wouldn't want to do it like <em> that </em>. </p><p>Hop rubs the sleep and awful images from his eyes as he goes to the kitchen and gets a cup of coffee. While he's eating his cereal, Hop watches Jane come out of her room, hang the phone back up with force, and slam her door in his face. His mood is significantly brightened. By the times he's singing in his car, on his way to tell Joyce the good news that he'd finally gotten Mike and Jane to break up, all thoughts of his weird dream are far from his mind.</p><p>Hop is <em> fuming</em>. Today sucked. First he fell asleep at lunch for hours then had to scramble to play catch up so he could make his date with Joyce. Which she never came to. He's been stood up before but Hop really thought Joyce was different. They'd been circling around each other for a long time. Hop thought she was interested in him too. Apparently fucking <em> not</em>. He's drunk, driving home a little recklessly, when Hop spots him.</p><p>Billy <em> fucking </em>Hargrove.</p><p>Another source of Hop's infinite misery. After his weird dream last night, Hop had another dream about the kid that afternoon. Part of him is pissed at <em> Billy </em>for Hop's strange new interest in him. Billy, who flaunts around in those revealing lifeguard trunks and who squeezes his perfect ass into those criminally tight jeans, knows exactly what he's doing. So, of course, the kid's here now. Stumbling down a dark road, alone, drunk, in the middle of the night, like he has zero self preservation. Hop's drunk and mad and a loud voice in his mind tells him to teach Billy a lesson.</p><p>He stomps on the breaks and pulls a u-turn. Hop is determined to give Billy, in the very least, a stern talking to. Then he sees Billy dash into the woods. If Hop was mad before, he's furious now. He knows Billy isn't from around these parts but surely he knows <em> better </em> than to run around in the <em> woods </em> at <em> night</em>. Hop has worked too many missing people cases where straying into the forests has gotten someone killed to just sit by. His blood is pounding in his ears. Hop's so angry.</p><p>He storms into the woods after the kid. A voice in his mind is demanding he put Billy in his place. He's just drunk enough to agree. He catches Billy by his jacket, slams him back into a tree. He's about to chew Billy the fuck out for being so damn reckless but that isn't what happens. Billy drops to his knees. Hop's mouth and body have a mind of their own. He lets the kid suck him off. He wants Billy's mouth on him but it shouldn't be happening. Hop feels like he isn't in control of himself. Billy hadn't fought back or denied him, had he? It's all such a blur. Hop can't remember everything he said and did. The younger man had seemed so eager, right? Part of Hop convinces himself Billy could have wanted it too.</p><p>He drives Billy a block from his house. The voice in the back of his head chants at Hop over and over to take Billy, to keep him. God, he wants to do it too. Billy smells so good. Hop lets him go. Later, he wonders if any of it really happened or if Hop was just having another weird dream. There's dried semen on his boots in the morning though. Hop doesn't wonder after that. He blames the whole fucked up mess on being drunk.</p><p>Joyce comes by while Hop is still trying to recover from his hangover. She yaps on and on about <em> magnets </em> . Hop doesn't have the patience for it today. He snaps at her, tells her off. When she storms out, threatening to go investigate the lab on her own, Hop lets her. She could die, though, if she goes alone. <em> Good</em>, the voice inside his head tells him.</p><p>Hop gets a call from the station.</p><p>"A missing person?" he asks.</p><p>"Heather Holloway," Flo clarifies, "Call came in this morning. Her parents say she never came home last night. They <em> insist </em>that just isn't like her at all."</p><p>Hop thinks for a moment. Her name is familiar but he can't place it.</p><p>"Well, what leads have we got?" Hop sighs into his coffee.</p><p>"She's a lifeguard at the public pool," Flo tells him like she's reading it from her notes. She probably is, "I can send a deputy down to ask if anyone's seen her there."</p><p>"No, I got it," Hop says but doesn't recall coming to that decision. Oh well, it gives him a distraction, anyway.</p><p>"Whatever you say, Chief," Flo continues, "I'll tell everyone to keep an eye out for her."</p><p>"Thanks," Hop says right before Flo hangs up.</p><p>It's storming like crazy out. He hopes Jane is staying inside with her friend Max, warm and safe. He's trying to give her the appropriate space a young woman needs post break-up and hopes Max is a good influence on her. When he shows up at the pool, the lifeguard behind the desk, Patricia he thinks her name is, pops her gum at him. He asks some broad questions, trying to get a feel for the working relationship between her and Heather. The two seem like they're friends. He tells her about Heather's parents reaching out to the police just as Billy Hargrove rounds the corner.</p><p>"Oh my god!" Patricia exclaims while Hop is putting on his most professional face, "Billy, Heather's missing!"</p><p>"Now, we don't want to jump to any conclusions," Hop cuts in but something about this all feels so very strange, "Her parents said she had to work today."</p><p>"Yeah, she was a no call, no show," Patricia tells him, "Billy's covering her shift."</p><p>"Is that right?" Hop glances at Billy. God, he looks good. Jeans as tight as ever. The collar of his shirt is open. His skin is slick with moisture from the muggy air.</p><p>"Here, Billy, you talk to him so I can go get changed," Patricia interrupts Hop's thoughts.</p><p>Hop decides he is absolutely going to pretend that nothing happened. Something stirs in the back of his mind, like a shadow. He feels the urge to tear Billy's clothes off and <em> ravage </em>him. God, help him, Hop's losing his damn mind.</p><p>"Have you seen Heather today? Heard from her at all?" Hop asks, trying to stay on task.</p><p>Billy shrugs, "No. I've been here all day, haven't seen or heard a thing."</p><p>Hop nods. For some reason he'd been expecting that. Hop can't shake the nagging feeling there's more to Heather's case than meets the eye. He jots down <em> Missed work. No call, no show. Suspicious? </em>Then he replies, "That's what Patricia said too.”</p><p>"Is Heather really missing?" Billy asks. It surprises Hop. Billy sounds younger than usual. Not scared, per se, but uneasy.</p><p>Hop sighs, wants to believe his own words when he answers, "She didn't come home last night and her parents, of course, think she's been abducted. But Heather's nearly eighteen. It ain't unheard of for someone her age to stay out overnight. We're trying to remain optimistic."</p><p>"Right," Billy doesn't sound like he believes it either, "I'm sure she'll turn up."</p><p>Patricia's boyfriend picks her up. Hop doesn't miss there are no other cars in the parking lot. It's pouring rain. Billy's not dressed for the weather at all. Hop offers him a ride but he knows it means more. He <em> can't </em>let Billy go. There's some burning, wretched need in Hop's veins. Like now that he's had a taste of the younger man, Hop needs to consume him. He curses Joyce, somewhere in his mind, thinking if she had given him a chance maybe he wouldn't be drawn into such despicable acts with Billy Hargrove.</p><p>Hop watches Billy snooze against the window as he drives. The kid really is gorgeous. Hop can't ignore it, now, when Billy's right next to him. When his clothes are wet and clingy. When his hair is damp and curling along the dripping lines of Billy's throat. His skin is freaking <em> sunkissed</em>. Hop's never really understood shit like poems and art made after the shape of people. Looking at Billy, he thinks he gets it a little. Those ancient Greek homos would have made statues to honor Billy's beauty, Hop thinks. Hell, they'd probably worship the ground the little shit walked on. He looks like, what's his name, <em> Apollo</em>. And all the ancient Greeks had wanted to fuck him, right? God, Hop looks back at the road, what the hell is wrong with him? It's like he's back in some dumb highschool English class, waxing poetic over a pair of pretty, blue eyes. He's never been the romantic type. Still isn't.</p><p>Hop parks and then realizes he's in the middle of nowhere. </p><p>He gets out but Hop isn't moving his own body, is he? His stomach drops. He's known something is wrong. And it is. Something is very wrong. Billy doesn't get out of the car and Hop feels <em> so angry</em>. But it isn't his anger. There's something in him, something like poison. Hop doesn't yank the truck door open but he <em> does</em>.</p><p>Billy shouts as Hop, but not Hop, drags him out of the truck, "Let me go! Get the fuck off me, you fucking <em> pig</em>!"</p><p>Which isn't right. Hop had thought Billy was a part of this too. He'd sucked Hop off last night. Hop hadn't...he hadn't forced Billy, had he? He thinks about that weird dream he'd had and suddenly wonders if it was a dream at all. Fuck. Hop can't stop himself as he lifts Billy and throws him into the back of his truck. Fuck that lab. Fuck the Upside Down. Fuck whatever monster has possessed his body. Fuck Hawkins fucking Indiana.</p><p>Hop climbs on top of Billy, pins him down. Billy is struggling. It makes Hop sick to his stomach. Up close like this, Hop sees a cut on Billy's cheek, his lip's split open again. Hop knows for a fact, somehow, that it wasn't there when Billy left last night. Hop feels so angry for the kid under him. He knows it was his dad. You can tell. You can always tell.</p><p>"What happened to your face?" he asks even though Hop <em> knows</em>.</p><p>"What?” Billy chuckles but it's not a happy sound, “<em>Y</em><em>ou </em>happened, asshole."</p><p>Hop's stomach twists into knots. All of that bruising on Billy's neck, the cuts and scrapes he'd had last night, Hop did that. The wound on Billy's cheek though, he didn't. He drops Billy’s wrist and touches Billy's cheek. When Billy flinches, Hop growls low in the back of his throat. That time he doesn't know if it's him or the monster inside.</p><p>"I didn't do that."</p><p>Billy growls back, "Why the <em> fuck </em>do you care?"</p><p>Hop cares because he cares about Billy. He knows the kid has it rough, he tries the best he can to help him stay out of trouble. As a cop, his hands are tied. As a human being, Hop just wants Billy to be somewhere safe where he doesn't have to put up with his asshole dad.</p><p>"I don't like people touching what's mine," he says instead, shocking Hop to his soul, "Who did it?" the thing in Hop asks though he <em> knows</em>. He's mocking Hop and he's mocking Billy too, "Were you fucking somebody else, Billy? Did you let someone other than me touch you?"</p><p>Billy looks afraid under him, "No, I wasn't--fuck! It isn't like that!"</p><p>Hop watches his hand grab Billy roughly but his coat, wants so badly to stop it, but can't. "You better not be lying to me," Hop hears himself say.</p><p>"I'm not. He barely even hit me," Billy defends quickly but it makes Hop sick with rage. His dad <em>split his lip</em>, he <em>cut his face</em> but to Billy it's <em>nothing</em>. </p><p>Hop's anger only grows. The monster inside writhes in it, disgustingly pleased. Then he tells Billy, "I should take you, keep you away from that shit," like <em> Hop </em>is the one talking. Hop is thinking it, too, even though he knows how messed up it is.</p><p>When Hop kisses the damp line of Billy's throat, wet with rain from his hair, he can't feel it. His tongue laps at Billy's earring but everything feels muted and numb. Hop can't control his body, feels like he's trapped in a prison inside himself, helpless. He watches his mouth move to kiss Billy but suddenly Billy is throwing him off. Hop's so proud that the kid used the element of surprise to his advantage to get away. He doesn't get far, though. Hop's body is on Billy again in an instant. That's when Hop sees what Billy has clutched in his hand.</p><p>Heather Holloway's fanny pack. Hop knows that it's hers, suddenly, because he remembers her wearing it. The girl had it on when Hop had knocked her out and thrown her in the back of his truck. Not Hop. No, the monster inside him. He'd taken her because he was <em> angry </em>, Hop remembers like he's observing someone else's thoughts. He was angry at Billy. Heather is dead, he knows suddenly. The monster had sacrificed her. Hop feels sick.</p><p>Billy is fighting him, screaming. He's so afraid. He should be, Hop realizes. Billy should be <em> terrified</em>, Hop finally understands. That darkness in him has targeted Billy. He will get what he wants from the kid, Hop knows suddenly. He tries to wrangle control again but <em> can't</em>. He's helpless to stop it when he hits Billy in the face and knocks him unconscious.</p><p>"I'll take him," Hop's mouth says, the monster is talking to Hop, "You can keep him. I know you want to. He'll be so good for you, if you break him right."</p><p>Hop wants to cry, thinks he would if he could. He doesn't want that. It doesn't matter. The monster takes Billy anyway. Hop is forced to watch helplessly as he carries Billy into his house. He strips him. Spreads him out on his bed. Chains him up with his handcuffs. Billy looks so <em> beautiful </em> when he's asleep. Hop hates that he can't stop those thoughts when they come. </p><p>Hop isn't controlling his body. Not when he slicks his cock up with Vaseline. Not when he spreads apart Billy's legs. Not when he fingers Billy open. Billy is still unconscious, completely defenseless. He looks like some innocent, debauched horror straight out of Hop's nightmares. The monster in Hop's mind reminds Hop that he wants this, that he <em> wants </em> Billy. The monster tells Hop he's just giving him what <em> he </em>wants. Hop doesn't think that's true but he doesn't know when he can't tear his eyes away from Billy’s vulnerable, exposed body.</p><p>When the monster enters Billy, Hop feels it. He gasps inside his own mind. He can't control himself, his whole body is numb otherwise, but the tight, wet heat of Billy's body around his cock is viscerally real. Goddamn, Billy opens up for him perfectly. The monster in him laughs at Hop's turmoil. </p><p>Then Hop is forced to watch as Billy wakes. The younger man is clearly terrified and violated. Hop's body doesn't stop fucking him. The monster shifts positions so he's <em> hurting </em> Billy. He wants Hop to feel the pleasure of taking Billy while watching him suffer. He does. His cock has never felt so perfectly welcomed. Billy is ungodly <em> tight</em>. Hop doesn't think he'd last long inside such a perfect ass if he had any control. Since he doesn't, Hop lasts and lasts and <em> lasts. </em>The monster fucks Billy until Hop's sick with the need to come and Billy is a weeping, broken mess under him. When Hop does come, his body feels detached again. He feels nothing when his cock shoots his load all over Billy's body.</p><p>He wants to be relieved he didn't have to experience coming after raping the teenager under him but Hop isn't. He feels cheated and that makes him sick and angry with himself. The monster knows it, too. He delights in it.</p><p>Hop is forced to watch as he murders the people of Hawkins, the ones he’s sworn to protect. He knows he isn’t the one doing it, logically. There’s a supernatural force controlling him. He is helpless to stop his own body no matter how hard he tries. Knowing all that doesn’t make Hop feel any less fucking <em> evil</em>.</p><p>Billy is asleep when Hop returns to his cabin. Hop wants so badly to let the poor boy go. He just wants to stop hurting people. The monster offers him an ultimatum. He doesn’t have to hurt Billy if <em> Hop </em> is the one to touch him. <em> Be gentle</em>, the monster tells him and it’s mocking, like this is a hilarious joke to the evil inside.</p><p>Hop can’t control what he says. He can’t really control his body. But he <em> can </em> clean Billy’s body off as softly as possibly. He <em> can </em> open up Billy properly. Seeing Billy in so much pleasure under his fingers fills Hop with such <em> want </em> and <em> longing. </em> The monster makes him take Billy deep and slow. Hop watches as Billy comes on his cock like the image was stolen right from his fantasies. When Billy comes again, Hop does too. The monster makes sure he feels it that time. Billy’s ass tightens up around him, works Hop’s orgasm out perfectly. Hop feels sick knowing he forced Billy and he <em> liked </em>it.</p><p>The monster lets Hop get Billy up so he can clean himself. He lets Hop get Billy something to eat and drink. He makes Billy pay for it, though. When the monster takes Billy back to the bedroom he forces the younger man to his knees. Billy’s mouth on him feels amazing and Hop fucking hates it. He hates that Billy gags when he swallows. When the monster drags Billy into bed, touches Billy’s body, forces him to come, Hop watches with a heavy heart and sick soul. The things his mouth whispers into Billy’s ear are despicable. Billy cries into his chest and Hop wants to comfort him <em> so bad </em> but he knows that that’s probably the last thing Billy wants.</p><p>Billy is gone when Hop wakes up. The monster in him explodes to life in a blaze of fury. Hop isn’t himself when he leaves the bedroom. He’s losing his mind when the monster sees Billy on the phone. Hop watches as he shoves Billy into the wall and then--nothing. Hop blacks out.</p><p>Hop fades back into existence slowly. He’s aware of sounds first, low murmuring that steadily becomes more clear. It’s the people he’s given to the darkness and himself. They’re talking about <em> plans </em> and <em> her </em> and how <em> she can kill us </em> but Hop’s not cognizant enough to understand what it all means.</p><p>When he can finally take in the world around him, it’s all wrong. He’s in the Upside Down, he thinks. It’s smoky and dark, cold but not in a way that makes his skin prickle. A deep coldness that turns his breath into mist and pierces his very bones but leaves him numb, void of shivers or pain. Hop sees himself standing before a group of ominous as fuck shadow people. He meets his own eyes.</p><p>“Hop?”</p><p>Hop whirls around. Jane is standing behind him. Her nose is bleeding. Her eyes are wide and scared. Hop wants her to stay as far away from him as possible but he also wants to hold her in his arms and promise her everything in the world is going to be okay. He can’t do either.</p><p>“Jane?” he gasps out.</p><p>Then she’s gone and the Upside Down vanishes with her.</p><p>When Hop jerks awake in his truck, he feels more like himself than he has in days. He’s sitting in the driver’s seat, parked in his own driveway. He doesn’t recall how he got here but Hop doesn’t linger on it for long. He’s out of the car in a rush, worried that Jane’s inside, that he’s hurt her, because he just can’t remember anything. It’s night now. He thinks it was morning before. God only knows what awful things he’s done in all that time lost.</p><p>Jane isn’t home, Hop realizes. She must have figured out he isn’t himself. He can only hope she knows to stay <em> away </em> from him. Hop doesn’t get to feel good for long, though. When he turns on his bedroom light, Hop feels ice lance through his heart. It is almost more cold and deadly than being in the Upside Down.</p><p>Billy is a mess, figuratively and literally. His face is busted up something awful. He has a black eye, swollen and purpling, and there’s dried blood coming down from his nose all over his lips and chin. His body is covered in bruises and <em> welts </em> . Like someone lashed him with a belt or something. Someone did, <em> Hop </em> did. Billy’s covered in dried come and God only knows what else. He’s trembling under Hop’s gaze, absolutely <em> terrified</em>.</p><p>Hop still feels the evil presence in his mind but it’s less forward than it has been. He can decide to clean Billy up, tend to his wounds, but it feels poisoned by the voice still inside him that’s so <em> pleased </em> about Billy’s state. It’s chanting to Hop over and over that Billy is close, so very, very close, to breaking. <em> Just a little more</em>, the darkness tells him, <em> and he’s yours for good </em>.</p><p>Hop tries to do right by Billy even though the monster inside taints everything he does. He runs a bath but he knows Billy can’t clean himself, not when his head lolls back, his body doesn’t so much as twitch, his eyes are distant and unfocused. All Hop wants is to make Billy feel better. His hands move on their own, touch Billy in ways that make Hop sick now. Billy reacts so beautifully under Hop’s fingers. Even when Hop is only trying to ease away Billy’s pain, Billy’s reactions fuel that lust in Hop’s veins, the one that the monster in him turns on Hop, mocks him with.</p><p>Billy looks <em> gorgeous </em> in Hop’s clothing. It feels like ownership, seeing the way his flannel hangs off of Billy’s perfect body, but Hop knows it shouldn’t. He doesn’t want to <em> own </em> Billy, not like this. The monster touches Billy, shows Hop through the mirror how hard Billy is, how flushed his face is. The raw <em> want </em> in Billy’s eyes. Then tells them both <em> not yet </em>like this is all a fun fucking game.</p><p>The monster in him still feels less powerful though. Hop gets Billy some food, cleans up his bedroom because the thought of leaving it filthy like that makes him squeamish. When he comes back, Billy’s washing his own dishes. The evil wants Hop to act so Hop lounges on the couch instead. He wants Billy to join him so the evil makes him, grabbing Billy’s arm and pulling the boy down into Hop’s lap.</p><p>It all feels so fucking <em> domestic </em>though. The two of them laying together on the sofa, watching TV. Hop can almost enjoy himself. He watches Billy nearly drop his empty beer can. Hop finds it amusing despite the whole fucked up mess.</p><p>"You a lightweight?" he teases.</p><p>Billy makes an offended noise, "Not even close."</p><p>"Oh excuse me, Mr. Hotshot," Hop finishes his own beer, leans over Billy to set it on the coffee table next to Billy’s can, "I was just noticing the prettiest blush on your cheeks here. That couldn't be cause of little ol' me, could it?"</p><p>Hop can’t believe he just <em> flirted </em>with Billy, after everything he’s done to the poor kid. Hop lays back. His heart is hammering away in his chest. Was that him talking or the monster? Hop’s not so sure anymore. </p><p>He is, though, when his hand slides his flannel up Billy’s stomach, revealing his hard cock. When Hop’s fingers touch Billy’s skin, toying with him and riling him up, Hop knows it’s the darkness inside. He also knows the monster is acting on <em> Hop’s </em>desires. Hop wants to touch Billy, wants to watch Billy fall apart in pleasure, and the evil inside him knows.</p><p>He makes Billy sit in Hop’s lap. He makes Hop watch Billy touch himself. <em> Fuck </em>, Billy is so goddamn gorgeous. When he tells Billy that, the younger man reacts just like Hop wants him to. His face is flushed, like he’s embarrassed but Hop can see how it affects him in the way his hard cock leaks all over his fingers. Hop thinks it’s the monster inside encouraging Billy to come but it’s hard to tell. When Billy does, Hop knows the darkness has nothing to do with Hop’s racing heart and gutting arousal.</p><p>When Billy falls into his arms and weeps, Hop holds him. Not the darkness. Hop is in control of this. He doesn’t want Billy to break. He doesn’t want to break either. Hop wishes he could fight harder, for all the people he’s hurt. Fear pulses through his veins but Hop realizes suddenly it isn’t his own. The evil is afraid of Hop beating him.</p><p>Suddenly the dark consumes him and Hop loses all control of himself. He throws Billy to the ground, furious. Then snatches the kid up by his throat. Hop fights but he’s lost any footing he had.</p><p>"I don't have time for this," the monster inside growls and Hop is sure he’s talking to <em> him</em>. Then he’s snarling at Billy, "You're a <em> distraction</em>."</p><p>Hop’s hand tightens around Billy’s throat and Hop <em> thrashes </em>in his own mind. He can’t do this. He can’t let Billy die like this. Not after everything Hop and the monster inside him has done to Billy. Hop doesn’t want to kill anyone else. He screams inside his own head for this to stop.</p><p>"I should kill you already," the monster snarls in Billy’s face but Hop can feel his body just enough to hold the evil back. The monster relents, furious, "But I can't. <em> He </em> won't let me."</p><p>Damn straight. Hop fights with everything he has. He thinks of Jane, then. She’s just a kid but she’s been through so much. She never stops fighting. Hop wills himself to be as strong as he can for her. And for Billy too.</p><p>"Fine," the monster gives in to him, "I'll keep the boy alive, for now. He better not get in my way again."</p><p>Hop knows the monster can hear him when he promises that Billy is the least of his concerns. He knows the evil thinks it’s amusing that Hop is fighting. <em> Yuck it up while you can </em> , Hop threatens the demon inside his own head, <em> It’s over for you. </em></p><p>The monster finds it funny that Hop thinks he can win. Hop thinks it’s pretty fucking <em> dumb </em>to underestimate him. He can’t wait to prove that asshole riding shotgun in his body very fucking wrong. He’ll beat the monster. Hop can’t afford to lose.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later, Billy will wish he'd asked more questions, wonder why he even went along with those weird ass kids and their crazy story. They were <em> right</em>, Billy finds out, when they all face off against a giant monster made out of human goo in the Starcourt Mall. Steve fucking Harrington is there too. He's wearing a sailor uniform. By then, Billy has stopped wondering what the fuck is going on. El, Max's weird friend, goes toe to toe with the <em> Mind Flayer </em> and kills it. Saves Hop who had been possessed. Or something. Billy had a truly god awful concussion the whole time and he wonders, after, if his mind didn't just make that shit up. Max tells him that, no, supernatural monsters and girls with freaky mind powers <em> are </em>real. It says a lot that all of that was still not the worst thing that happened to Billy that week.</p><p>Which is why Billy can't explain what he's doing here. It's been a week. He's healed up, mostly, save for some yellowing bruises around his left eye and on his wrists. He didn't tell anyone what happened, won't ever probably. He made it out but Billy feels like some part of him <em> didn't</em>. Every night is plagued with nightmares. Some of them are full of fear and pain, some are rife with pleasure. So Billy really doesn't know why he's standing on Hop's doorstep.</p><p>He's showered, he's <em> shaved </em>. He's wearing his jeans that he knows make his ass look amazing. He's unbuttoned his shirt down his chest a bit. Hop, or well evil Mind Flayer Hop, had told him he dressed like this because he wanted it. Billy didn't before. Now, he's not so sure. Before he can talk himself out of it, Billy knocks on the door. When Hop answers, he looks both surprised and resigned to see him.</p><p>"You here to kill me?" he asks.</p><p>Billy steels himself, "Guess we'll find out."</p><p>Hop sighs, pulls his door open, "What the hell do you want, kid?"</p><p>Billy shoulders by him. He's posturing. Fear is alive and well in his veins, especially when he's back inside that house. Still, Billy needs to be here, needs to do this. He takes his boots off on the welcome mat. Then he stops there, just past the front door, uncertain.</p><p>"Sit down," Hop stalks by him, going to the kitchen. Billy bristles. He wants to stand just to be contrary but his knees are kind of weak.</p><p>Billy sits at the table. His heart is pounding. Billy’s scared but Billy is <em>always</em> scared now. Neil was so mad at him, when he finally came home. Max tried to defend him but Neil wouldn't hear it. He told Billy he needed to learn <em>responsibility </em>and that he was a <em>worthless</em> <em>faggot</em> who needed to get his act together. Billy thought maybe for once Neil was right. Then Neil beat the piss out of him. Since Billy had a concussion before, he was up puking all night after. No one came to make sure he was okay. No one rubbed his back. No one wiped his tears away with a warm washcloth. Billy feels like he's missing something he didn’t even know he'd been going without.</p><p> Billy speaks as Hop sets a glass of juice down by his elbow, "Do you remember it?" The man is in the kitchen with him but he's keeping his distance, even as he sits down across from Billy.</p><p>"Okay, you wanna talk about this," Hop rubs at the stress lines of his forehead. He shoves a cigarette into his mouth, lights it.</p><p>"Yeah," Billy snaps, "Think I deserve that fucking much."</p><p>"You do," Hop deflates, "I remember some stuff. Not...<em> everything</em>, I think."</p><p>Billy swallows thickly. His throat is dry all of a sudden. He doesn't touch the juice. Billy watches Hop puff away at his cigarette, the older man seems upset and nervous.</p><p>"Was it ever you and not...you know, that <em> thing</em>?"</p><p>Hop looks at Billy, his eyes are hard, "If you're asking if I raped you for shits and giggles the answer's <em> no </em>. I wasn't ever in control."</p><p>Billy jumps. Then he scowls as a guilty look passes Hop's face. "That's not what I meant," he snaps, "Just. There were times...Was it all just the monster fucking with my head? Was it ever <em> you</em>?"</p><p>Hop smokes for a second, thoughtful, “That asshole was always <em> there </em> but...sometimes I was present, I guess. I just wanted to make it all-” he waves his cigarette around, gesturing, “-better. For you. It’s all I could do. I couldn’t ever stop him.”</p><p>Billy isn’t sure if he wanted to hear that or not. Does that mean Hop was the one taking care of him? Billy reaches across the table and grabs Hop’s pack of cigarettes. He plucks one out and sticks it between his lips. He lights it up quick, puffs it to get it going. Then sucks in a deep breath of smoke. It soothes a little of the panic inside Billy’s veins. The next question he wants to ask is hard, it sticks in his throat. He exhales a plume of smoke.</p><p>“Why me?”</p><p>It’s been driving him crazy. Heather was a pretty girl. They were the same age. She was a <em> girl</em>. Isn’t this kind of stuff supposed to happen to women, not men? Billy doesn’t know. Back in California, he knew men who liked men, it was all super hush hush, but from what Billy remembers they were just like everybody else. He’s confused now, by his own body’s reactions, by the way he feels like he’s <em> this </em>close to solving a puzzle but he’s missing a few pieces.</p><p>Hop sighs and it sounds so fucking <em> tired</em>. “He knew that I…” Hop starts, then runs a hand through his hair. The man looks stressed, more worn out than Billy has probably ever seen, “He knew I think you’re attractive. He went after you because I want you, because you were <em> there </em>, because he wanted to hurt you and me both.”</p><p>Billy swallows thickly, “You want me?”</p><p>Hop startles like whatever Billy could have possibly said, that hadn’t made the list. Billy came here to sort some things out. Knowing where Hop stands in all of this matters. Hop drops the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray on the table.</p><p>“Look, kid,” Hop starts, “I’m not some-some <em> perv </em> or something. You’re a...fine looking young man. I’m not-” he sounds kind of frantic. It makes some tension in Billy ease, a little. Hop looks him in the eye, “I’m not a pervert or a queer. You’re just…”</p><p>“Gorgeous?” Billy teases, bitter, and flicks his ash onto Hop’s table.</p><p>Hop snorts, a stressed, nervous laugh. “Yeah,” his voice wavers, “but I’m not gay or anything.”</p><p>Billy nods. He stands, stubs his cigarette out in the ashtray in the middle of the table. He circles around so he’s in front of Hop. Hop looks up at him. He’s bracing himself. Billy wonders if he thinks Billy’s going to punch him, beat on him, take back some of his <em> manly pride </em>by showing Hop he can defend himself when Hop isn’t possessed by a demon. If only.</p><p>“I’m not either,” Billy says.</p><p>Then he drops to his knees.</p><p>Billy reaches for Hop’s belt. The man gasps. With shaking hands, Billy flips open Hop’s belt and immediately starts working on his pants. Billy doesn’t think it’s fear that’s making him tremble. His blood is pumping. His face feels warm. Deep in his gut, arousal stirs. He wants to be good for Hop, wants to be <em> cherished </em> so he can stop being so fucking afraid all the time. Hop grabs his wrists, hard, to stop him. Billy winces as the bigger man’s fingers dig into his healing bruises.</p><p> Hop sounds bewildered but not angry, “The fuck are you doing?”</p><p>Billy looks up, licks his bottom lip quickly, “You said you want me.”</p><p>Hop looks <em> flustered</em>. “This ain’t about what I want,” he loosens his grip but doesn’t let Billy go, “Kid, this isn’t <em> right </em>.”</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck,” Billy is breathless, “There’s a <em> hell </em> world full of mind controlling <em> monsters </em> made out of <em> human slime </em> . Nothing’s fucking right anymore,” he ducks his head, “Please, I just want to be <em> good</em>.”</p><p>Hop lets his hands go, runs his fingers through Billy's hair. "You don't need to do this to be good, Billy," he sounds so fucking sad. Billy thinks he isn't getting it.</p><p>Billy looks up at Hop again, meets his eye. "I <em> want </em> to," Billy curls his fingers into the band of Hop's underwear but doesn't pull. Words spill out of him, breathless and a little desperate, "I want you to beat the shit out of me and take care of me after. Be all nice to me like I <em> matter </em> . I want to be good for you so you'll rub my back and call me <em> gorgeous </em>like you fucking mean it."</p><p>"Billy, I-" Hop starts.</p><p>"Please, tell me what you want," Billy rubs his palm over Hop's cock through his pants, "Tell me what to do. I want to be good for you so fucking bad."</p><p>Hop sucks in a tight breath. Billy goes to pull Hop’s filling cock from his pants but Hop suddenly acts. Hop grabs Billy by the front of his shirt. He hauls Billy up, gets to his feet, and turns in one quick move. All the air leaves Billy’s lungs when Hop shoves him back into the table behind him.</p><p>“You want this?” Hop shakes him, hard.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” Billy is <em> terrified </em>but he feels alive. He’s hard in his jeans, “Yes, sir.”</p><p>“<em>Don’t </em> call me that,” Hop snarls. </p><p>Billy snaps his jaw shut, nods his head quickly. Hop gulps. Billy can feel his stiffness against Billy’s thigh, knows Hop can feel that Billy’s hard too. </p><p>“God<em> damn it</em>,” Hop curses.</p><p>Then he slams their mouths together.</p><p>Billy parts his lips with a wet moan. Hop’s tongue enters immediately. Billy’s arms come up, around the back of Hop’s neck, pulling the bigger man closer. He tilts his head, urges the kiss to deepen. Hop’s hands fall to his waist, pushing Billy back until the table is shoving into his ass. Billy’s moan is swallowed by Hop’s mouth that time. Billy spreads his legs so Hop can push his hips between them.</p><p>Hop parts their lips for a breath. “Fuck,” he gasps, then comes back, devouring Billy’s mouth again.</p><p>His hands move up, under Billy’s shirt. The feeling of those rough palms against Billy’s skin sends a ripple of dread down Billy’s spine. It doesn’t make the arousal in his veins any less potent though. Billy lets Hop go so he can work the buttons of his shirt open, tearing the fabric down his shoulders and throwing it to the floor.</p><p>“Jesus, you’re something else,” Hop mutters, moving down to plant his lips against Billy’s throat, “You’re <em> stunning</em>.”</p><p>Billy shivers. Holy fuck, hearing Hop praise him like that makes Billy dizzy with lust. Hop kisses under his jaw and his hot, wet tongue flicks out to taste the skin there. Billy grips the tabletop behind him until his knuckles are white. His chest trips over a ragged breath. He’s so hard his tight jeans <em> hurt</em>.</p><p>Hop gets his lips right up against Billy’s ear. “Here’s the deal,” he says, low and serious, “You say stop and I <em> stop </em> , got it? I ain’t going to do <em> anything </em>you don’t want me to. Are we clear?”</p><p>Billy nods, a knot of discomfort unwinding in his chest. He sucks in a steadying inhale and it’s easier to breathe. “Yeah,” his voice sounds almost as raw and needy as he feels, “Please, just-” he cuts himself off, gasping when Hop nips his ear.</p><p>“I’ll take care of you, Billy,” Hop promises.</p><p>Billy <em> knows </em> he means it. Tears prickle in Billy’s eyes but he doesn’t know <em> why</em>. Billy feels happy, relieved. All that fear and jittery panic in his veins finally feels like it’s settling. Billy nods his head because he’s too choked up to speak without embarrassing himself. Hop works Billy’s pants open and Billy shifts his hips so Hop can pull them down.</p><p>Hop kneels in front of him to take Billy’s jeans off. He’s careful but quick, getting Billy’s pants down to his ankles and off swiftly. Billy feels his neck and face warm once he’s naked in front of the other man. Hop trails a gentle hand up Billy’s calf, up his thigh. He leans forward, presses his lips into Billy’s hipbone. Billy squirms; Hop is right next to his hard length. He isn’t expecting it, though, when Hop takes him into his mouth.</p><p>“Fuck!” Billy gasps out, hips jerking as Hop sucks at the tip of his cock. </p><p>Hop’s hands land on his waist, holding Billy in place while he laps his tongue down the bottom of Billy’s cock. Then Hop moves up, licking the head of Billy’s dick again, before kissing wetly at his bellybutton, up his abs, up under his ribcage. Billy pants, squirms. Hop sucks one of Billy’s nipples into his mouth and Billy cries out. Billy can feel Hop’s grin when he comes up to kiss under Billy’s chin. His saliva cools on Billy’s heated skin and it makes him shiver. Billy’s mouth is already open when Hop moves to kiss him again. Billy meets him halfway, tongue first, and licks into Hop’s mouth eagerly. Hop moans into his lips.</p><p>Hop gets his hands under Billy's thighs and lifts. Billy clutches at Hop's shoulders as the older man picks him up. When they start moving, Billy wraps his calves tightly around Hop's back to hold on.</p><p>"I ain't fucking you on the table," Hop murmurs an answer to a question Billy didn't ask. Then he's kissing Billy again.</p><p>As they stumble down the hallway, Hop bumps them into the wall. Billy's back thumps into the surface with a solid thud. He parts their lips to shove at Hop's shoulder.</p><p>"Watch it," he snaps.</p><p>"Sorry, sorry," Hop presses into Billy though, pushing him up against the wall more, and kisses at his throat, "You're not exactly light, you know."</p><p>"Evil Mind Flayer Hop would have had no problem," Billy jests.</p><p>Hop pulls back to glare at him, "Don't joke about that."</p><p>"Too soon?" Billy kisses Hop quickly in apology, "Come on then, put your back into it, old man."</p><p>"Jesus Christ, you're a menace," Hop grumbles.</p><p>Billy chuckles as Hop adjusts his grip and hikes Billy up. Then he finally spins him away from the wall. Billy's laugh vanishes, though, when Hop carries him into his bedroom. He gulps. His pulse skyrockets and this time it isn't from arousal. Billy feels sick to his stomach, bile rises into the back of his throat. He clutches at Hop's shoulders because it's the only thing he's got to hold onto.</p><p>“You okay?” Hop asks, pausing just inside the doorway.</p><p>“Yeah,” Billy’s voice doesn’t come out very strong so he clears his throat, “Yeah, I’m good.”</p><p>“Billy…” Hop starts.</p><p>“I’ll tell you to stop if I’m not okay,” Billy cuts in, more forceful, more <em> sure</em>, “and you’ll stop. That’s what we agreed, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, kid,” Hop starts moving again, “That’s the deal.”</p><p>“Then don’t fucking stop.”</p><p>Billy gets his hands up the back of Hop’s head, in his hair, and uses his grip to tip Hop’s head back. Hop winces, opens his mouth to bitch probably but Billy connects their lips again before Hop can. Hop moans as Billy slips his tongue into the older man’s mouth. He curls his tongue around Hop’s and sucks it into his mouth. Hop clutches at Billy’s back and takes over the kiss, fucking his tongue past Billy’s pliant lips.</p><p>Hop sits on the edge of his bed and secures Billy in his lap. Billy's knees end up on either side of Hop's waist, pressing into the comforter. It's a different blanket than was on the bed before. Now it's soft and fluffy instead of the scratchy quilt Billy's uncomfortably familiar with. Billy parts their mouths to catch his breath. Hop slides his hands up to Billy's shoulder blades, big fingers pressing into the muscles there. The man's hands kind of drive Billy wild.</p><p>"Hurt me," Billy pants, a little frantic, "Hit me. Then make it better."</p><p>"Is that what you want?" Hop sounds breathless now too, hands moving down Billy's back, down to his ass.</p><p>Billy nods, head spinning with desire, "Yes, sir."</p><p>Hop <em> flinches. </em> "Don't-" he rests his forehead into Billy's shoulder, "Jim. Just call me Jim."</p><p>"Sorry," Billy says quickly, "I didn't mean--Please, Jim. I want your hands on me. Let me be good for you."</p><p>Hop lets out a shaky breath, "You want to be a good boy, Billy?"</p><p>Billy <em> shudders. </em>A strangled whine leaves his throat. His cock twitches between them. Billy doesn't think something has ever turned him on like Hop calling him that.</p><p>"Yes. <em> Please</em>," Billy sounds just this side of too desperate. </p><p>Hop is definitely affected though. His fingers grip Billy's ass tight. His breath leaves him in a heated exhale, warm against Billy’s collarbone before cooling Billy's skin. Billy shivers. Hop sucks at the skin under Billy's ear and Billy <em> whimpers</em>.</p><p>"Okay," Hop says like he's psyching himself up, "Okay. You want this then show me. Get over my lap, ass up. Now, Billy."</p><p>Billy <em> scrambles </em> to obey. He lays himself across Hop's thighs, face down, arms folded under his head. His knees press into the mattress on the other side of Hop's legs. Hop wraps a big arm over the small of Billy's back, holding Billy onto his lap by his waist. His other hand smoothes down the curve of Billy's ass. Billy’s fingers grip the blankets tightly. He can feel that his face is hot and flushed. This position is humiliating in a way that makes Billy helplessly aroused. His hard cock is pressed all up against Hop's leg. The man's slacks create friction that's just painful enough to keep Billy from coming on the spot.</p><p>"Ready?" Hop asks, squeezing Billy’s ass.</p><p>Billy lets out a shaky breath, tries not to hump Hop's leg, "<em>Yes</em>."</p><p>The first slap shocks a gasp out of Billy’s mouth. Hop's hand is big, it lands just under Billy’s asscheek right where it turns into his thigh. It stings but more than that it feels so goddamn <em> good</em>. Billy's breath shudders into a high-pitched moan. Hop spanks him again, right on the curviest part of his ass. Billy jolts, his leg jerks, and he moans once more. Hop holds him firmly as he brings his hand down again. Billy is panting, his blood is singing in his veins. A crack rings out when Hop claps him on the ass again.</p><p>"Fuck!" Billy gasps, rocking his hips down and thrusting against Hop's thigh.</p><p>Hop spanks him good and hard that time, "Hold still, Billy."</p><p>"Sorry," Billy says frantically, "Please don't stop."</p><p>Hop doesn't. He spanks Billy over and over until Billy is a mess under him. The pain makes tears spring to Billy's eyes but not in a bad way. When they fall, it feels like relief. Hop lands a solid smack right under Billy's asscheek and Billy cries out. Hop stops, runs his palm up Billy's hot, stinging cheek all soft and gentle. It makes Billy want to fall apart just so those strong hands will put him back together. His shoulders shake as he cries into his arms. Hop squeezes his tender asscheek.</p><p>"We're almost done," Hop tells him, "I'll do ten more. Count them out."</p><p>Billy nods but Hop smacks his ass, hard, and Billy quickly answers, "Yes! Okay, I-I'll count them."</p><p>"Alright, we're starting now," Hop warns.</p><p>Billy tries to prepare himself but he's still shocked when Hop brings his palm down on him, <em> hard</em>. He bites off a yelp that tries to escape his mouth. The sound of skin cracking against skin rings out. Billy counts it out loud and his voice fractures. When Hop spanks him, every blow is harder and more painful than the last. Billy counts them but he's crying and his voice is cracking. When Hop gets to eight, Billy forgets. Hop says his name in warning and Billy scrambles to get the words out. By ten, Billy is sobbing. His ass is a mess of burning pain. His cock is <em> throbbing </em> against Hop's thigh. His head is spinning.</p><p>"There, we're done," Hop hushes him, running a soothing palm over Billy’s sore ass, "You were perfect. You're such a good boy for me, Billy."</p><p>Billy crawls up and sits in Hop's lap again. He wraps his arms around Hop's neck and weeps into his shoulder. Hop holds him, all soft and tender, and Billy feels like he's found whatever part of himself he's been living without. He wants to be held and comforted and loved. Hop gives him that. His hands that were just hurting him moments ago touch Billy so gently now. Hop rubs his palms up Billy's back until Billy has calmed down.</p><p>"Let me make you feel good," Hop pants into Billy’s hair, breathless, "You deserve it, Billy. Let me take care of you."</p><p>Billy has never thought he deserved anything but the shitty cards his life dealt him. Hop makes him question all of that. He comes up to kiss Hop, mouth open and tongue lapping at Hop's lips. Hop swallows him in a wet kiss. His hands cup Billy's face, thumbs smudging away Billy's tears softly. When Billy parts their lips, a trail of spit follows. Hop wipes it off of Billy's chin just as gently.</p><p>"You too," Billy pants, "I want to make you feel good too, Jim."</p><p>Hop swallows thickly, "God, you're perfect."</p><p>When Hop lifts Billy and spins them around, Billy feels flushed and flattered. Hop says those kinds of things to him so easily, like he doesn't have any doubts. Billy lands on his back up on the bed where Hop drops him and his heart is pounding. Fear is the furthest thing from his mind though. Billy wonders if that blood-pumping high that’s racing through his heart is more than just arousal. He's been turned on before. But never quite like <em> this</em>.</p><p>Billy watches as Hop grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it off. The man strips in front of him, not sensually but casually, and it makes Billy’s pulse pound in his ears. Hop is <em> big </em>in the kind of way that can hurt, Billy knows too well, but protect too. He’s thick in all the right places, his chest is filled with a layer of hair. When Hop takes his pants off, Billy’s throat goes dry. He knows Hop’s cock is large, intimately and painfully, but seeing the swollen thickness between Hop’s legs works Billy up anyway. He squirms, ass sore against the blankets and dick aching against his abs. </p><p>Hop climbs back over him and Billy spreads his legs wide to make room for him. Hop gets one of his hands under Billy's knee and pushes his leg up a bit, opening him even more. Billy grips the comforter and tries not to feel uneasy. Hop looks Billy over, up and down, and any fear in Billy dissolves. Hop's eyes are warm, lustful, and a little bit awed. He reaches for Billy's cock but seems to hesitate, hand settling on his waist instead.</p><p>"You don't look like him," Billy says softly, so soft it surprises himself, "Your eyes don't look like his at all."</p><p>Hop doesn't meet Billy's stare, "It was my desire he was acting on. <em> I </em> wanted you so <em> he </em>took you."</p><p>Billy gulps. Then he reaches for Hop's hand, grips it. "And I want <em> you</em>," Billy moves Hop's hand down to his cock, "So take me back."</p><p>Hop looks at him then, his gaze heated and passionate. When he nods, Hop grips Billy's dick firmly. Billy leans back into the sheets as Hop begins to pump him. After being so worked up for so long Billy's skin is sensitive. He's so hard he's already leaking over his abs. Hop twists his wrist and Billy lifts his arms, raking his fingers through his own hair. His chest lurches with a hitched breath when Hop's other hand cups his balls and squeezes. Billy's hands scramble into the blankets above his head, grabbing at the sheets and yanking on them. He's already so fucking close. Hop's hands pick up their pace. He pumps Billy's cock, up and down, while he rolls Billy's sack in his palm. Billy feels his balls tighten, his stomach flutters with arousal. Suddenly Billy sits up in a rush.</p><p>"Stop, stop, stop," he gasps. Hop drops him like he's been burned. Billy grabs him by his wrists before he can move away. "I don't want to come yet," he clarifies, "I want to come on your cock."</p><p>"Jesus," Hop groans but Billy doesn't miss that his cheeks are flushed with arousal, "You're killing me, kid."</p><p>Billy flops back, chuckling as he sweeps his sweaty hair out his face, "Don't tell me your heart can't take it."</p><p>"Ha. Ha. Enough with the old man jokes," Hop leans over, grabs a tub of Vaseline out of the end table, "I'm not that old, you know."</p><p>"Yeah," Billy leaves one arm up over his head and trails his fingers down through Hop's chest hair with the other, "but I like that you're older. It's hot as fuck," he grins when Hop scowls, "Chalk it up to daddy issues, I guess."</p><p>"If you call me daddy, we're done," Hop threatens, flipping the cap off and wetting his fingers.</p><p>"Come on," Billy wraps one of his legs over Hop's thigh, "Admit it. You think it's hot."</p><p>Hop rolls his eyes and doesn't answer. That says enough though. Billy giggles. When Hop looks at him again his eyes are warm and affectionate. Billy feels that fluttery, heart-racing elation in his chest again. He cups Hop by the back of his neck and urges him down into a kiss. It's surprisingly chaste, just a quick meeting of lips. Then Hop dips down and sucks a hickie into Billy’s neck. Billy grins as he tips his head back to give the man room.</p><p>Hop's slick fingers trail down Billy's inner thigh. They grope Billy’s balls quickly before moving under them. Billy moans, loud and unashamed, when Hop touches his asshole. His fingertips are slippery and warm. They don't enter right away, massaging the tight muscles until Billy is relaxed. When one dips inside, Billy’s breath hitches. It feels as good as he remembers only <em> better </em> because Billy <em> wants </em>to be here. Hop presses in and in until he finds the spot that makes Billy yelp in pleasure. He's really never felt anything as good as that. Lights explode behind Billy's eyes as Hop works his finger over that spot. His knee jerks into Hop's side when Billy's hips twitch upward on their own accord. He grips his own hair.</p><p>"Fuck," Billy squeezes Hop's shoulder with his other hand, "What <em> is </em>that?"</p><p>"Your prostate," Hop answers into Billy’s collarbone where he's still sucking and biting, "That feel good?"</p><p>"Yeah," Billy groans as Hop strokes his prostate again, "Feels amazing."</p><p>Hop slips another finger into him and immediately targets his prostate again. His thumb strokes the flesh above Billy's asshole and under his balls. Billy spasms, gasping. Hop smirks up at him before he takes Billy's nipple into his mouth. Billy grabs a handful of Hop's hair and grips at the blanket above his head. His blood is singing, arousal burning in his gut. His cock trembles against his stomach. Another wet finger enters him and suddenly Billy drops over the edge.</p><p>"Jim!" he yelps out as he comes all over himself.</p><p>His cock twitches, shooting his load onto his belly and Hop's. His legs jerk in, squeezing Hop's waist between them. He yanks on Hop's hair probably too hard. His asshole clenches up around Hop's slick fingers. His hips snap up. Hop just fingers him through it as Billy's eyes roll back into his skull. Billy slumps, suddenly breathless. His fingers unwind from Hop's locks and he drops his hand over his eyes, the other one lays over his head. Billy is relaxed and tingly and high off his orgasm.</p><p>"Damn," he mutters, "I didn't want to come yet."</p><p>Hop chuckles warmly against his chest "You done?" he spreads his fingers a little, inside Billy, and Billy mewls, "We can stop here if you want."</p><p>"Not on your <em> life</em>," Billy is breathless but his voice is deep and serious, "Get the fuck in me already."</p><p>"Hey, I was thinking…" Hop slides his fingers free, taps them against Billy’s balls, "Wanna ride me?"</p><p>Billy blinks under his hand. Then he moves it up to his forehead so he can look Hop in the eye, "<em>Fuck </em>yeah I do."</p><p>Hop smirks. </p><p>They shuffle around until Hop is leaning back into his pillows, shoved against the bedframe, and Billy is sitting over his stomach. Hop's got a hand on Billy's hip and a hand on his own cock, guiding Billy as he lines himself up. Billy feels the tip of the other man's length slip between his cheeks, down his crack. When Hop's thick cock pushes inside him, Billy lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. It's a stretch fitting even the tip inside but it ignites the lust in Billy's veins. He lets out a throaty moan, grabbing at Hop’s shoulders.</p><p>“Too much?” Hop asks but his voice is strained, breathless. Billy likes that the older man seems just as affected by all of this as he is.</p><p>Billy shakes his head, swallows quickly, “No, keep going.”</p><p>Billy sinks down Hop’s cock slowly, his thighs tremble and his breath hitches. He feels full way before his ass meets Hop’s thighs. When it does Billy whines low in the back of his throat. His ass is sore and tender and sitting on Hop’s lap hurts so fucking good. He’s getting hard again. When Hop grips his cock, strokes it a little roughly, Billy's hips rock up. Both of them gasp as Billy accidentally fucks himself on Hop’s thickness. Hop’s other hand cups his smarting asscheek and encourages Billy to keep moving. Billy rolls his hips again.</p><p><em> Fuck</em>. It feels so good. Billy’s a little high off the feeling of being filled with cock and a little high off being on top of Hop, controlling the way Hop moans with every grind of his hips. Billy lifts himself up and drops back down into Hop’s lap. The clap of Hop’s scratchy thighs against his freshly beaten ass knocks a high, urgent sound from Billy’s throat. So he does it again.</p><p>"God<em> damn </em> you're beautiful like this," Hop groans, letting go of Billy's cock to get another hand on his ass.</p><p>Billy's face burns. He shouldn't want to be called beautiful but he does. Right now he doesn't have the brain power to care. When Billy pushes himself up again, Hop helps. He lifts Billy and when Billy falls back down Hop's hips snap up to meet him. Billy rakes his nails across Hop's shoulders as his hands clench up tight. He shudders. His toes curl. The pain in his ass combines with the dizzying high of being fucked deep and hard in a way that makes Billy crazy. He feels simultaneously out of his mind, like his body is jelly, and completely present, too aware of the pleasure zipping through his veins. </p><p>He lets Hop take over, picking Billy up and slamming him down onto Hop's cock over and over. Moaning helplessly, Billy holds on tight while Hop fucks him, good and hard and fast. His cock slaps into his abs every time Billy is rocked up and down. It stings and also makes Billy's blood roar in his ears. He can touch himself but if he does, Billy's going to nut on the spot. He's close even though Hop's thrusts aren't hitting his prostate. He just feels so stimulated. Anything more might be too much. His eyes flutter shut on a particularly hard thrust and Billy parts his lips in a breathy moan.</p><p>"Shit, I'm close," Hop grunts. He settles Billy into his lap again and lays a big hand on Billy's stomach, "Here, lean back. Put your hands on my legs."</p><p>They're both breathless and panting. Billy doesn't question the change, too dizzy with lust, and lets Hop's hand on his belly steer him back. Billy reaches behind him to hold himself up on Hop's thighs. When he leans back, all the air is punched from his lungs. Hop's cock is still buried in him, deep as hell, and at this angle it hits Billy's prostate dead on. Billy's cock twitches between them, dribbling precum. He whimpers.</p><p>"That's it. That's perfect," Hop has one hand behind Billy's back, supporting him, and the other slides down Billy's chest. His voice is hoarse when he growls, "I'm so close. Be a good boy and make me come, Billy."</p><p>Billy wants to so fucking bad. He rolls his hips. They both moan out loud. So he does it again. Billy riding Hop like this isn't as forceful and hard as it was moments ago but Billy likes it better. Hop's cock stays in him, deep as he can get, while Billy grinds his hips. It shoves Hop's hardness up into his prostate every time he moves. Hop seems to like it too. His face is flushed, a sweat has broken across his skin, he's looking at Billy with these fucking <em> eyes. </em> They're warm and hungry, taking in Billy’s every move like he's bringing him to rapture.</p><p>Hop's hand on Billy's back encourages him to move faster so Billy does. He rolls his hips back and forth, fucking himself onto the other man with quick, sharp thrusts. Hop caresses Billy as he does. He strokes his collarbone, down his chest, grazes Billy's nipple, trails down his abs. Billy trembles under the touch. He feels treasured, like he's something precious and lovely. Billy's breath ratchets up, his hips move faster. Hop moans out his name. Under Billy, Hop's hips begin rocking up to meet his every move.</p><p>"Just a little more," Hop squeezes Billy's waist, "I'm right there."</p><p>"Do it in me," Billy snaps his hips up erratically. He's close too. So fucking close, "Come in me."</p><p>Suddenly Hop grips Billy's cock. Billy's hips stutter as he cries out in surprise. The touch shocks his system. Hop pumps him with force, sending Billy careening over the edge. He throws his head back, moaning and fucking up into Hop's fist as he comes. His cock jerks in Hop's tight grip, shooting all over Hop's fingers. His ass clamps up around Hop's thick cock. Hops lets out a broken moan. His hips snap up into Billy a couple more times before he climaxes. Billy feels Hop's cock jerk inside him, spilling his load. Billy keeps rocking his hips, clenching up, working every drop of cum from the other man that he can. Hop's breaths shudder out of him.</p><p>Hop wraps both his hands around Billy's lower back and eases him to a stop. Then he pulls Billy up and into a heated kiss. Billy tongues at Hop's mouth, moaning eagerly. He feels good. He feels so fucking good. Hop kisses him back slow, leisurely, like he's savoring Billy. Billy gets his hands in Hop's hair again but not to grip or pull. He massages his fingers through Hop's locks as Hop rubs his back. Billy eases his own eagerness and lets the kiss turn sensual and lazy. Hop's tongue curls against the roof of his mouth, behind his teeth. Billy shivers. He parts their lips to catch his breath and Hop moves to kiss at his jaw.</p><p>"Not too bad for an old man, huh?" Hop teases.</p><p>Billy huffs a laugh, "<em>Not too bad </em> he says like I didn't just nut my brains out of my dick. <em> Twice. </em>"</p><p>Hop lets out a surprised chuckle, "Jesus, kid," then he hugs Billy a little tighter, "God, I needed that."</p><p>"Me too," Billy says, too sincere.</p><p>He swallows against his dry throat. Then he leans into Hop a little more, wants the other man to hold him even tighter. Hop does.</p><p>When Billy stands in Hop's shower after, Hop is in there with him. He washes Billy's hair. Billy keeps his eyes closed even though Hop has rinsed the shampoo out. When Hop soaps up Billy's shoulders, washes his back, Billy still doesn't open his eyes. Hop's hands are calloused, the big, worn palms of a man who has used them his whole life, but they're soft on Billy. Neil's hands are rough too. But Billy can't think of a time they were ever kind to him. He cries silently and his tears are swept away by the water streaming down overhead. Hop knows, Billy thinks, because the man kisses him in his wet hair and keeps massaging Billy's shoulders with his thumbs tenderly.</p><p>Once they're clean and out of the shower, Hop dries Billy off. He scrubs a fluffy towel over Billy from his head to his toes. Billy can do it himself but he lets Hop anyway. When the older man wraps the towel around Billy's waist, he smooches Billy next to his bellybutton. Billy pulls him up into a real kiss by his hair. Hop huffs an annoyed breath into Billy’s lips but he kisses him anyway.</p><p>Billy is in the kitchen looking for his clothes when Hop finally comes in from his bedroom. He's dressed in some jeans and a funky button down t-shirt. Billy thinks he looks like a fashion disaster and a walking wet dream at the same time. Billy decides not to question his own tastes and just rolls with it. When he's pulling his jeans up, Billy sees Hop set something down on the table.</p><p>"I found that in my truck," Hop says as he fishes two cigarettes out of his pack.</p><p>Billy scoops his shirt up off the floor while Hop flicks his lighter open and strikes it up. As Billy's pulling his top on, he glances at what Hop's set down and pauses. He leaves his buttons undone as he moves to examine it. A pendant on a long chain. The Virgin Mary is carved delicately into the pewter. Billy traces it with his fingers and feels something sad and lonely in his chest. It feels a lot like grief. He hesitates to put it on.</p><p>"It was my mother's," Billy speaks quiet, soft. He doesn't talk about it. Neil hates that Billy still wears the thing.</p><p>Hop doesn't say anything. He takes one of the lit cigarettes from his lips and sticks it between Billy's. Then he picks the necklace up from under Billy's fingers. He undoes the latch with careful, practiced ease. Billy almost startles when Hop wraps the chain around his neck. The pendant lays along Billy's bare sternum. Hop hooks the chain closed. When the necklace settles, Hop moves Billy's hair out of the way and the chain falls against the back of Billy's neck, a familiar weight. Hop steps back, takes a drag of his smoke.</p><p>"It suits you," he tells Billy and Billy knows he doesn't just mean that it looks good on him. He's talking about Billy wearing a token to remember his mother.</p><p>Billy looks down, away, eyelashes fanning against his cheeks. He smokes quietly for a moment.</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>It doesn't feel like enough, doesn't express what Billy's truly feeling--the gratitude, the relief, the belonging, the longing, the forgiveness--but it's all Billy can think of to say.</p><p>"Hey," Hop gets his attention but he's speaking in a low, pensive voice, "You okay?"</p><p><em> Yes</em>, Billy thinks, then, <em> no</em>.</p><p>"My dad beats the shit out of me," Billy says, still not looking at the other man, "And all that messed up stuff that went down," he has to take a drag, his fingers are shaking for some reason, "It sucked. Fucked me up. A lot," he plucks the cigarette from his lips, shoves the palm of his hand into his eye socket. He's trying not to cry like a little bitch, "This is probably the only thing that's made me feel okay in as long as I can fucking remember. How screwed up am I?"</p><p>"You're allowed to be," Hop tells him, "That doesn't mean <em> you're </em>a screw up, kid," his voice has an edge to it, "You know, you're dad's a real piece of shit. I've always wanted to say that. And you don't have to act like an asshole just cause your dad is. I've always wanted to say that too."</p><p>Billy lets out a wet sounding chuckle, "Yeah, I am kind of an asshole, aren't I?" the amusement wavers out of his voice, "Shit, my mom would hate that I act like that jackass."</p><p>"Want me to arrest him?" Hop teases but Billy thinks that maybe he's being a little too serious with his offer.</p><p>"Nah, I'm almost eighteen," Billy sighs, scrubs away the tears that never fell, and starts smoking again, "He'll kick me out then it won't be my problem anymore."</p><p>Hop groans to himself, "Jesus Christ, you're not even eighteen what in the hell am I doing?" then he kisses Billy on his forehead. </p><p>It immediately eases the tense panic Billy didn't even notice was building in his veins. He ashes his cigarette out in the ashtray next to his earlier butt.</p><p>"I'm not really okay but," Billy glances up at Hop, "We're going to be."</p><p>"Yeah," Hop cups Billy's cheek and Billy falls into it like it's the long awaited embrace of reuniting lovers, "I'll be here. If you ever need me. And if you ever want to see your asshole dad behind bars, I'll back that too."</p><p>"Okay," Billy chuckles a little, then covers Hop's hand with his own. He kisses Hop's rough palm with soft lips, "I'll be here too, you know," then he smirks, "If you ever want to, I don't know, rock my world again or something."</p><p>Hop pinches his cheek, "You're a little shit," but his face is as red as a beet.</p><p>Billy laughs at him.</p><p>He's had a shitty couple of weeks. Well, a shitty fucking <em> life </em> really. But lately Billy's been living with a constant, jittering panic in his veins and an empty, gnarled void in his chest. He's been hollowed out, made dead inside. He thinks he gets it, kind of, when people talk about waking up in hospitals, brought back after they flatlined. They get a second chance they never even knew they were going to need. Tonight, Hop had laid his hands on Billy and jumpstarted his heart, made Billy feel alive again. Billy isn't the same boy the Mind Flayer killed, he thinks. He's ready to mourn that person and move on. He wants to live and he wants to do it right.</p><p>Billy doesn't want to waste his second chance.</p>
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